A Broken Promise
by staybeautifulx
Summary: He left her with a promise of returning, when fame became too much he broke it. Little did he know not only did he leave just her behind, but his child. Will he ever know? What kept him from returning to begin with? Will their secrets ever be revealed? EB
1. Preface: Promises, Promises

**Disclaimer- Sadly, I don't own twilight.**

**Full Summary- He left to follow his dream, he promised to come back. But when he broke that promise she promised herself that he would never know about their daughter. Both Bella and Edward have their secrets, when will they be revealed? Will it be enough?**

*  
You said we'd stick it out through the thick and thin,  
And when the walls came down,  
You wouldn't let me in.  
We've been through it all,  
My back's against the wall;  
It's crashing down on me tonight.  
-Boys Like Girls.  
*

-*-  
**Preface****: Promises, Promises. **

It was all worked out.  
Every I was dotted, every T crossed.

He would be leaving over the summer and I would stay home preparing for my senior year.  
He would go to California and audition for a movie.  
He would come back and wait for me to graduate.

Once I graduated we would go to Dartmouth College.  
He would major in music, and I would major in English;

It was the perfect plan.  
If only, things worked out the way they were planned.

But then again, maybe promises are just meant to be broken.

_*  
I watched in silent pain as he walked around the room collecting his clothing and placing it into the open suitcase that was lying on the bed; a silent reminder that he was leaving._

_I scowled at the offending item and huffed and pushed Edward out of the way and started folding the loose shirts and jeans and placing them gently in the suitcase. I picked up one of his flannel shirts and quickly replaced my jacket with it. I tugged on the collar and inhaled his scent; I instantly felt relieved, I always felt better when he was near. "Baby, why are you stressing this?" Edward asked as he pushed the suitcase to the side and sat directly in front of me. I didn't look at him—I couldn't. He could read me like an open book, he would know; he would see how scared I was, how much I already missed him. He could see it all with just one glance at my eyes. _

_I silently walked into his closet and pulled out his Forks high school senior hoodie with 'Cullen' written on the back in bold white letters. "I'm keeping this." I muttered to myself and placed it by the door._

"_Baby, baby stop." Edward stood and pulled me into his warm embrace and I couldn't help it, a tear slipped out._

"_You're leaving me." I whispered as I tugged on the collar of his shirt. I didn't need to look up to know that Edward was looking down at me with his gorgeous, captivating emerald eyes. His eyes held such love; adoration. And that's what made his leaving worse._

"_Baby, I made you a promise and I will keep it. I'll be back home by the time you start school again. What are the chances of me getting a job anyways? Slim to none. Those actors are trained from birth to be the way they are. One kid from a small town won't make a difference. I just have to do this before we go to college; I have to know I gave it my best shot. Stop worrying baby, I'll be back, even though I hate Newton I'll get a job at the store to keep myself entertained. No worries okay?" He pushed my bangs behind my ear and I finally glanced up at him, his eyes held sincerity and promise, I was almost reassured, I knew our love could survive the distance, we might be teenagers but I knew this, this pull I felt towards him was real; our love was real._

_But that didn't stop the fear that'd he find someone better in California. _

"_But what if you don't come back?" I was nervous, hell I had a reason to be. Los Angeles held models, actresses, and singers. I knew Edward would never cheat on me, but the temptation would be there. And maybe he would see that him being with me was only holding him back from being the star he could be._

_He pushed away from me and began searching through his now almost empty nightstand. _

"_I was saving this for another day, but we need this right now. Bella, this ring is my promise to you that I'll be back and we'll go to college together. This is a promise that my heart is yours and I promise I'll never leave you; we'll always be together. Baby, you gotta face it; its me and you forever." _

_I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand as he slid the ring onto my ring finger on my left hand. "It's beautiful." I murmured as I took in the ring in its entirety. It appeared to be a white gold ring with a diamond in the center and two hearts surrounding it. In other words, it was beautiful._

_At that moment I felt calm. This ring would be a reminder that although we were apart we would always have each other._

_I kissed Edward quickly and as we pulled away he grabbed my left hand, "Promise me you'll keep that ring on until I can replace it with another ring?" I nodded eagerly, loving the fact that my boyfriend had plans for us in the future._

"_I promise Baby." I leaned forward and grabbed the collar of his jacket and instantly attached my lips to his. We fell back onto the bed and I smiled into the kiss. We were teenagers; we were immature, we fought constantly, but one thing we would never doubt was our love.  
*_

It all seemed perfect back then.  
I honestly thought our _'plan'_ would work.

I was naïve and stupid.

He broke his promise;  
He never came back.

However, he did leave me with a surprise of my own:  
He left me pregnant with his child.

Slowly, as the days passed I recognized everything he ever said to me was a lie;  
He didn't love me, if he did he would've came back.

And I still wear the stupid ring because the hopeless romantic in me still hopes that one day my doorbell would ring and he would be standing there pleading for forgiveness.

But would I forgive him?  
I don't really know.

There were too many things standing between us.  
Too many secrets;  
Too many lies.

I'm a 20-year-old single mother raising Carly Rose Swan;  
Edward Cullen's daughter;  
The famous, millionaire movie star, Edward Cullen.

He doesn't know.  
And if it were up to me, he would never know.

He broke his promise.  
-*-

**

* * *

**

**Q/A: What's one promise that you have broken?**

* * *

**AN: Like it? Hate it? Review and let me know!**


	2. Chapter 1: Webcam fights

**Disclaimer- Sadly, I don't own twilight.**

*****_**  
**_An angel's smile is what you sell;  
You promise me heaven then put me through hell.  
Chains of love got a hold on me,  
When passion's a prison you can't break free.  
- Bon Jovi_  
_*

**Chapter 1****: ****Webcam fights.**

_We were sitting on the beach at La Push, Edward was seated behind me and his hands were wrapped around my waist, his hands resting on my now round belly. I felt safe, comfortable, but most of all, happy._

"_I can feel her kick." He murmured against my temple, I glanced back at him and smiled as his eyes widened in amazement and awe. _

_We watched Carly build a sand castle when suddenly a ball of fur ran towards her and jumped on her, effectively knocking her down. I immediately started to get up to help her but Edward tightened his hold on me._

"_It's okay love, I got it." His crooked smile still had the ability to melt me even after all the things we've been through. Edward got up and made his way towards Carly and he knelt down and pulled her into his lap and started tickling her. I then heard the best sound in the world—my baby girl's laugh. I watched Edward pick up a piece of driftwood and throw it at our dog who was too busy chasing his tail. I smiled at the sight of Carly kissing Edward on the cheek; he was so loving and attentive with her. Once she settled down Edward made his way over to me, smiling widely._

_He crouched down in front of me, resting his hand on my belly and smiled, "I love you baby."_

_I rolled my eyes as I responded, "I love you too Edward."_

"_Forever?" He asked; I smiled at his need to be assured. Silly boy, he always had my heart._

"_Yeah babe, forever." Before I could finish my sentence he already pulled me up and started attacking my lips with his. It start out slowly, just as our regular kisses started, but the intensity of the moment instantly took over as he slid his tongue out, brushing it against my lip. I slowly opened my mouth letting him gain entrance. As the kiss grew more intense his hands started exploring my body until he bent forward and grabbed my calf, instantly I wrapped my legs around his waist. His hand immediately shot to my ass grabbing it. I smirked and let out a low groan and pulled back, biting his lip._

_We pulled away for air and he started exploring, licking and sucking on my nec-_

"Mama."

_Dammit._

"Mama."

_Maybe if I ignore her she'll go away._

A shove this time, "Mama."

_God dammit. _

I slowly opened my eye and I couldn't help but smile at the sight in front of me, my beautiful daughter Carly was perched on top of my lap.

I immediately covered my face knowing that it was probably flushed. I had _these_ kind of dreams at least three times a week.

"Mornin' baby girl." I pulled her towards me and she curled up on my chest, I closed my eyes as I ran my hands through her gorgeous tresses.

Carly Rose Swan, to put it simply, she was my everything. She kept me sane, she kept me happy and I knew that this tiny little girl loved me and I loved her with every ounce of love I held in me. She is the sweetest, smartest 3 year old out there. She had Edward's bronze hair, and his vibrant green eyes with tiny flecks of brown in them.

In other words: She was perfect.

Each day with her was treasured and I didn't let a minute go by without letting her know how much I loved her.

She was my little reminder of Edward.

The past years have really taken a toll on Edward and I. We've been through a lot, we still spoke a handful of times a week, on the phone, or video chat. But it pretty much always ended badly.

He wanted me to go live in California with him, but for obvious reasons, I couldn't.

I built my life in Forks without him, I ran my own business, and I had Carly to consider. I wasn't going to uproot her life just for my need to be with him.

Of course, Edward didn't know about Carly; that would've opened up another can of worms. He believed that another man was holding me back- _as if._

Throughout my entire pregnancy we barely spoke. I was moody and scared and I couldn't control my temper with him. I was angry when he _finally _called after not calling for five months, when I knew damn well that he had a perfectly good phone.

To put it simply:  
He gave up on us.

_*  
Five Months into the pregnancy. _

_I was pissed, beyond pissed. Actually, there wasn't a word to describe my anger towards Edward. It was mid-October: five fucking months have passed, and not to mention, my birthday. But did I ever get a phone call from Edward? No._

_I was moody, angry and just plain old bitchy. Being labeled the town's whore was not fun either. Edward was the only thing that could make me happy right now, besides the little peanut in my belly. With one call Edward could've changed my world. Clearly he wasn't coming home. But he could've called me and said "Hey yeah, I found someone better. See you around." Yes, it would've hurt but I deserved an explanation. He promised me, he promised me a phone call._

_I was grumpy as hell; it was cold out and my knee always hurt in the cold and only Edward knew the right way to rub it to make it feel better. _

_I pulled my scarf around me tighter and continued to grumble as I waddled over to my truck and drove over to the Cullen's house for my weekly bonding time with Esme._

_I parked my truck and walked up to the Cullen's door, I glanced down at my stomach, which now had a very visible baby bump, clearly indicating that I was pregnant. I hesitantly knocked the door and to my surprise Carlisle opened the door._

"_Oh, hey Mr. C is Esme here? If not I could come back tomorrow?" I asked knowing that Carlisle was not my biggest fan. But the Cullen's along with Rose and Em were the only people who knew that I was pregnant with Edward's baby. My dad was suspicious about it, but Charlie wasn't the type to confront me about it, he'd rather not know all the details. _

_The town however, was another story. I told Jessica Stanley that I was at a party trying to 'drown out my sorrows' and it just happened. Just like I expected, the news spread throughout the town like wildfire and I was labeled the town whore, yippee. _

_Sadly for them, I didn't care what they thought about me. So their little comments and whispers did nothing for me. I was defending Edward. Also, I didn't know if he wanted to be a teen dad to begin with, so why stress that? I knew he wanted to have kids eventually but I didn't know his thoughts on teenage parenthood._

"_No Bella, come on in. Edward finally called; can you believe it? Esme is talking to him now." He beamed at me and I felt bad, Edward did a real shitty thing not calling his parents. The people who were paying for his apartment in L.A. it was just rude and I knew he was raised better than that. _

" _Bella!" I heard Esme's voice call out from upstairs, I made my way to her room and I smiled at the sight of Esme sitting on the edge of her bed grasping the phone for dear life with tears in her eyes._

_Why didn't she just go to L.A. to make sure Edward was okay? She believed that it was his time to grow and he would call when he was ready, or some bullshit like that._

"_Yeah, she's here. Okay hold on." She covered the receiver with her hand and passed it to me._

"_Bella he wants to speak to you. I'll give you your privacy; call me when you're done." She smiled as I grabbed the phone with shaking hands._

"_Did you tell him?" I whispered frantically and was instantly reassured when she shook her head no. She quickly exited her room and I cleared my throat._

"_Hello?" I winced at how shaky my voice sounded._

"_Bella." His musical voice sighed in relief?_

_I swear; it was the hormones that peanut was producing:  
I snapped;  
I was furious._

"_Are you serious? Is this really happening? What caused you to grace us with your voice after five months of silence Edward?" I said as my hand made gestures, even if he couldn't see me._

_I heard a deep sigh and a door close, "Bella, don't do this."_

_I began pacing around the room, my hand resting on my stomach. "Don't do what Edward? Oh wait, I'm sorry, do I not have permission to be angry? You left Edward, you left me. I had no problem with you following your dreams. But I thought we were going to chase them together. You could've called, but you chose not to. Your silence spoke volumes about your feelings towards me. But you were probably busy sucking face with some blonde whore to waste a minute calling your small town girlfriend who sat at home pining for you? That's not fair Edward and you know it."_

"_How do I know that you're not sucking some guy off at home? I've been busy! I landed the role that I wanted; you should be happy for me. I'm finally something; I'm out of Forks. Its what we wanted all along, yeah I went about it wrong, but I had to do what was needed. I wanted to make you proud Bella." _

_He was angry, of that much I was sure. His anger only made mine intensify he had no right to accuse me of cheating while I sat here with his baby in me, and was being ridiculed everyday for it. "Okay, I'm going to skip over your first comment Edward Anthony because you know damn well that you're the only person that I want—wanted. And this isn't what we wanted; this is all you Edward. Own up to your selfishness Edward. You know what? I'm sick of this, I'm sick about worrying about you, I'm not proud of you at all. I'm far from that, disappointed, heart broken. Yeah, I'm all those things. Not calling me is one thing, but not calling your mom is something else. What did she do to you Edward? She's been going crazy with worry about you, but no! Mr. California is apparently too busy to call his own fucking mother. How could it be that after five months you've changed so much? I barely recognize your voice Edward; that's horrible. You know what? Just, just don't call me; it makes things worse. Don't worry about me; if it involves me, just don't. But do me a favor; please call your mother at least once a week. I love you Edward, God knows I do, but this is just wrong. When you're the Edward I know you can call me back."_

_I was tired; I just wanted to be done with this._

_I heard a deep growl and something crash, "Bella, don't do this, I'm doing this all for you." I was amazed that he actually believed himself._

"_I'm not doing anything Edward, I didn't say we were done, I just need space. I never asked you to go to California, that was for you; don't lie. Call me back when you get your shit straight." I was hoping and praying that he would hop on a plane and just cuddle with me. Yeah it was selfish, but I needed him._

"_Bells, all I ever wanted to do was make you happy."_

"_Well baby, the intention was there, but it didn't work correctly. I'll talk to you . . . whenever I guess."_

_The second I heard the dial tone I started crying; I was a mess, I barely recognized the voice of my baby's father and he never once said he was sorry for leaving, and he never said he was coming back. He didn't say anything that I wanted to hear._

_I heard the door open and soft footsteps, I was pulled into a hug and I sobbed into Esme's shoulder. "Shhh, Bella its okay, we miss him too." Her soothing tone didn't help calm me down like it used to when I was a baby._

"_He doesn't love me Esme, he's not coming back." I whispered through my sobs._

"_He loves you Bella, and you know it. Stop crying, that cant be healthy for the baby." I smiled through my tears; Esme was the most loving person I knew._

"_Esme is it okay if I take a nap? I'm tired." I rubbed my stomach and I was instantly calm._

"_Sure sweetie, go on up to Edward's room. I'll call Charlie and let him know your staying the night."_

_I knew Charlie wouldn't mind, I was already pregnant, what other shenanigans could I pull? I walked into Edward's room and collapsed onto his bed. His pillow faintly smelled like him, the mouthwatering smell that only Edward had. I laid in Edward Cullen's bed; the bed that we conceived our baby in; and it was the only place I truly felt at home.  
*_

I groaned as I stretched my muscles, glancing at the clock I started to get up; it was eight thirty, time to get Carly ready; she was spending the day with her grandparents.

I was grateful for Esme, throughout the pregnancy Esme was my backbone, she answered every question that I had, and she reassured me when I was having anxiety attacks. She was the mother that I needed, since apparently I wasn't good enough for my own. Esme was there holding my hand, or hair whenever I needed her. She was right by my side in the delivery room, alongside my best friend, good old Jacob Black.

I nudged Carly slightly when I realized she was beginning to doze off again. "Carly baby! Wake up, you're spending the day with Grandma!" She shrieked; she adored Esme. Carly shot out of bed and ran to her room, tripping over air. She might've inherited Edward's good looks, but she got my clumsy gene, poor kid.

I stood up and opened the drawer of my bedside table; I grabbed the picture and ran my finger over it. The picture was of Edward and I at prom. Although I was forced to go I had a good time. The picture was a candid shot of us, I was walking ahead of him, my head turned towards him, I had a smirk on my face and my arm was extended, he had his crooked grin and he was reaching for me.

I glanced down at the picture, kissed my fingertips and placed them on Edward's side of the picture, "Morning baby." I said and quickly stored the photograph away.

I got dressed in a pair of loose jeans and one of Jake's old football t-shirts that he left when he slept over. I went into Carly's room and found her biting her lip and looking at her fully stocked closet; Between Esme, Carlisle, Charlie, Emmett, Rosalie, Jacob and I, Carly had everything she wanted.

"Mama, help me pick out dress please." She asked sweetly and I melted a bit each time she called me 'Mama'. It always made my heart swell with pride. Her smile was my favorite smile in the world; she had the cutest dimples. I nodded at her and grabbed a blue dress of the rack, the only similarity we had was skin color, everything else was all Edward. I handed her the dress knowing it would go well with her pale complexion. I stood on the side as I watched her get dressed, for a three year old she was very independent. She dressed herself, only asking for help occasionally and she ate by herself, she also attempted to do her own hair.

She was my entire life. Edward once was, but that didn't matter to him.

I gave Carly a light breakfast knowing that Esme would spoil her with sweets once she got there, I grabbed her toy bag that was full of DVD'S, dolls, and everything else a three year old could possibly need. I grabbed my car keys and picked Carly up. She loved being held, and I loved having her in my arms. She also loved kisses, which was great since I adored being affectionate with her. I locked the house door and placed Carly in her pink car seat in my Lexus SUV, a gift from Charlie. He bought me the car when he decided my truck was suitable for his granddaughter. Apparently a princess didn't deserve to be carried in a dinosaur of a car, his words; not mine.

I was always an independent person; sure I depended on Edward for love. But everything else was all me, it was hard accepting Charlie's and the Cullen's money but I had to swallow my pride and do it. Carly depended on me and I never wanted her to not have something she needed. During the pregnancy Carlisle and Esme bought me a house on the outskirts of town, where it was peaceful. It was a large house, 5 bedrooms, after a lot of arguing I accepted it. Whenever Carly was mentioned I instantly agreed.

By no means did I mooch off of Esme or my dad. I currently ran my own business, and took classes online to get my master's in business administration. I only looked towards Esme and Charlie when I desperately needed help, and we made payment plans and everything. I was slowly but surely becoming who I wanted to be.

I pulled into the Cullen's driveway and parked. Carly instantly started bouncing around. I got her down and out of the cay and grabbed her things and we made our way to the front door where I opened in with my key. Esme was in the kitchen and she smiled and opened her arms to Carly when she danced into the room. She picked Carly up and placed her on the counter where she watched Esme with eager eyes as she made batter for chocolate chip cookies.

I grabbed one of the stools that was under the island and sat down. "Morning Esme."

"Bella! You look exhausted. Carly have you been keeping mommy up?" Esme asked as she started to tickle her, like clockwork Carly's beautiful laughter filled the room.

"No. Nana! I gotta tell you secret!" She started giggling and Esme raised an eyebrow at me and I shrugged.

"Well what is it baby?" Esme asked, playing along.

"Mommy was watching the movies last night and she cried." She whispered, but I clearly heard her. I started blushing and looked away from Carly's pouting face.

"Isabella, is she right?" I groaned internally at Esme's 'mom' voice. I felt like a kid all over again.

"Esme, you know kids! Well . . . Yeah, I better get going, Jake's at the store by himself. So bye baby girl." I stuttered and quickly grabbed my things, kissing Carly and quickly making my way out of the room.

Just as my hand reached the doorknob Esme called out, "Bella, wait!" I sighed and hit my head against the door, why now? I heard Esme whisper to Carly, "Go wake up Papa, he's still sleeping." I heard Carly dash out of the room; she loved waking people up.

Esme walked into the room and handed me a cup of tea, "Bella, you can't keep doing that to yourself."

I sighed, "I know. But it's the only way I can see him. I miss him, so much. I feel empty sometimes, and Carly fills that space but I need someone to take care of me, I'm happy most of the time but I feel like I'm nothing without him." I quickly reached up to stop the tears from flowing out of my eyes.

Esme sighed and pulled me into a hug, "Bella, things will change soon. I feel it; he's lonely too." I snorted, because lets be honest Edward was _never_ lonely. I've seen the magazine covers with him and a new girl every week.

"Don't snort at me missy, he loves you and you know it. He's just trying to get a handle of his situation. You know he calls me every week to ask about you? If he didn't love you he wouldn't do that. And during the pregnancy when you stubbornly refused to speak to him he called everyday begging for any information on you. You were the only thing he would go on about, 'Bella would love Cali mom, I really want her here.'" I laughed at Esme's interpretation of Edward's voice.

I pulled Esme in for another hug. "Thanks Esme, we get to talk tonight, so maybe seeing him will help me. I really have to get going now, thanks for taking care of Carly today." I gave her another quick hug and shouted out a goodbye to Carly. I opened the door and made my way to the car, making my way to The Hideout. It was the only bookstore/music store in Forks—and it was mine.

It was the only thing I could honestly say I worked hard for and that I'm proud of, besides Carly.

However, each time I entered the store a tiny shock of pain struck my heart.

_*  
Edward held my hand tightly as we walked through the town; we came across a broken abandoned house that no one has ever lived in. He stopped suddenly and gazed at the house with a calculating expression on his face._

_I nudged him, "What's up?"_

"_Bella, one day I'm going to buy you that house."_

_I glanced up at it, taking in the boarded up windows, the broken porch. "Why would you do that? It's a pile of crap."_

"_Because, I'll fix it up for you and you can have your bookstore on the first floor, and on the second I'll have my music store."_

_I started laughing, "You're ridiculous."_

_He pulled me towards the front door of the house and pushed me against it, his hands on either side of my head. "What's so funny Isabella?" His breath was fanning across my face, his intoxicating scent was already making me dizzy._

_Shit, what was funny? I couldn't remember. _

"_It's . . . It's just nice that your planning out our life." And it was, because we were only in high school, me a freshman, him a sophomore. He had plans for us and it was absolutely adorable._

_He flashed me his crooked smile and his face came even closer. His eyes constantly looking at my lips. I licked my lips in anticipation; I wanted him to kiss me already. _

"_Bell, of course I'm planning our life, don't you know that I plan on marrying you one day. And we'll own this house if you want. Hell you can have anything you want." Before I could respond his lips crashed down on mine, leaving us in a breathtaking kiss._

_He pulled away from me and I groaned, he laughed softly, his breath tickling my cheek. He glanced back up at the house, "Don't you think it has potential?" He asked._

_I glanced down at our intertwined hands, then back at his beaming face. "Yeah baby, it has a lot of potential."_

_Then it was me who pulled him into a kiss.  
*_

Obviously he didn't keep his promise. But since he told me that, seven years ago, the idea was implanted in my mind and I wanted it. I started working to save up the money and with the help of Esme we both bought it. And now I was saving up to buy her half. Getting a loan with Charlie helped in effectively opening the business.

Besides Carly this was the only thing that made me feel close to Edward.

I opened up the door and was greeted by a smiling Jacob. "Hey Jake!" There was something about Jacob Black that always made me smile. He is an amazing guy; he's my very best friend. He was there for me when Edward wasn't and he was there for me when I needed help but didn't want to admit it. He was the assistant manager of the store.

"Hey Bells." He kicked a box that was lying on the floor, "We got the new magazines in, it's your turn to set them up." His smug smile made me want to punch him. Both of us hated having to organize the magazines, it took a long time to get them set up properly so they wouldn't look so cluttered and then customers always moved them out of place. It was tedious and annoying. So Jake and I agreed on taking turns.

I huffed and set my bag down behind the counter and grabbed the box cutter and dragged the box to the area that was designated for magazines. I carefully cut open the box; I did not need to revisit the hospital anytime soon, and began placing the magazines down carefully. Eventually I came across the gossip magazines and of course Edward graced the covers.

People had an entire spread on him, I flipped through the pages and saw pictures of Edward and a stunning strawberry blonde, on a beach making out, some of the pictures were a bit dirty, such as him grabbing her ass. Those were always my favorites. The title of this article was "Edward Cullen & Tanya Denali's romantic beach getaway; are things getting serious between them?"

I quickly began skimming through the article, even though it hurt to see him be so intimate with another person I had to see these magazines, I had to read each article. I was seeing a glimpse into his new life and even though it stung like hell, I pushed passed it. This article had a wide variety of pictures such as Edward shirtless, and Tanya in a skimpy bikini- _classy._ Oh, the pictures just keep getting better! Now they're rolling around on the sand making out. _Fucking adorable._

Although the article mostly consisted of pictures it did have some very interesting information on Edward. Apparently the two co-stars decided a romantic getaway was deserved after finishing the filming of their new movie.

Of course, Edward could've used this time to come to Forks like every other time he had days off, but he chose not to.

I sighed and grabbed a copy of the magazine and placed it near my purse to remind myself to take it home. As painful as it was, every cover that he graced I kept. I was very proud of Edward in terms of his career, he made it to the top quickly and he remained there. His life choices however, I did not approve of. But each magazine I had stored reminded me of his dream and I couldn't not keep them.

When Jake saw me set down the magazine he let out a loud sigh, "Bell, you have to stop this." He gestured to the magazine, "He doesn't deserve you; he doesn't deserve to be Carly's father either. He's a waste of time, you guys never broke up right?"

He did have a point there, neither Edward or I ever uttered the words 'it's over', and Edward continued to flirt with me at every given chance. I assumed that things were over, I took his refusal to come home as a sign. But each flirtatious smile sent my way, or each time he called me 'baby' a little piece of hope grew inside me; hope that he would come back.

-*-  
After closing up the store I drove to meet up with Rosalie and Emmett for dinner at the house they shared. I was blessed to have these two people in my life; they were there for me for everything: every craving, every tear, they were always there.

I would forever be indebted to them.

I was lucky to say that I got to see this couple's love grow and blossom. They were the definition of perfect. Em and Rose started dating a year before Edward and I, Rose was in the eighth grade and Em was in the ninth.

I have very specific memories of a young Emmett chasing Rosalie around the playground in elementary school begging her for a kiss. Of course, Rose with her charming personality turned around and punched him in the face. When he proceeded to cry she finally caved and kissed him and held his hand and brought him to the nurse. After that, they were pretty much inseparable.

Em was working up the nerve to ask Rose to marry him; of course she was going to say yes, but he wanted it to be perfect.

We lived in the same neighborhood; I was probably about a 10-minute drive away from them. And they both worked at an auto shop in Port Angeles. The owner was retiring and they were currently undergoing the process of buying and remodeling the place.

I parked in front of their quaint two-story house and was greeted by both of them at the door, I kissed them both on the cheek and we settled in the dinning room.

"Hey guys! Look what came into work today." I slammed the magazine onto the table with false enthusiasm.

Rose quickly grabbed the magazine and looked over the article, when she was done she passed it to Em and she looked over to me with worry in her eyes. I shook my head at her and plastered on my fake smile, I was good at delivering those now a days. Em finished and slammed the magazine back down onto the table; he was absolutely livid.

I honestly feared for Edward's life if he chooses to come home. Emmett used to be his best friend, but Edward's lack of communication hurt Em real bad. Emmett might appear to be a big guy but Edward's lack of contact hit his heart.

Also, Em's mad at Edward for leaving me; apparently the two promised the other in the second grade that they would marry us and we would all live in the same house.

Another broken promise.

Em grabbed the magazine again and began inspecting each picture, "Why is Cullen such a douche bag?" He muttered to himself and threw the magazine back down.

I placed my hand on his bicep, "Hey Em, don't worry about it. It's okay."

I didn't know if I was trying to convince him, or myself.

Em stood up with a roar, "No Bella, it's not okay! He fucking has your heart and he never gave it back. He goes around sleeping with all these whores, and each magazine cover is a slap in the face. It's disrespectful and completely unfair. I bet you haven't had sex since you conceived Carly! He's dirt Bella, he's not worthy of you."

I nodded my head at him, he was too angry to even hear my words. I agreed with him, it wasn't fair to me; he was going around having sex with God knows who and I haven't been with anyone since.

Needing a distraction, Rosalie brought out the food; Alfredo pasta with chicken. I served Emmett and passed him his plate and he grumbled his thanks, clearly still angry. We ate silently, and I made a quick exit after helping Rosalie with the dishes.

It was a long day and I wanted to see my baby.

I let myself into the house, "Hello?" I called out.

Esme entered the room and placed Carly's bag by the door, "Bella, Carly's sleeping in Edward's room, she's completely exhausted, we took her to Port Angeles today to see the new penguin exhibit at the zoo. I guess the excitement got to her. The second we ate dinner she dashed up to his room, I swear I do not know why she insists on sleeping in that bed."

I blushed at her comment; although Carly had her own room here she somehow almost always ended up falling asleep in Edward's bed.

I walked up the stairs and into his room and I watched her sleep for a couple of minutes. The way her lips pouted and how her hands were tucked under her head- she was an angel.

I picked her up and she snuggled into me and continued to sleep, another thing she got from Edward: she was a hard sleeper. The house would be able to fall down and she would sleep though it.

I said a quick goodbye to Esme and Carlisle and placed Carly in her car seat and drove us home. _Another day down._

I glanced at Carly and smiled, she was out like a light. I quickly glanced at the clock: 9:30 _crap._

I had fifteen minutes to change and get Carly tucked in. Pulling into the house I left her bag in the car an gently removed her from her car seat and began my ascent up the stairs, being extremely careful to ensure that I did not trip with her in my arms. I placed her on her bed and changed her into her princess pajamas that Em bought her.

Once she was all changed I tucked her in and kissed her forehead. She snuggled into the bed further and reached for her teddy bear, she was adorable.

I glanced at the clock: 9:40, I ran to my room and changed my clothing and took off my contacts and placed my glasses on, I stood in front of the mirror and fixed my hair. I huffed in embarrassment, he was so far away and I still tried to impress him.

Once it was time I turned on my computer and accepted his video invite and I took a seat in the living room.

The screen focused and I sighed in relief the second I saw his face.

"Hey baby." He smiled his crooked smile and I knew he wanted something.

Trying to get his smile out of my mind I thought of the pictures, now that made me only angrier. "Edward." I desperately tired to keep my voice neutral. _I did not need to fight with him tonight. _

"So, have you decided when you're going to grace me with your presence her in sunny Cali?" He asked as he flipped through a magazine.

I let out a sigh and he rose his eyebrow at me, "Edward, I had a long day; please don't do this to me." I ran my hand through my hair- a mannerism I picked up from him.

"Bella, come on! I want you here, you want me; what's the problem?" He said with a smidge of cockiness.

_Looks like cocky Edward was going to come out to play tonight._

I hated him.

Trying to distract him from asking me I flipped my hair and stuck my nose in the air, trying to achieve my inner snob, "Who said I want you?"

"Bella, I know you want me, do you remember what happened before I left? What happened in my bedroom?" He asked as I blushed, of course I remembered; we conceived Carly.

"Edward, please. We had sex, and lots of it. We've had sex before, that wasn't the only time. No big deal. Please be mature."

"Hell yeah it was a lot of sex, and it was fucking amazing, tell me you don't want to relive that time? How many times did you moan out my name that night? I lost count after seventy."

He smug tone set me off. "Edward, you've fucked plenty of girls since then, have one of those girls."

"Bella, you know those girls can never amount to you." His voice was smooth- convincing. I knew this was a game he liked to play.

"No."

"I can make it worth while." I sighed; of course he had sex on the brain.

"Edward, let's get this straight, I will not have sex with you, not now, not ever. Things have changed."

His eyes flashed in anger, "That's not what you said in high school, you fucking begged for it. I know you want this- us. You still wear my ring."

I rolled my eyes and scoffed, "Who said it was yours?"

"Bella why do you have to make things so goddamn complicated? That's enough! Why does everything have to be a fight with you? Just fucking hop on a plane and come here and get in my bed."

He didn't get it, if I went it would literally kill me. To see what he left me for, what he left Carly for would completely shatter me. I might've caught glimpses of his current life, but I did not want it spread out in front of me so clearly. I just couldn't.

And what if I did go? We would have flashbacks of our time together and then I would yearn to be with him again, and if I told him about Carly? I didn't know the new Edward- the movie star. What if he didn't want a family?

My daughter's and my heart were way to fragile to risk chancing it.

Speaking of Carly, the door to the living room was pushed open and she walked towards me slowly, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

I adjusted the camera so Edward wouldn't see her and I turned to her, "Hey love, what's the matter?" I asked, taking in the tears forming in her eyes.

She pouted and took a deep breath, no doubt trying to contain her tears, she wanted to be a big girl so bad, "Nightmare."

"Baby, go back to my room, and I'll be there in a second." I watched her walk out the room, and I glanced back at laptop and saw Edward whose eyes held a strange emotion I couldn't identify.

"You calling other guys love now?" His question held pure anger.

"Edward, I really don't have the time for this, I have to go . . . like now. And by the way, the slut that has been standing behind you in the skimpy ass lingerie looks like she wants to visit your bedroom again. You don't miss me Edward, don't you dare play that card, and stop playing games with me." I pointed to the screen, gesturing to the girl who stood behind him in next to nothing.

I shut off the computer in a hurry; I was done with him tonight. I put everything away and double-checked that all doors were locked and I dashed up the stairs, desperate to get to my baby girl.

She was sitting in the middle of the bed, sucking her thumb and grasping onto her teddy bear. The second I got under the covers she joined me and snuggled into me. I began running my hands through her hair in attempt to calm her.

After a few minutes of silence I decided to ask her, "Baby, what was your nightmare about?" I knew this would be interesting, she had such a creative mind; I loved hearing about her dreams, they went from being in a castle, to driving a magic bus.

"Mama, there was a monster chasing me, and I didn't have a puppy to help me." She pouted and turned her smile towards me, "Mama, buy me puppy please?" She pouted again and batted her eyelashes and I sighed in resignation.

"Sure baby girl, I will.

She instantly calmed down and kissed my cheek and snuggled up against me again.

This moment was perfect; the only thing missing was Edward.

And I didn't know if he would ever be there for her.  
-*-

**

* * *

**

**Q/A: What's one dream that you would never give up on?**


	3. Chapter 2: Harsh words and endings

**Disclaimer- SM owns all things Twilight, lucky bitch.**

_***  
**_How can I decide what's right,  
when you're clouding up my mind.  
I can't win your losing fight all the time.  
- Paramore_  
*_

**Chapter 2****: ****Harsh words and endings****.**

_I glanced at myself in the mirror again and I couldn't hold back the smile I had as I gazed down at my white dress. Charlie's voice broke me out of my thoughts, "Are you sure about this Bella?" He asked me this about a million times today, I watched as he fumbled with his tie and I pushed his hands aside and tied the knot for him; it was obvious that he felt uncomfortable wearing a tux._

_I gazed back down at my wedding dress and engagement ring, and I knew, "Yeah dad, he's the one." You couldn't question the sincerity behind my voice; Charlie nodded just as the wedding march began to play._

"_Come on Bells, we're up to bat." He gently grabbed my arm and led me to the church, where my other half was waiting. _

_Walking down the aisle I saw Carly sitting down with Esme by her side, she was wearing a dark blue dress with white flowers in each of her pigtails. But the most prominent thing she was wearing was her smile._

_When I reached the end of the aisle it was as if the world stopped, I didn't hear the exchange between Charlie and Edward, and I didn't hear a thing that the priest said, all I could see were Edward's gorgeous emerald eyes that were gazing down at me with so many emotions: happiness, love, relief and excitement. _

_Suddenly Edward smiled brightly at me and nudged me and I caught the end of the priest's words, "Isabella Swan, do you take Edward Cullen as your husband?" The priest asked, I starred back at Edward; the answer was obvious, it was Edward and I till the end of time._

"_I do." As I finished my sentence Edward squeezed my hand and I could feel the excitement he was reigning in. _

"_Edward Cullen, do you take Isabella Swan as your wife?" I bit my lip and Edward looked down at me and smiled. He opened his mouth to respond but instead of hearing his silky voice, the room was suddenly filled with a loud shrill ring. I glanced around the church trying to see whose phone the ringing belonged to and suddenly I felt something poking me on my side._

"Mama."

_Damn it all to hell._

The ringing again.

_Where was that obnoxious buzzing coming from?_

"Mama, phone." I heard Carly grumble from my side. I slowly opened my eyes and sighed; of course it was another dream. I rubbed my eyes and looked down and saw Carly already fast asleep. I starred down at her wishing I could fall back asleep just like her, but I could never fall back asleep after being woken up. I grabbed my phone off the bedside table wondering who on earth would be calling me this early.

When I opened up the phone and saw who it was I sighed deeply.

A text message, from Edward.

This meant he wanted to start a fight with me.

It was too early to be fighting.

_**To: Isabella  
From: Edward.**_

_**Did you have fun with your 'love' after our video chat last night?**_

I sat back down on the bed and gripped my hair in my hands; this is not how I wanted to start my morning off.

_**To: Edward.  
From: Bella.**_

_**Yes Edward, I had a swell time last night. How about you, did you enjoy yourself with the Hollywood skank?**_

One of the benefits of knowing someone your entire life would be knowing which buttons to push to aggravate them. I knew my respond to Edward's text would make him angry. Well . . . I knew my reply would make the old Edward angry, I wasn't so sure about the new Edward.

I heard my phone chime again and I saw that Edward sent me a picture message, great. With a deep sigh my finger hovered over the 'open' button and when I finally pushed down on it the image it showed me instantly made me regret my decision. It was him, and the girl from last night, the one from the pictures: _Tanya. _They were in bed, making out; that wasn't what bothered me. What bothered me was that Edward was on her and his one hand gripped her hips tightly. I remembered when he did that to me. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, and they were both naked.

What happened after this picture was taken is what bothered me; anyone could of guessed what happened. And I wasn't stupid.

To be honest, I didn't know how much more of this I could take. He kept throwing stuff at me; and each day it grew worse. I tried so hard to act like I'm not affected by his hookups, but honestly how could I not be? I always tried to keep this wall up between us and he always found a way to knock it down.

It wasn't fair; I was here raising his _kid_ and getting hell for it and he ran around California without a care in the world.

I couldn't help but think about him, what he was doing, who he was with. I got a lot of crap from Rose and Em for it too. They wanted me to move on. But I couldn't. I didn't want to date other people. Edward had my heart.

On some occasions I would contemplate telling him about Carly, but then he would do something like this and it would remind me why I shouldn't tell him. I was doing the right thing for Carly. Let's say I did tell him, and Carly saw one of the pictures of him with Tanya, or any other slut. What would I say to her? _"Sorry Sweetie, your daddy would rather fuck random girls with STD'S then play Barbie's with you."_

Hell fucking no.

Edward could rip my heart in two, but it was something completely different when my sunshine's happiness was involved.

After a couple of minutes I gathered up the strength to reply to him.

_**To: Jerk.  
From: Bella.**_

_**That's nice; catch any STD'S yet? I wouldn't be surprised.**_

I knew I was buying time with that response. In the mean time I started getting ready, I opened up my closet and grabbed the first thing within arm's reach, sweat pants and a white v-neck, I was going the comfortable route today. I knew that after this conversation with Edward I would be drained. I skipped the morning ritual of kissing the picture because he woke up wanting to be an ass today. I walked around the house picking up a few of Carly's toys and returning them to their designated spots. I also went to her room to collect her dirty clothes so I could start a load of laundry. Once I started that I walked back into the den and began straightening things up a bit. Today was what Carly would call "Uncle Jake days". She would come to the store with me and act as our little helper, once she was bored of that Jake would keep her entertained. After we finished working we would come home and have dinner and Jake would sleep over.

Jacob's sleepovers would be considered romantic, but we both didn't see it that way. He understood that I needed time and he also understood that I had my own needs. Sometimes a girl just needs to be held, and he was there for me. We might've shared kisses but once again, sometimes a girl just needs to feel wanted. We never took it further than that; we both drew out very specific lines as to what was okay and what was not okay. Kissing and cuddling were allowed, clothes always had to be on, and no touching under the waist. I was not ready for casual sex, the last person I freely gave myself to was Edward and we all knew how hurt I was from that.

Jacob understood that because he could sense my moods like they were his own. He knew that sometimes I couldn't articulate my thoughts correctly and the only way I could voice my thoughts were by kissing and he would instantly understand.

Jake was very respectful, he never tried to push or pressure me into things. Our relationship/friendship was great. Edward and Jake's however . . . To say they both hated each other was an under statement.

My phone going off again tore me away from my musings and I nearly had tears in my eyes; he wouldn't stop until every piece of me was broken.

_**To: Bella.  
From: Edward.**_

_**No I didn't catch any STD'S yet. Last I heard you were still the town's whore huh? So you should really get your shit checked out. Thanks for concern babe; last night was amazing so much better than you.**_

His response really didn't offend me. Only the part about being the town's whore did. Most of the town still hated me for having a baby out of wedlock. It didn't offend me because I understood why they were mad, they saw me grow up and they thought I was dumping my dreams down the drain. The town was still so tiny and they all still talked about it, I wasn't really accepted anywhere, all the other mom's that were older than me never spoke to me. But I was okay; I had my friends.

I did however have to stifle a laugh at his last comment. He knew that no one could please him like I did. His late night fucks with celebrities couldn't compare to what we had, the love we shared.

_**To: Assface.  
From: Bella.**_

_**Really Edward? Could you finally get hard? I remember you used to have trouble with that. :)**_

I was proud of my response. Knowing Edward, he wouldn't have a response for that. He might be Mr. Hollywood but I knew deep deep _deep _down behind the fame and past all the bullshit, I knew my Edward was there. My best friend. The one who would go out of his way to make me happy. The one who would jump at the chance to get me something I wanted. The Edward who could make me smile; and loved to make me blush. My Edward, who was insanely jealous and loved when I played with his hair.

I could sit here all day and speak about the old Edward, and how amazing he was, how he would make ridiculous promises and always keep them.

_And deep down I was beyond terrified that 'My Edward' was gone and never coming back._

I walked back into my room and starred down at my sleeping princess. I slowly crept up to the bed and began to attack her with kisses and tickles. She woke up with the brightest smile on her face.

Another thing I loved about her: she could be dead tired, but she _always_ woke up with a smile on her face.

She was hardly ever grouchy and she was always calm.

"Great morning Mama!" She beamed at me and I let out a laugh. She always insisted on saying 'Great Morning' because she thought her days were better than good. Occasionally she would forget to say it, but most of the time she remembered.

"Morning baby girl, what day is it today?" I asked as I helped her off the bed.

She bit her lip in concentration and then broke out in a smile so wide I was almost concerned. "It's Uncle Jake day!" She sang and began to jump around. I quickly scooped her up before she had the chance to fall.

"Go get ready and brush your teeth, then we can go see Uncle Jake." She dashed out of the bedroom and I took this time to glance at the mirror. I looked different—older. I was only 20 years old; I should be looking as young as Rose, but having Carly forced me to grow up. You could see the bags under my eyes, from many sleepless nights. My hair wasn't as shiny as it was before, but the one thing that shocked me to the core was the overwhelming amount of loneliness lurking behind my eyes. I hardly had time to look at myself in the mirror, could people really see my loneliness, or was it just me?

I hoped they couldn't, the last thing I needed was someone setting me up on a blind date to cure my loneliness.

I sighed and took another long glance at the mirror and grabbed my bags and made my way towards the door. I heard Carly fumbling around upstairs and I went to the kitchen to fill up her Dora the Explorer sippy cup with apple juice. Usually I would make Carly breakfast but on 'Uncle Jake days' he would always bring her something from the bakery near The Hideout. I found it very sweet of him; he didn't need to help me.

Originally, upon graduating Jacob's plans were to move to New York to study photography, but when I told him I was pregnant he dropped his plans to help me, which caused a lot of arguments. I didn't want him to give up his life for me, but he said it was his "duty" as my best friend to take care of me.

The day I told Jacob I was pregnant I had knots in my stomach, I was more afraid of his reaction then of my parents. I didn't want him to be disappointed in me.

_*  
I hopped out of my truck and took a deep breath; I had to do this, I've been avoiding him for too long, he knew something was up._

_I was so nervous I felt like at any given moment I would throw up, which I really didn't want to happen. I began walking down First beach searching for Jacob. I finally saw him sitting at 'our' tree and I walked over and took notice that his eyes were full of worry. When I reached him he stood up and pulled me into a comforting hug._

"_Bell, what's up? You've been dodging my phone calls all week. Did I do something wrong?" Instantly, my eyes starting tearing up at the worry in his voice._

"_Shit I'm sorry Jake, I didn't mean to make you worry." _

_He pulled me down and I sat in the sand making patterns with a small piece of driftwood, "B, just tell me what's the matter, you sounded scared on the phone?"_

_I couldn't fight the tears that were welling up, I hastily wiped them away and decided I should just be upfront with him and tell him._

"_Jake, I don't know how to say this, I know you're going to hate me after this but you have to know. The reason I've been avoiding your phone calls is because I'm pregnant." I whispered the last part in hopes that he wouldn't hear me, but of course he did._

_His eyes were void of emotion, which scared me even more. "Jake? Please say something, please don't hate me." I gripped his shirt in my hand willing him to just say something._

"_Is it. . . Is it his?" There was definitely anger in his voice, but I didn't know whom it was directed towards._

_I nodded my head, afraid to answer verbally in fear of what he might say. This conversation was nerve racking and he wasn't even the father._

_I watched him pick up a pebble and throw it across the ocean; it skidded three times before finally settling into the water. "So what? He just knocked you up and left?" I saw his hands clench into fists and I gently grabbed them in my hands and rubbed them until he relaxed._

"_No Jake! Of course not, he was leaving, and things got carried away . . . It just happened." I trailed off with a blush._

_My eyes were pleading with his not to hate me, I couldn't deal with him hating me._

"_Does he know?" I let out a tiny sigh of relief that the anger from his voice was gone._

"_No, and I don't plan on telling him either. Only you, Rose and Emmett know."_

_He pursed his lips in thought and after an excruciating amount of silence his eyes lit up, "Guess I'm sticking around Forks then. I better at least get the title Uncle." _

_My mouth dropped open in shock, "What? No! You can't do that! Jake, I appreciate the thought but you have to go to New York. Please." I begged._

_My damn hormones were messing with me and I let out a sob. _

_Jacob came over to me and wrapped his arm around me, " Bella, I care about you and now I care about this baby, if the father can't be here I have no problem stepping in and helping you. This isn't going to be a walk in the park. I know I don't have to help you, but honestly there's no place else I'd rather be."_

_I gripped him harder and sobbed into his shirt. How someone could hold so much love for me they would toss aside their dreams to help me astounded me._

_And that right there was why I loved Jacob Black:  
Because he was always there when I needed him.  
My knight in shining armor.  
*_

Telling Rosalie and Emmett that I was pregnant was the easiest. Well, I really didn't _tell _them per say . . . I kind of showed them.

Rosalie's mom was out of town for the weekend and I went over for dinner, Rosalie was trying her hand at cooking seafood, and the smell didn't agree with Carly and suddenly the bile rose in my throat and I was running to the bathroom with Rose hot on my heels, she held my hair as I emptied my stomach, when I was all washed up she looked at me and the look on her face said it all: she knew. She hugged me as we both erupted into tears.

On the drive to The Hideout Carly was mostly silent, occasionally she would belt out the lyrics to the Hannah Montana CD that I was playing, but that was it.

_I would never forgive Rosalie for starting Carly's Hannah Montana obsession._

I parked my car in its designated spot and set Carly down on the sidewalk, the second I turned around to lock the car doors Carly was already out of my sight, I heard the store make the loud beep which signaled a customer entering or leaving the building and I let out a sigh of relief.

Entering the store I saw Carly sitting on top of Jacob's shoulders, both were beaming at me.

"Mama! Uncle Jake got me donut." Carly cheered happily, the customers all looked at her and smiled, while I was hated amongst the town, Carly was adored. I grabbed Carly off of Jake's shoulders and sat her down on the tiny one-seater couch we had behind the front desk just for her. Jake handed me the bag of donuts and I handed Carly the jelly one, I went to my bag and passed her the Dora sippy cup. Once I knew she was settled I turned around to Jake who was leaning against the counter watching me, I gave him a kiss on the cheek and grumbled out a greeting.

He eyed me and pulled me into his side, "Bells, what's the matter? You seem off today." He whispered into my ear so Carly wouldn't hear. Silently I handed him my cell phone. I watched as he read the texts, after reading each one his face visibly grew more upset.

He set down my phone onto the counter and grabbed my wrist and led me to the storage room while yelling at the cashier Ben to watch Carly.

Once in the storage room Jake started pacing and muttering to himself. "Dammit Bella! Why do you let him talk to you like that?" He yelled as he punched the wall.

I blushed and looked down at the floor, "Jake, I love him." I watched as he ran his hand through his hair and sighed deeply.

"I know you do B, but it's not healthy for you; all he does is cause you anger and sadness. I don't get why he can't just leave you be."

I walked closer to him and grabbed his hands that were still in fists and rubbed them until they were intertwined with mine. "Jake, I don't know why he still talks to me. It's been _so _long. But obviously I'm still kind of important to him if he wastes time trying to get a rise out of me. It's almost like we're back in elementary school; remember? He used to pull my hair all the time just to get my attention. It doesn't matter what it is though, what matters is that he's still spending time on me, I'm going to hold onto that last thread of hope. Yeah, we might argue all the time, but I need him. I need him desperately. Even if it's just fighting, I need it Jake; it keeps me sane."

He sighed softly and pulled me into him, he nodded his head in understanding and I gently grabbed both sides of his face and I leaned up and gave him a gentle kiss.

He sighed again, "You're welcome Bella." He grabbed my hand and led me to the front of the door.

Today was going to be a long day.

-*-  
Around noon Carly began to become restless so Jake took her to the park so she could run around. I was alone in the store; the other cashiers were upstairs taking their break. The silence led to me thinking about Edward.

I thought about things would've been had he not gotten the movie deal; I knew without a doubt he'd be right here next to me. What I didn't understand was why he didn't come back. He promised me that he would, was I really that horrible of a girlfriend? But if that was the case why did he continue to call me?

Hopefully one day I'd get the answers to my questions.

The thing that killed me the most, the thing that caused me physical pain, was that I _knew_ how things would've been if he found out I was pregnant; he would've done the right thing. We would've gotten married and we'd probably have more kids. With us both being raised as only children we both we wanted to have a large family. And I always wanted to have a miniature Edward.

If he came home and found out about Carly he would've stepped up, Carly would've had a dad, and I knew she would've been his little princess.

But, life doesn't work out like that.

I had to sit back and listen to people make up the cruelest rumors and I could defend myself; I had to witness my mother walking out on my father and I.

I had so many obstacles thrown my way and sometimes I just wanted to curl up cry myself to sleep, but I couldn't do those things because I had to be healthy for the baby.

I was only sixteen was I found out I was pregnant with Carly. I didn't go to prom; _hell_ I was breastfeeding at graduation. And I knew Edward would've been right there defending me from Jessica Stanley's vicious remarks, and I would've felt so much better just because he was there.

Inside of school it was only Rosalie and I. Outside of school it was Jacob, Emmett, Rosalie and I. Emmett waited for Rose, like Edward was supposed to wait for me.

Carly was a blessing though; she never asked about her father. And to be honest, if she did ask I wouldn't know what to say.

I heard the obnoxious beeping alerting me that someone walked into the store. The sight of Jacob holding Carly's tiny hand greeted me; she was happily licking away at an ice cream cone. Jacob's face made me stop in my tracks, he was nervous. My first thoughts shot to Carly, was she hurt?

I instantly scanned Carly from head to toe and let out a sigh of relief when I realized she wasn't hurt. My inner Mama bear could go back to hibernating.

I watched as Jacob shuffled his feet and he finally looked up at me. "Hey B, can I talk to you in the back for a sec?" I nodded quickly and I set down the book I was reading.

I kneeled down in front of Carly and wiped the vanilla ice cream off of her face with a napkin, "Carly baby, I'm going to go talk to Uncle Jake, sit right here and don't move please." She nodded her head and I glanced around the store and to my relief Angela was walking coming back from her break.

"Hey Ange, can you watch Carly for a sec? I have to talk to Jake real fast."

Angela walked over to Carly and Carly hopped up and pulled her into a hug, "Sure go ahead Bella, I have no problems watching Miss Carly." She picked Carly up and placed her on her hip and I nodded my head in thanks.

Angela was my savior, she was two years younger than me, and she just began her senior year in high school. I adored Ange and her boyfriend Ben; they were great friends to me. Yeah, it was weird having a friend that was in high school but I always forgot about that because Angela's mental capacity was beyond high school.

Jacob led me to the back of the store and once the door was closed I turned around to face him. "Jake, what's up? I was trying to sound nonchalant but my voice wasn't fooling anyone.

"Fuck, I didn't mean to scare you Bells, it's just that Jane was at the park with her demon child and she was being hard on Carly saying some pretty gnarly stuff to her. I just wanted to warn you that she might have some questions for you later."

I let out a sigh out a sigh of frustration, if Jane wasn't the devil herself her spawn certainly was. I gave her daughter Megan the benefit of the doubt first, but after she intentionally tripped Carly it was very clear that she was the exact replica of her mother. "What kind of questions?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

"Um, well about her dad. Megan kept picking on her; saying her dad didn't want you or her. You know, petty kid crap. Carly held her own pretty well, but she might be curious later." He shrugged and I pinched the bridge of my nose. I knew that one day Carly would ask about her father but I was hoping to put it off for a couple of years . . . _or forever._

"Okay then, I'll have a little talk to Jane when I see her. Anyways are you sleeping over tonight?" I asked with what I hoped was a flirtatious smile.

"Yeah B, you were already having a pretty sucky day, so we might have something to. . . um discuss?" I held back my laugh as he blushed.

In other words: He wanted to make out.

I gripped his shirt collar and pulled him into me, I smirked at his confused expression and I kissed him quickly and exited the room.

After Angela and Ben were finished with their shift, Paul and Seth from La Push came in for their shifts. They were responsible for closing up the store so Jake grabbed my bags and we left and decided to go to the local pizza place.

While Jake went to order I helped Carly color in the handout that the manager gave her. We colored in silence and suddenly Carly put her crayon down and shoved the handout aside, "What's up kid?" I asked as I watched her eye me warily.

"Mama? Can I ask you something?" She looked up at me with her wide eyes and I knew what her question would be about.

I brushed her bangs away from her eyes and I kissed her forehead before I answered her, "Sure sweetie, you can always ask me anything."

"Meg was being really mean at the park. . She said my daddy didn't love me. Mommy? Where is my daddy?" The innocence behind her question tore my heart in half.

I cleared my throat as I thought of my answer. "Baby. . ." I pulled her into my lap. "Daddy is really busy all the time, I haven't seen him since I was sixteen." I replied honestly.

Tears instantly brimmed in her eyes and I rubbed her back softly, "Doesn't he want me?" She whimpered.

"Of course he does silly! He's just very busy. But it's okay if he isn't here, because you have Nana Esme, Papa Carlisle, Papa Charlie, Auntie Rose, Uncle Emmett, Uncle Jake and me. And we're always here for you baby, and we love you _so_ much." I kissed her cheek and her tears began to subside.

"Are we going to be a family like T.V.?" She asked with wide curious eyes.

"Someday baby."

_I sure hope so._

Carly seemed to like my answer because she smiled through her tears and began to play with the necklace I wore. I knew her questions weren't over; she was a curious kid. "Does daddy love you Mama?"

I closed my eyes and thought of an honest response, "I don't know baby." I knew that the old Edward loved me, but the new one? Mr. Hollywood; I wasn't so sure.

Carly bit her lip and grabbed my cheeks in her chubby helps, "It's okay Mama cause I love you lots." I kept my tears at bay and kissed the top of her head and then blew a raspberry into her neck just so I could hear her giggles. Thankfully Jake came back with the food and her questions died down.

After we ate we brought Carly to the park and we watched her play with the other little kids. When she became tired we took her home and she ran to the T.V. and put on Hannah Montana, the goddamn show was on every hour. I fixed her a small snack of mixed fruit, bathed her and put on her pajamas. Once it was her bedtime she snuggled under her blankets and Jake read her the bedtime story I wrote for her.

Once she was fast asleep Jake and I both kissed her goodnight and we walked to my bedroom where Jake began channel surfing as I took a shower. Stepping out of the shower I changed into my regular pajamas—shorts and a white tank top. I settled on the bed with my head in Jake's lap and I turned on my laptop and left it on the nightstand. As we watched T.V. Jake ran his fingers through my hair.

On a commercial break he began flipping through the channels when I saw a familiar piece of bronze hair, instantly I shot out of bed, "Wait, wait! Go back." I sat at the edge of the bed; Jake raised his eyebrow at me but changed it back

E! News did an interview with Edward about his new movie coming out. The screen focused on a tiny blonde who was reading through a set of flashcards and then to Edward who was sitting down with a starbucks coffee in hand.

The reporter glanced at the camera and smiled widely, "We are very lucky to have _the_ notorious Edward Cullen here today." She glanced back down at her flashcards, then up at Edward, "Edward, how does it feel to have the title 'sexiest man alive'?

Edward let out a short laugh, "I really am honored, I think my hard work has paid off." He ran his hands through his hair and instantly memories shot through me, I vividly remember running my hands through his hair while I was screaming out in ecstasy.

"So, where are you from Edward?"

"Forks, Washington."

The reporter began flipping through her flashcards and appeared confused, "I've never heard of Forks. . ."

Edward let out a loud laugh, "That's because it's a tiny town with nothing to do."

"Well, what did you do for fun?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Oh you know, hanging out at local places.

The reporter smirked up at him, "Drinking and smoking?"

"Maybe a couple of times, I used to be a big nerd and focused on schoolwork, I never thought I'd end up here." I rolled my eyes at his answer, a couple of times my ass, his drinking is what caused most of our fights.

"If you weren't an actor what do you think you would've become?"

"I'd probably be trapped in Forks, married and working at the hospital."

_Trapped in Forks.  
Trapped in Forks._

I kept repeating that to myself, he thought he'd be trapped?

"Do you visit home occasionally?"

He let out a snort and that only made my anger grow, "No, never."

"Why not?"

He let out a deep sigh and took a sip of his coffee, "Because, everything I need is here in Cali. I speak to my friends and parents on the phone."

"Any high school sweetheart?"

He ran his hand through his hair and tugged on the ends slightly, "Yeah, something like that."

High school sweetheart?  
I think not.

More like mother of his child.  
Pining girlfriend.  
Almost fiancé.

"You're currently dating Tanya Denali, where did you two meet?"

I glared at the television as they it began to flash through pictures of the 'happy couple', "We met on set and we just clicked. She helped me become who I am today."

So she was responsible for his asshole behavior?

"Is it serious?"

"I guess it is. We can both still date other people, but at the end of the day she's the one I share my bed with."

"Edward, thank you for joining us today."

The blonde stepped forward and pulled Edward into a hug and I would be lying if I said that hug didn't bother me, the reporter was getting a little too close for comfort. Edward pulled away and responded, "No problem, be sure to check out my new movie which hits theaters soon!"

The whole point of the interview was to talk about the movie; I didn't even hear one thing about it! They only asked about his personal life, and fucking Tanya Denali.

_At the end of the day she's the one I share my bed with._ That was the part that hit me the hardest; they were that serious? He was that serious wth someone else and he still strung me along? I was bawling; I never expected Edward to be this mean.

My sniffling was stopped by a pat on my back, "Bells, um. . I really don't know what to say."

I glanced up at Jacob; maybe it was time for me to move on, it was obvious that Edward already did. I had no clue what I was doing, once minute I was lying down; the next I was straddling Jacob—hands in his hair kissing him. At first it started out slow, but our emotions quickly took over and changed the pace of our kisses. It was rough, we were both expressing our mixed feelings: confusion, frustration, anger and some lust.

I broke our kiss to breathe, but my lips did not leave his body; I bit down on his neck and began sucking on his skin, hoping to leave a hickey. Most people thought hickeys were trashy, but I felt that they were the best way to show passion for someone other than making love; it was more intense, branding someone with a mark in the heat of the moment.

I was flipped over and Jacob began pushing down on my tank top so he could get easier access to my chest, he began sucking on my skin and I couldn't keep my moans under control.

I missed feeling out of control; I missed feeling so good. Jacob leaned over and began kissed up my neck and resumed his ministrations of nibbling and sucking, alternating between the two. Hard as I tried: I couldn't hold back the moans.

Just then, my phone began to ring and I tried to push him off but he continued on to the spot behind my ear, the one that if sucked on correctly could bring me to higher sensations. This spot was sacred, only Edward knew about it.

"Jake. . .you. . . really. . . need. . . to. . . ohmygod. . . get. . . off." I whined in between my moans. I was desperately trying to sound forceful, but we both knew that I didn't want him to stop.

When my phone rang again he rolled off of me and groaned. I quickly grabbed my phone and opened it up and saw a text from Rose.

_**To: Bella.  
From: Rose.**_

_**Get online, **__**now.**_

I quickly grabbed my laptop and Jacob groaned and I reached over and gave him a loud kiss on the cheek, we both knew we weren't going to go all the way, it was too soon for that. "Sorry Jake, but Rosalie is pretty demanding."

His smirk should've informed me of what was coming, "It's okay Bells, we can pick up where we left off later." His husky voice made me groan, damn Rose.

I smirked and rolled my eyes, "Who said there'd be a later?" I was totally bluffing; we both knew there was going to be a later.

"Isabella, you and I both know that there _will _be a later." And with that, he turned back around and picked up the remote, changing the channel to the food channel. Opening up my laptop I saw the video invite from Rose and I settled back into Jake's lap, him playing with my hair again.

The screen focused on Rose and her expression made me nervous, "What's the problem Rose?"

She quickly glanced around the room and back to the camera, she leaned forward and almost whispered, "Did you see the interview?"

"Yeah."

Her eyes widened and the anger blazed behind her blue eyes. "Oh my God! I saw it and I knew I had to check on you. Thank God Em is in the shower, we both know that if he saw that he'd be on a plane to California right now, it was horrible. B, we don't know him anymore."

_Maybe we never did._

I groaned and looked down at my hands, "I know, I really don't know what to do. I need him, Carly was asking about him today."

"Yeah? How'd that go?"

I rolled my eyes, "Horrible, it was so sad. It broke my heart when she asked if her daddy wanted her and if we were ever going to be a family. I didn't want to lie to her, but I didn't want to upset her. . It's so frustrating."

Rosalie glanced down and a knowing look came across her face and she let out a loud snort, "I see how it could be frustrating."

"What?" I narrowed my eyes, what was she talking about?

She pointed to her chest and I looked down at mine and of course on the lining of my tank top you could see hickey's starting to form and a rash from Jake's stubble. "Nice hickey's Bella."

I flushed slightly, "Funny."

"I'm assuming Jake's there." I nodded and moved the camera so she could see him.

Jacob glowered at her and flipped her the bird, "Thanks for the interruption, Blondie."

Rosalie's smile held pure mischief; "Anytime Jake."

"Rosie baby! I'm ready for tonight; bring out the shackles baby, I'm your prisoner tonight!" Emmett's voice bellowed from a different room. My mouth dropped open in shock.

Rosalie, _THE_ Rosalie actually blushed. "Um, yeah Bella got to go, bye!" She screeched and turned off the camera.

"Oh, that's gross." Jacob let out a laugh as I blushed.

"So, what were you saying about later Jake?" I batted my eyelashes at him and suddenly he was pushing the laptop aside and then he was on top of me, kissing me with great force.

I responded back eagerly, interlocking my fingers through his hair and slowly grinding into him. My computer chimed, alerting me of something; I just couldn't remember what. Jake let out a groan and hit a key with his foot and it grew silent. He shrugged and moved forward crashing our lips together again, tongues clashing, my hands were desperately trying to get him closer.

"Oh. . . oh. . . ohmy. . .ohmyGod." I moaned as he began rubbing small circles over my hips.

"Bella." He let out a moan as I tugged on the ends of his hair.

"Bella?" An all too familiar voice screamed; I quickly scrambled up, praying the laptop was closed, but of course it wasn't, the camera was pointed directly at us and I was looking into the eyes of a very angry Edward. _Fantastic._ I didn't want him to recognize Jake so I leaned over and quickly snatched up the camera.

We situated ourselves back onto the bed, I was back in Jacob's lap, and Edward would only be able to see me, Jacob went back to watching T.V. and playing with my hair, which comforted me greatly because I knew this wasn't going to be a very pleasant conversation.

I looked at the laptop screen and rubbed my cheeks, hoping to get my skin to its original color, not flushed with excitement. "Hey Edward." I was trying to sound innocent.

Edward dropped his jaw, "Don't 'Hey Edward' me, Isabella Marie Swan what were you just doing?"

I made my eyes go wide, "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that you were just moaning and don't say that wasn't you, I could recognize your moan anywhere." I rolled my eyes at that, "Also, you lips are swollen as fuck and you have huge hickey's on your chest and neck, and a stubble rash beginning to form. Oh! Maybe the fact that some douche was just straddling you." His face was flushed with anger and I was slightly afraid, I've never seen Edward this angry before.

I was angry that he was angry; he just admitted to national television he shared a bed with someone and he was mad at me for kissing someone? "Well, thank you for the interruption Edward." I rolled my eyes and hoped we would get off this topic.

"Bella, who's in the room with you?" His voice reminded me of an overprotective parent and it only fueled my anger.

"No one Edward, geez. Where's your whore?" I asked; desperately trying to keep my anger in check; he had no right to get protective of me now.

"Bella, I'm not blind, I see someone playing with your hair. And Tanya isn't here at the moment, I wanted to speak to you."

I let out an un lady like snort, "Oh, so she's fucking someone behind your back?" I sneered and let out a cold laugh.

"No, but you are."

I immediately shot up, my anger boiling; "Woah! I'm _fucking _someone behind your back? That's _hilarious_ Edward! Aren't you fucking girls behind _my_ back? But it's okay 'cause we aren't together." How dare he think he could sleep with other people and I couldn't. Well, its not like Jake and I were going to but still.

Edward was pinching the bridge of his nose, a sigh that he was really pissed, "Bella, we never broke up."

My mouth dropped open in shock; he was really going to do this? "Edward, I think we broke up when you started making out with random sluts."

"Bella, why are you doing this? My God, now I get why they're calling you the town whore. Damn Bella, you've changed so much." His words hit me hard and I closed my eyes hoping to keep the tears at bay.

"Edward. Please stop." I begged.

"No, how dare you cheat on me?" He sounded panicked but I didn't care.

"_I'm not cheating._ We're done Edward—you clearly don't want me. You've made that so obvious; stop dragging me along. Edward please, if you do care about me just stop. I'm not going to sit here and twiddle my thumbs until you realize I'm worthy of being with you again. I've waited so long for you, and I keep looking for the false hope but I can't any longer. Throw me a fucking bone Edward. Obviously I was wrong in thinking we were meant to be, I was so in love with you Edward, but I don't know you anymore. I decided I need to move on, I made this decision the second I saw your interview in which you stated and I quote 'You have everything you need in California.' You don't need me baby, stop dragging me along. You're only hurting me. Fuck E, I'm hurting. . . so bad. I can't do that anymore; you don't understand what I've been through for you. I think . . . maybe we shouldn't talk anymore. You have Hollywood; I have Forks. We're two completely different people now, our priorities have changed. When you change and want to be apart of my life and make a better effort then maybe things will be different. I'm not telling you to change for me; you have to do it for yourself. But if you want to be who you are now, then by all means go ahead, if you want to be an ass and make me cry everyday, find someone else to take your verbal abuse because I'm checking out. Bye Edward."

I was sobbing by the end of my speech and I turned off my laptop and I set in back down on the nightstand. I tried to wipe my tears with the back of my hand but it was useless, my tears wouldn't stop.

I was suddenly pulled into Jake's chest and I snuggled into him and he murmured soft words to me; telling me I was so strong and beautiful and Edward was a Jerk who didn't deserve the gum on my shoe, let alone Carly and my love. Jake held me close and stroked my hair.

By the end of the night, I could see myself with Jacob Black; he was so good to me. But then again only time could tell what would happen.

And with that last thought I fell into a deep sleep with my best friend right next to me.

* * *

**Q/A: What makes you decide when something's over?**

* * *

**AN: No worries guys, this is still an Edward/Bella story. Don't hate Edward just yet! He gets his say eventually.**

**Review please!**


	4. Chapter 3: A trip down Memory Lane

**Disclaimer- SM owns all things Twilight, lucky bitch.  
AN: Two lemons ahead.**

***  
**And I can feel your heartbeat;  
you know exactly where to take me.  
We're one mistake from being together,  
but let's not ask why it's not right.  
You wont be seventeen forever;  
and we can get away with this tonight.  
- MetroStation  
*

**Chapter 3: A**** trip down Memory Lane.**

-*-

I woke up to a smiling Carly bouncing on the bed laughing and smiling. I admired her so much; she doesn't know the cruelness of the world or the problems people face every day; she finds joy in everything. She has no worries about anything, no problems.

I would give everything to be her age again; and forget it all

Jacob was still snoring on the other side of the bed; and he woke up to a start when Carly collapsed on top of him.

I sat up trying to ignore the massive headache I had and went to the kitchen to start breakfast. Honestly, if it were up to me I would stay in my bed all day and wallow, like I did the day Edward left me. I know my Edward was underneath that tough demeanor, but is it worth it? _He was worth it._ He did the sweetest things spontaneously and he made me smile every minute of the day. Last night I saw a flicker of some unknown emotion in his eyes.

Did it really take him seeing me with a guy to make him angry? Was he jealous? I couldn't keep thinking about this. It was too painful. And I had no intention of speaking to him any time soon. He would have to think of an impressive apology to get me to forgive him. I didn't want something extravagant, I just wanted to see the real him. Whenever we do talk and we don't fight, which is rare, I see he's holding back certain things; I want to know what they are. But only time can tell with Edward.

As I made breakfast I couldn't help to remember all our memories together; when he asked me out for the first time, the first time we made love when I was in the ninth grade, our first kiss at the age of 8. The first time we were caught in a compromising permission by Charlie, when we'd skip lunch and make out in the Volvo, when we had sex on school property and being caught by Mike Newton, the first time he said, "I love you" after our first fight. Making up after the fight. Him coming over and helping me 'study'. When he took me to his prom, when he told me he was leaving, when he gave me our "plan", when he gave me the ring, and the last time we made love (several times) the day before he left.

The one thing I didn't want to remember but it was trapped into my mind was the overwhelming feeling of pain and loneliness. I didn't want to remember when he said goodbye. He didn't even let me go to the airport, he left me there in one of his shirts and nothing else, when he walked out that door and didn't look back. All those memories I didn't want to remember. But I still did.

But the things I wanted to remember such as the feeling of his touch, the taste of his lips, the amazing feeling of when we joined into one person, and the thing that I wanted to remember most was his scent. But it was slowly fading. I couldn't remember the little things, his little habits like how if he was standing for a long period of time he would cross his right foot over his left, or when he was nervous how he twiddled his fingers. His tiny little quirks. I wanted to remember them all, but they were slipping. It was like they were within my reach, but I'm never close enough to grasp onto it.

I had tears flowing freely now. I think the problem is that neither of us got closure. I didn't cry when he left because I thought he was coming back. I never sat down with a bowl of ice cream and cried my eyes out.

I needed to do that now. Maybe it would help me in some way. If it didn't work I could at least say I gave it a shot.

I called Jake and Carly in for breakfast—chocolate chip pancakes. Both Jake and Carly sensed my mood and didn't speak much. After breakfast I told Carly to go get ready to leave to Charlie's house. When she dashed up the stairs Jake grabbed me aside.

"Bells, I think you need to figure out some things before we go forward with whatever we're doing; you never stopped crying last night. You need to clear your head and think about things. Maybe even talk to him. When you worked this out call me, I'm always here." Jake ran a hand through his hair. Carly came running down the stairs, and evidently, she tripped. But luckily Jake was there to catch her.

"Mommy! I'm ready to go to grampie's house." Carly smiled brightly at me, and I smiled back, happy that I still had my little ray of sunshine in my life.

We packed up in the car and we drove in silence to Charlie's house. When we pulled into the driveway Jake got out, and took Carly out of her car seat and held her in his arms.

When I saw this I couldn't ignore the pang in my heart. That was supposed to be Edward holding her, tickling her, as much as I love that Jacob does it, I would always want Edward here.

Carly knocked eagerly on Charlie's door. She adored Charlie, and he felt the same. He knew who Carly's father is, but he never told me he knows. It's pretty obvious. She looks like him. An exact imitation of him—only in girl form. Charlie opened the door and welcomed Jake and Carly.

"Carly, mommy has something to do, behave for Grandpa Charlie, and Uncle Jake okay?" I said as I hugged and kissed her forehead.

"Yes mommy!" She ran up the stairs to her playroom, my bedroom was transformed into her playroom; every toy invented was in there. She really was spoiled.

Charlie must've noticed that something was off because he eyed me curiously.

"Where are you going bells?" He asked.

"I have something I've been needing to do for a while now dad. I'll be back to make dinner." I grabbed my stuff, kissed Jake and Charlie on the cheek and drove to the all too familiar house.

I knocked hesitantly on the door, and a smiling Esme greeted me, she took in my expression and pulled me in for a hug.

"I knew you would be coming soon, he called me."

"I think it's time."

"Help yourself to whatever is in the fridge. Honey, I'll be in the den." She smiled warmly at me and left me to my own thoughts.

I walked to fridge and opened the freezer and pulled out a tub of ice cream and got a spoon.

I slowly made my way up the stairs. As I stopped in front of his bedroom door I paused with my hand on the doorknob, did I really want to do this? Sure I've been in his room before, but I was only alone once, in which case I fell asleep, but going in here now was like walking towards my own death. I was welcoming all the memories I've been trying to keep locked up. I knew I was going to cry. I was going to cry like those stupid teenagers that cried when they got stood up. Hence the ice cream; I took a big breathe and stepped inside and closed the door.

Okay nothing yet. I sat down on the bed and started eating the ice cream with my eyes closed.

That's when the memories came flooding out—they didn't stop. It was so overwhelming I saw everything.

**Our first kiss.**

_*  
Edward age 9, Bella age 8._

"_Bellie? Can you be my first kiss?" I watched my best friend play with his doll, he said it wasn't a doll, that it was an 'action figure' but whatever, it was a doll. I pursed my lips and thought about his question; this was a big deal! My first kiss. I might be young but I know you're supposed to remember this forever. My mom said she saw fireworks and it was perfect._

_So what's the problem kissing Edward? He was my best friend, I didn't want Mike Newton's yucky slobbery lips on me._

"_Okay." I said simply._

_Edward looked at me then stood up. He grabbed my hand, and led me towards the center of the room. We sat pretzel style and we just looked at each other._

_I didn't know what to do, so I played with my dress._

_Suddenly I felt Edward's sweaty hands on my face. And I smelt his breath, he smelt like grape juice. He slowly came close to my face. And pressed his lips against mine. After 5 seconds, he pulled away._

"_That's it?" I asked curiously. I saw no fireworks. It felt nice, but I didn't feel sparks, I felt tingly._

"_Yeah." Edward grabbed my hand and led me to his backyard where we made a makeshift house—he was the husband I was the wife._

_For some reason, I felt happy that Eddie was my first kiss._

_*_

I felt the tears building up; I wasn't trying to stop them now—I was embracing it. It was like I was watching a movie of my life.

I closed my eyes and remembered our first fight which led to the first I love you.

_*  
Edward- 10__th__ grade, Bella 9__th__._

_I ran my hand through my hair and glared at Edward, "Edward I'm fucking tired of you and Jacob fighting."_

_Edward got suspended for fighting with Jacob for God knows what._

_I heard him call out to me and I kept ignoring him and continued to walk through the downpour of rain._

"_Bella, I'm sorry just please get in the car, you're going to get sick." He pleaded as he followed behind me in his car._

"_I don't give a rat's ass Edward! You always promise to stop fighting and you keep doing it! Seriously what the fuck?" I was tired of both of their shit._

"_He wants you Bella. I can't sit there and watch him pine over you."_

"_Edward if you cared about me a fraction of the amount I care about you, you wouldn't care that he wants me. I know he fucking wants me. But I have you. If I wanted to be with him trust me I will be. I'm not going to sit around and watch you two make complete assholes of each other." I spat and continued walking._

"_Please Bella."_

"_Just leave me the fuck alone Edward really." I turned my glare to him. And he stopped driving the car. I made it to my driveway. I knew Edward was lurking behind the corner somewhere but seriously I'm tired of this. Can't he see that I'm with him, and it's final?_

_I hopped in my car and drove to Jake's house. I was drenched because I didn't go inside and change. I pulled into his driveway and got out, I knocked on the door and he opened it._

_I winced at the sight in front of me. His eye was swollen and it looked like it hurt._

_I raised my hand hesitantly and poked his eye—he winced. "Oh Jake, I'm so sorry." I mumbled._

"_Its okay bells, I'm fighting for the woman I love." He smiled—I rolled my eyes._

_I didn't find that amusing, I sighed. "Jake, come on. You have to stop."_

_He huffed. "I'm not going to stop fighting for you Bella."_

"_Jake just fucking stop! Damn, I'm with Edward; you're supposed to be my best friend! Be happy for me please. If you can't accept that I love Edward. Yes love, don't give me that look. I love him. If you can't accept it than I don't know if we can't be friends."_

_I turned on my heel and walked to my car. I stuck the key in the ignition and it didn't start._

_I hit my head against the steering wheel. Great. Everything is lovely today. I stepped out of the car and pulled my hood on and started walking home. Unfortunately the rain didn't stop. It only increased. _

"_Bella get in." I heard Edward's voice again. Ah, so he followed me—nice._

"_No."_

"_Yes."_

_I was beyond pissed, I was pms'ing and no one messes with a pms'ing me. _

"_Edward give me one good reason as to why I should get in your car." He starred at me dumbfounded and stopped driving._

"_Exactly." I kept walking. I frowned because I didn't hear his car meaning he didn't come after me._

_I continued walking and then I heard footsteps running behind me. "Bella stop!"_

"_Why?" I turned around and he just starred at me, I was tired, cold, hungry and pissed I just wanted to get home; I shook my head sadly and made a move to walk away._

"_Because I fucking love you that's why!" I stopped in my tracks. He said it. Edward Cullen loved me._

_I turned around. "Really?"_

"_Bella I've loved you since the first time I saw you." I broke out into a big smile and ran towards him._

_I jumped on him and wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He grabbed onto my ass and pulled me into a kiss._

_We stood there in the rain kissing for what seemed like hours. In between kisses we would say 'I love you.' _

_I felt relief; I've loved this boy for so long and to have it out was just perfect._

_Even though we got a cold the next day it was worth it._

_*_

Things were so easy back then; we never beat around the bush, we always said what we wanted and neither of us ever held back.

I closed my eyes and thought of one of the most important memories.

**The first time we made love.**

_*  
Bella- 9__th__ grade, Edward 10__th__._

"_Bella, if I ask you something would you be mad at me?" Edward asked playing with one of my fingers. I glanced around his room, and furrowed my eyebrows. What could he ask me?_

_I nodded my head slowly._

"_Um, well I was thinking, you were my first kiss; first girlfriend, I was wondering if you could be my first…" He left the question hanging, and blushed. I didn't understand though._

"_First what Edward?"_

"_Um ya know first time." I eyed him carefully, and then felt my eyes widen; he wanted me that way? I wanted him too. With Edward I felt safe. He wouldn't hurt me. _

_I bit my lip and smirked up at him. "Okay." I didn't move, he had to initiate this._

"_Okay well yeah…" I laughed at his nervousness. He narrowed his eyes at me. He got up, and for a second I thought he was going to leave, he walked to the door and locked it, no one was at his house anyway. He stood up on the bed, on his knees and straddled my waist. And he started kissing every inch of my face. Except where I wanted him most—my lips. I groaned in frustration and locked my fingers in his hair and tugged him towards my lips._

_It started out slow, like our normal kisses but easily became more heated. He licked my bottom lip and I happily gave him entrance to my mouth. His fingers started massaging circles on my hips._

_I moaned and then blushed. We both didn't know what we were doing; we were going by instinct. I hesitantly removed one hand from his hair and started unbuttoning his shirt. When it was off I pulled my lips off of his and glanced down at his chest. _

_I starred in awe at his chest; how could someone this beautiful want me?_

_He started sucking on my neck and I moaned louder. But at this point I didn't care if the world heard me. The things he made me feel should be illegal. He grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head._

_I blushed as he took me in and I made a move to cover myself but he raised his hand, silently telling me not to move. He leaned down and started kissing my stomach making a trail upwards, towards my breasts._

"_Beautiful." He whispered between each kiss—and I felt beautiful. The world might not see me as beautiful but if Edward did that was all that mattered. He was my world. And he made me feel special._

_Currently he was working on giving me a hickey on my right breast because he knew I had an odd fascination with hickeys. I felt his hand on my back on my bra. And in one second it was off of me, the burst of cold air made my nipples hard, and Edward latched onto one._

_Once again I moaned. I placed my hands in his hair and pressed him closer to my breast. He licked, sucked and nibbled. I was in heaven. His hand was massaging my other breast; I started to feel an ache and I rubbed my thighs together, I tried making friction but I couldn't. _

_I put my hands on Edward belt and undid them and pushed his pants off. He sat there only in boxers. And I was so turned on._

"_Isabella, I believe you have too many clothes on." Then he ripped my pants off and he eyed me._

"_You are fucking beautiful baby." I gasped, Edward hardly cursed and when he said that I started to feel wet._

_Edward continued giving my breast attention and I hesitantly brushed my hand over his boxers. He bucked into my hand and moaned._

_I smiled smugly to myself knowing he was as turned on as I was. With each passing second I kept getting wetter and wetter. _

_I knew I had to make the next step. I brought my hand to his boxers and pulled down. He shook his boxers off as I took him in._

_I felt my eyes go wide. He was long, and thick. Was he seriously supposed to fit in me? _

_I crawled over and straddled him; I kissed his member then proceeded to kiss him furiously. He started massaging my ass and I knew I need something soon. But I didn't know what._

"_Edward…please." I moaned._

"_What Bella? What do you want? You have to tell me." Edward said smugly, he knew I was going to have to work for this._

_He continued to nibble on my breast and I was trying to make coherent thoughts._

"_I need you in me." I said in between moans._

_Edward looked at me and hesitantly pulled my panties off. He eyed me and then flipped us over so he was on top. He kissed my sex and I swallowed. _

_I wasn't really comfortable with him down there yet, on occasional nights he would touch me but it still felt weird. Didn't it feel weird for him? Hell, I needed to google this shit._

"_Damn baby, you're wet." He ran his hand down my thigh and I blushed—I knew I was wet._

"_Edward." I moaned in frustration, I needed something—anything!_

_He pushed his fingers into my folds and I moaned—he felt good. He started rubbing circles in my clit, and I knew I needed more._

"_Edward, get inside me please."_

_He looked at me and leaned over to the nightstand and pulled out a condom, he opened it and placed it on himself._

_He held his weight above me and looked at me and asked for permission with his eyes. I nodded at him._

"_This is going to hurt baby, I'm going to do it fast so it can be over with okay?" He smiled his crooked smile and I felt safe, Edward would never intentionally hurt me._

_He brushed his tip into me and I moaned._

_He slowly entered me until he met my barrier. He paused for a moment and leaned in for a passionate kiss, somewhere into the kiss he thrust into me breaking my hymen and I felt the pain. My eyes started tearing and Edward kissed my tears away. He stopped waiting for me to adjust to his size. He kept kissing every inch of skin he could reach. Slowly the pain started going away, and I felt pleasure immense pleasure._

_I started rocking my hips letting him know that it was okay to move. He slowly started to thrust into me. It felt good; I could feel him hitting the right spots. But he still was being hesitant._

"_Edward, harder…. faster." I said in between moans._

_He shook his head, obviously thinking I was still in pain. When it was the opposite. It felt like he belonged in me. I knew he wasn't going to do anything rougher until our next time._

_I needed to show him I was okay, I pushed my hips into him and I let out a low moan at the feeling of him going deeper inside of me. He stilled my hips and I let out a low whine._

_I knew if I wanted him to go faster he would need to get pissed off._

"_Baby… we finally found something you aren't good at!" I laughed and held in a moan. He glared at me and lifted my leg to wrap around his waist and pulled out of me and rammed into me full force and I let out a scream._

_However, he didn't stop—he kept pulling out and pushing back in—each time he went deeper and words couldn't describe how it felt._

_He then starting massaging my breasts and I knew I was done for. I felt a tightening feeling in my stomach. _

"_Edward, baby I'm so close." Close to what? I didn't know but I knew I needed something anything a little push._

_He bit down on my breast and I screamed out in ecstasy._

_I felt my eyes go to the back of my head as I released. I felt like I died and gone to heaven. It was pure bliss._

_I felt Edward shudder above me. And he collapsed onto of me. Kissing every inch of skin._

"_Mine." He said between each kiss._

_Knowing that he only had eyes for me, and wanted me; made me feel turned on._

_He pulled out of me and I whimpered—I felt empty._

_He handed me his shirt and I put it on. He kissed the top of my head and I snuggled into his chest._

_He pulled the covers over us and I nuzzled into his chest further, he wrapped his arm around my waist, "Love you baby."_

_I smiled and looked back up at him, his eyes held pure adoration for me and I felt my heart squeeze knowing he loved me so much. "I love you so much." _

_My last thought before sleeping was that this was definitely not our last time having sex._

_*_

That night was amazing, he was so attentive and perfect, I was afraid of things between us changing but if anything it only made us love each other more.

The tears were flowing now; as I kept searching my memories. I came across the one that would kill me.

**The goodbye.**

_*_  
_Edward-18, Bella- 16._

_I was lying down on Edward's bed facing the window when I felt his hand wrap around my waist and inch lower to the button of my jeans. I groaned. "Edward; I'm not having sex with you." I pushed him off of me and sat down on the bed crossing my arms over my chest._

_Edward sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Well why the fuck not?" he growled._

_I smiled smugly at him. But then my smile faltered when I realized this was our last conversation before he left. Charlie let me sleep over Edward's because he knew that he was leaving early tomorrow morning._

_Edward didn't understand why I couldn't have sex with him tonight. If we did it was like sealing the deal—saying goodbye._

"_Because Edward I want to give you something to expect when you come home." I snapped at him. He wasn't making this easy for me; he was only making it worse._

"_Bella; I will always come back for you. As long as you'll have me I'm yours. I want us to do this, because if not I will be sexually frustrated and those Hollywood girls will make me even more eager." He was hitting below the belt. He knew that I was afraid that he would find someone better._

_I was really pissed off now. How dare he use my fucking insecurities as an advantage? I didn't want to fight, but I was fucking pissed off._

_I rolled off the bed, having every intention of going downstairs and watching T.V. with Esme until he saw my reasoning and apologized for being insensitive._

_I don't think he understood how hard it was for me. He was going to be surrounded by beautiful people. He would be living his dream while I was stuck here in rainy forks._

_Bella," He growled. "Get back here." He made a move to grab me and I swatted his hand away._

"_Don't touch me," I screamed back. "And I'll stay right where I am, thank you very much. I really don't want to be near you right now. You're being a dick."_

"_A dick?!" His mouth dropped. "You can't be serious. Bella, you're being stupid! Excuse me if I want to be with my girlfriend the night before I leave.. And I'll touch you if I want," He added, his voice dropping low as he dragged me down onto the bed._

"_Let me go!" I seethed and struggled to get out of his grip; I placed my hands on his toned chest and tried pushing back. He was stronger. Damn his fine sexy muscles to hell. Truth be told, I was very turned on at this point. And I knew we'd end up having sex. But I wanted this to be amazing angry heated sex. So I kept playing my role as the angry bitch. _

"_No," he said firmly, keeping a tight grip around my waist and pulling me closer to him, his body under mine. "You're my girlfriend, Bella," He growled. "I can touch you if I want." _

_He hit below the belt again. He knew I loved it when he was possessive. For the past years we've had an amazing sex life. We did everything. And he knew I loved it when he told me I was his; Damn him. He wasn't playing fair._

_To prove his point he gripped my waist tightly with both hands, he bent down to capture my lips. His lips felt perfect against mine. I almost forgot that I was supposed to be mad. Almost. I bit down on his lip hard. I was sure it left a mark. I smirked as he pulled away. I took the chance to crawl to the other side of the bed._

_He reached for me but I slapped his hand away. "No," I said. "You don't get to choose when we have sex, I wanted to yesterday but you were 'tired' fuck that, you have no idea what you're talking about. You refuse to listen to me, we don't need to have sex before you leave, and you're not touching me again until you admit you were wrong. You don't own me," I finished, glaring before rolling over on my side, trying to hide my smirk._

_He didn't move for a while—processing. I think he was shocked that I really was angry. I would tell him I wasn't after. This was too much fun. And I wasn't going to give up._

_I think he understood what I said because he snapped._

"_Fuck that!" He growled, before pouncing on me, grabbing my shoulders and shoving me roughly on to the bed. I was very turned on at this point._

_Then he grabbed my wrist and pressed them tightly against the pillow above my head. He had a tight grip on them. He lowered his head and crashed his lips to mine._

"_Bite me again," He whispered warningly against my lips. "See what happens."_

_I wanted to bite him again to see what would happen but I couldn't hide the fact that I was turned on. I couldn't help but to react to his movements. My lips captured his, showing my irritation and love for him. I felt him smirk against my lips. He knew he won._

"_You're a bastard," I gasped angrily as he removed his lips from mine to trail along my neck, nipping and biting whenever he pleased. He finally released my hands, trusting me to be good, and I chose not to disappoint him. I buried my hands in his hair._

"_That's not a nice thing to say to your boyfriend the night before he leaves Bella, you'll have to pay for it." I knew what his "punishment" entailed. When I was 'misbehaving' he always went down on me. Because I told him I hated it, but I really loved it. I tried to hide my smirk because we were still playing._

"_How?" I asked. He could probably see that I wanted it in my eyes because in a matter of seconds I was stripped of my clothing. He didn't say anything to me he just lowered himself._

_He grabbed my breast forcefully, his tongue lapping at the dark, taut nipple. I hissed in pleasure as he achingly rubbed the other pointed mound. I wouldn't let him have this easily, so I kept my sounds of pleasure from leaving my mouth._

_Instead, I bit his shoulder and sucked until I was sure there would be a hickey._

_Now all the girls wanting to hit on him would see he belonged to me._

_Edward moaned at the action and I bit down harder, his tongue swirling and teasing me. I was pissed that he was teasing me now. I used all my strength to pull against his grip as he continued with his tongue, farther down to my center._

_I think he was waiting for a reaction because he kept still for a while. I kept biting my lip to refrain from telling him I wanted his tongue in me. He realized I wasn't going to talk so he glared at me before he plunged his tongue inside of me. He had brought my hands to my side as he suckled on my dripping center. I bit my lip to keep my groans in, never wanting him to know he was giving me pleasure._

_My body gave me away as I bucked my hips involuntarily toward him. He chuckled and continued to lap at my juices, I could no longer hold it in as I screamed and moaned._

"_Fuuuuckkk," I moaned. Edward replaced his tongue with his fingers, his digits pumping in and out of me, as Edward bit down on my clit. I screamed out again, the pain mixing in with the pleasure and creating a fantastic feeling._

_Edward clamped down on my clit with his teeth; thrusting his fingers in as far as they would go, pulsating into me as punishment, but sweet punishment it was. I moaned as Edwards' fingers curled and an orgasm shot through my body. My chest was heaving up and down now, aroused and soaking wet._

_Edwards' fingers came out and Edward started up my body. His tongue created a small trail up my body, up my stomach, up between my breasts, then up my neck, stopping at my lips._

_He gave me a chaste kiss. And I remembered I was supposed to be angry so I glared at him._

"_Happy?" I asked in a bored tone._

"_Yes," was his reply. He sure knows how to piss me off. He was waiting for my reaction. He knew I reached my limit._

_I didn't disappoint as I pounced on him, kissing him hard enough to be painful. My tongue shoved itself inside his mouth, his hands groping my ass as he pulled his pelvis roughly against mine. He thrust upward, creating a glorious friction between our unconnected parts._

"_Oh god Edward, just get in me already!" I growled in between groans._

_He flipped me over at my command, pressing his body tight against mine._

"_Oh, I plan to," he whispered, before he grabbed my legs and threw them over his shoulders, elevating my pelvis to give me what would be the deepest possible penetration._

_He took a deep breath and plunged in._

_Ohmygod. Our little fight was definitely worth it. He felt amazing as always._

_He wasted no time in thrusting slowly, like he usually did. He pounded into me hard and fast, I felt his tip in very high depths. He filled me to the top each thrust. The feelings he gave me were astounding. I moaned each time. But it wasn't enough for him. He loved it when I screamed._

"_Scream Bella," He said lowly. "Scream my name. As loud as you can."_

_He thrust in even harder, using his amazing skills to bang me so hard I could've sworn the bed would break. So I gave him what he wanted—I screamed._

"_Edward!" I cried, throwing my head back against the pillows, my ankles locking together on his back. "Oh god Edward!"_

_It only took a few minutes until I felt my orgasm come on, I screamed louder than ever and my juices spilled all over his member. My inner walls clenched against his length repeatedly, making him groan - loudly. His exploded in me, my walls milking him until the end and almost bringing on another orgasm._

_He pulled out of me, gasping. After a few minutes, he rolled over on his elbow, stroking my stomach lightly. _

_I felt good. I knew I would have bruises in the morning. But I would always remember this._

"_I'm sorry for being a jerk, I just wanted to be close to you for the last time.." He murmured softly._

"_It's okay Eddie. I just wanted to have angry sex." I smiled brightly at him._

"_Well do you want a repeat?" he asked._

"_YES!" I nearly screamed. And boy did he repeat over and over again._

_Eventually we fell asleep sometime after the hours of fucking, and lovemaking. Over the night he made me come 6 times and I made him come 8 times._

_During our break in between rounds we realized we were being quite.. vocal and he ran downstairs to check on his parents. Apparently Esme went to the hospital to bring dinner for some patients. We both felt relieved that they weren't in the house. They both knew we had sex, both weren't very happy about it, but they weren't supposed to come home early that day and Edward really wanted to have sex on his dad's desk…._

_When I woke up I checked the clock 5:30. He was leaving at six. I frowned and tried to hold back the tears. I couldn't cry. I refused to. He would come back—he promised._

_I put his shirt and my panties on. His shirt fell to my knees so it was safe to say I needed no shorts. I walked over to the bed and starting sucking on the spot below his ear that I knew he liked._

_He woke up and his eyes flashed to the clock. He frowned and looked over at me._

_I bit my lip._

_He ran his thumb over my lip and slowly captured me in a kiss._ _I put my arms around his neck and he massaged circles in my hip._

_I pulled away._ "_Edward, please." He knew what I was asking for because he pulled down my shirt so he could have easy access to my neck._

_He nodded and began sucking and biting—leaving a hickey that would last a few days._

_We heard a knock at the door, and we knew it was time. I stood up and grabbed his hand; he had a suitcase in his other hand. We walked slowly to the front door._

_Esme was there; Carlisle was in the car waiting for Edward. He would drive him to the airport. Edward didn't want me to go to the airport with him. It made me upset but I respected his decision._

_He hugged Esme and said he would call her._

_His eyes meet mine and we just starred until we heard Carlisle honk._

_He took my hand and intertwined it with mine and raised it to my cheek. He wrapped his other arm around my waist._ _Our lips met in a slow dance. He pulled away and I frowned._

"_I love you Bella, I'll be back I promise." He said._

_I kissed him one more time before responding. "I love you too."_

_He kissed me for the last time. He whispered goodbye against my lips, he picked his suitcase up and walked out the door to the car._

_He never looked back._

_When he left I slowly trudged my way up the steps. I went to his bed and cuddled and fell asleep._

_I never cried. _

_*_

I was sobbing and gasping for air. I pushed the tub of ice cream off his bed and laid back down.

I finished gasping for air, but the tears were still flowing. And I decided to make an appearance downstairs.

Esme was sitting on the couch. When she heard me she stood up and pulled me for a hug.

"I think I'll be okay now." And it was true I would be okay. If I couldn't have Edward I would have the memories and Carly. If he loved himself now then I would love the new Edward. I would always love Edward Cullen.

"So he called you?" I asked—I was curious as to what he said.

"Yeah, he seemed very upset. He was also angry. He doesn't understand anything. He doesn't know what he's doing. He's so confused and he's terrified that he'll lose you." Esme answered.

"He'll never lose me Esme. He needs to figure out stuff now and I gave him some much needed space." I said and gathered my things.

"I will always love him." I said and she nodded. I grabbed my keys and drove to Charlie's house.

I felt like a million pounds were lifted off my shoulders. I was happy. I was happy for Carly, Edward, and me. I will always remember those days.

As I walked in I saw Jake and Charlie watching the game.

"Bells, are you okay? You look like you've been crying." Jake said.

"I've never been better Jake." I smiled and made my way to the kitchen to cook dinner.

And it was true, I was at the happiest I have ever been since Edward because if I didn't have him—I always had our memories.

-*-

**AN: Two lemons, one showing their sweet side, the other showing their playful side.**

**Review!**


	5. Chapter 4: Creepers and mysterious calls

**Disclaimer- SM owns all things Twilight, lucky bitch.  
****AN-- Warning bitchy Renee ahead.  
**

***  
**None of us thought it was gonna end that way,  
People are people;  
And sometimes we change our minds.  
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time.  
- Taylor Swift  
*

**Chapter 4: ****Creepers and mysterious phonecalls.**

-*-

To say I was tired when I got home from Charlie's yesterday was an understatement. Upon our arrival I quickly bathed Carly and put her pajamas on then I read her a bedtime story and before I was on the second page she was fast asleep. I kissed her cheek and fixed her blankets around her. I stood there for a couple of minutes and just watched her sleep. Carly was just perfect. Some mothers get bored of hearing their children speak, (like Jessica Stanley) but I never got tired of hearing her stories. She fascinated me. Sure she had a stubborn side, but don't we all? She was my miracle. If Edward ever found out about her he would've shit a brick. He would've been so excited. But the day I found out I was pregnant I agreed that I wouldn't tell him until he came home; I didn't want him bombing his auditions just so he could take care of me. When he didn't come back it was clear that he didn't want me. So I guessed that I shouldn't tell him about Carly. I guess one day he will find out. I winced at that thought. He was really on top in Hollywood, everyone knew Edward Cullen, and he was on magazine covers left and right. I remember when we would talk about his fame.

_*_

_Edward and I were standing in the supermarket, flipping through a magazine that had pictures of Britney Spears at a gas station._

"_Edward, what would you do if that was you? If people took pictures of you every second of the day?" I thought about how that might be; to have strangers snapping photos at you every time you stepped outside; it must be annoying, what if you were having a real shitty day? _

_He scoffed at my question and wrapped his arms around my waist and placed his head on my shoulder. _"_Bella, I seriously doubt that would happen." I turned my head to look at him._

"_Of course it will! I have faith in you Edward." I kissed his cheek and went back to looking at the magazine. _

"_I just think its crazy having those random people snapping pictures of you. What if you had a booger or something? They'll be constantly up in your face. Thank god I'm not famous nor will I ever be." I snorted at the thought of people taking pictures of me._

"_Oh Bella, but you will be." He whispered in my ear._

"_What?" I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion._

"_Well if I do get famous, people will constantly be taking pictures of me correct? That means your picture will be taken as well." He said as if it were obvious._

"_Why would that happen?"_

"_Because you my love are my leading lady, and they are just as important as the actor." _

_I scoffed and turned around to face him. His arms were still around my waist so I wrapped my arms around his neck and started running my hands through his hair. _"_Seriously Edward? You're still going to be with me when you're surrounded by gorgeous people? I doubt that."_

"_Bella are you kidding me? Of course we're still going to be together. We're going to live in a gigantic house next to a lot of famous people and we'll still be in love and wherever you go people will be snapping pictures of you left and right, trying to get a snapshot of Edward Cullen's pregnant wife."_

_I smiled at him._ "_Hm, married and pregnant? Says who?" I asked curiously._

"_Says me. I have every intention of making you my wife and mother of my children Bella." I smirked up at him._

"_But that's tiring; to get me pregnant we'd have to do a lot of practicing." I smiled and him and bit my lip._

"_Don't worry, before I leave we'd get in enough practice, then when you move to California we can practice every single hour." He started pushing me back; I then felt a wall against my back._

"_Um, shouldn't we practice now?" I asked. He didn't answer._

_He slammed his body against mine attaching his lips to mine and forcing them open so he can get his tongue inside. I moaned instantly and wrapped my legs around his waist._

_I completely forgot where we were._

_I closed my eyes when his lips made contact against my neck and moaned and ground myself into his hard on. _

"_WOOH! Eddie boy is getting it in!" A booming voice came from the aisle we were in._

_I blushed and quickly realized where we were and jumped off of Edward. I was trying to fix my hair when I heard a loud smack and a whining Emmett. I smiled to myself; ah Rosalie was the best._

"_Sorry guys! Go back to whatever you were doing." Rose said as they made their way over to us. _

"_Here Eddie, thought you could use these." Emmett handed Edward a box of something and Edward glared up at him. I didn't have my glasses so I couldn't see what the box was so I took a step closer and blushed when I realized what the box was—condoms._

"_Thanks Em, I think we have enough at the house though." Edward smiled smugly. I punched him._

"_No, but seriously you guys, you can't be doing that shit in the supermarkets, what if Charlie walked in?" Rosalie said. My eyes widened instantly I was supposed to be studying with Rosalie._

_I quickly grabbed Edward's hand to leave and waved to Rose and Em._

_When we got to his car and we settled in Edward grabbed my hand and I looked up at him._

"_I'm, serious Bella."_

"_I'm serious about practicing too Edward but we can't in your car, were not going to have another Mike Newton incident." I shivered at the thought. That day was embarrassing._

"_I'm not talking about the practicing Bella, though I wouldn't mind. I'm talking about you living with me in California, me marrying you, you being the mother of my kids. I want it all, I want you." He smiled his crooked smile at me and I blushed._

"_Me too Edward, forever." He leaned over and kissed me. _

"_So let's get to practicing!" He said and drove out of the supermarket._

_*_

I laughed at that memory; boy did we get practice all right. Well 1 out of 3 isn't bad right? I might not be living in California, we might not be married but I was the mother of his child. Although he doesn't know, it still counts.

If the paparazzi or Edward found out about Carly his career could be ruined. He was a young 21-year-old amazing looking guy. He was known for his sex appeal and his charming ways. I think Hollywood would frown upon him being a teen dad and him not doing anything about it.

His career would be done, and eventually he would resent us.

I sighed and closed Carly's door. I made my way to my room. I quickly showered, and brushed my teeth and put my pajamas on. I snuggled into my bed and fell asleep.

Unfortunately a shrill ringing woke me up. I glanced at the clock 7oclock. Who the fuck called people at this time? I angrily grabbed my phone and put it to my ear, almost falling asleep.

"Hello?" I said groggily.

"Bella?" His voice whispered. I groaned. Why would he be calling me? Didn't I tell him to leave me alone?

"Yes Edward?" I said annoyed that he woke me up from my dreamless sleep.

"Did I wake you up? I'm sorry." My eyes widened instantly and I shot up out of bed and pinched myself. His voice truly sounded sincere.

"Well yeah you kind of did wake me up." I decided to be nice—If he was being nice, why couldn't I be?

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I just wanted to hear your voice again." I furrowed my eyebrows. Was this seriously Edward?

"Edward. I told you not to call me."

He sighed and I closed my eyes; I could imagine him running a hand through his hair. "I know Bella, but I'm going through something right now, and I really just need to hear your voice." His voice was pleading with me.

His tone was really starting to make me anxious, "Edward, what's wrong?"

"Bella, I've done some wrong things, and I've fucked up a lot of times. And I really can't explain to you how sorry I am. I really don't want to tell you what's wrong. I've intruded into your life to much lately and for that I'm truly sorry." I ran a hand through my hair. He sounded so broken, and he wouldn't tell me why. I might be mad at him but above all he was always my best friend, even if he wouldn't tell me what's wrong I would be with him to soothe him.

"It's okay Edward; I've said some things too. But it's the past."

"Bella, can we just talk like the old days?" He asked; Hm, sounds like I wasn't the only one reliving memories.

"Yeah sure, what do you want me to say?" Honestly I was panicking. This wasn't Edward, he never called me just to chat; something was wrong. And I'm terrified to find out what.

"What did you do yesterday?" he asked.

"Um, I went to Charlie's house with Jacob, and then I went to your house. I spent a while there with Esme, you know just thinking. By the time I got home I was exhausted so I went straight to sleep." I left the Carly parts out. I almost slipped a couple of times.

"Jacob? Wasn't he supposed to go to New York?" He sounded curious.

"He stayed." I didn't want him to know why.

"Why?" Why must Edward be so damn curious?

"Because Edward, I was going through a tough time and I needed someone to lean on and he stayed." I answered truthfully.

"You could've leaned on me." He whispered sadly.

"Edward. No. You weren't here. He was."

"You could've come here."

"No Edward I couldn't." I snapped.

"Oh, okay sorry really. Well Bella time's up, err I mean I have to go. I'll call you next week to um check on you, I hope you don't mind." He whispered.

"No, it's okay"

"I love you Bella, forever." He whispered, but before I could respond he hung up.

I sat in my bed wondering what was going on. What did he mean when he said time was up? Was he on set? I was confused and scared. Something was going on with Edward Cullen. Something that was bad. I just had to find out what.

Carly eventually woke up, and we got ready. Today was another "Grandpa Charlie day." But on days like these Charlie and I caught up on things.

As we pulled in to his driveway I was hit with another memory.

**The day I told my parents I was pregnant.**

_*_

"_Rose I can't do this!" I sobbed into her shoulder._

"_Bella, yes you can. And you have to. You're already 2 months pregnant! You're already showing a little bit. You have to tell them!" She rubbed my shoulder._

_I started sobbing even harder, damn these pregnancy hormones. "Rose…am I fat?" I said in between sobs._

_Emmett snorted in the backseat and Rose shot him a look._

"_No Bella no, you have a little bump, but still you have to tell them. I think they'll understand. And at no time during your pregnancy you will be fat! You have a life inside of you Bella! So you are not fat and anybody that says that you are will meet my fist." She said soothingly. _

_I gathered up all my courage and opened the car door. "Okay Rose, thanks, I'll call you when I'm done." I wiped my tears away. I pulled my sweater down to make sure my stomach wasn't revealed and walked inside to face my death._

_When I walked in, Renee and Charlie were sitting down watching TV. I placed my backpack by the stairs and sat down on the loveseat. Charlie and Renee glanced at me then looked back at the TV._

_I cleared my throat. "Guys can I talk to you?" I whispered._

_Charlie turned off the TV and Renee smiled at me. "Sure bells go ahead!" _

"_Um, well this isn't easy to say but imkindasortapregnant." I rushed the last part together hoping that they didn't hear it. Unfortunately they did. Renee was the first to react;_

"_WHAT?" She screamed. Charlie just looked calm._

"_I'm pregnant." I whispered again. Renee was surprisingly livid. She started pacing around the room._

"_Bella. Who. Is. The. Father?" She was absolutely seething._

"_Um, I don't know?" I said. The moment I knew I was pregnant I knew that it was best to keep the father from my parents—they would raise hell and demand him to come back._

"_What? So you went sleeping around like a disgusting filthy whore?" Renee screamed at me. I was shocked beyond words I was trying to hide my tears but Renee came up to me and lifted my chin up._

"_Answer me you whore!" she screamed at me._

"_No mom, it was at a party, you told me to go out more, and I don't remember the guy's name." I said._

"_Isabella Marie Swan how dare you go out and get yourself pregnant! You're disgusting I can't even look at you. What will my friends think?"_ _Was she seriously worried about her friends? I was worried about me giving birth to a baby alone._

"_Mom, I'm sorry." I whispered._

_She grabbed my chin angrily again._

"_Not as sorry as you're going to be. You are disgusting. So I found out who the town's whore was—it was my own daughter. So how many guys have you slept with? Do you sleep with your teachers too? Is that why you get good grades?"_

_I shook my head._ "_No mom. It's not like that."_

"_Yes it is like that. You know what? Get up, right now. We're going to go get rid of that monstrosity in your stomach. People cannot know about this. And don't you dare think about talking to me. You ungrateful good for nothing whore." She spat at me._

_I wiped my tears away._ "_No mom, I'm having this baby." I whispered._

_And once again she was in my face._

"_No. You're. Not." She screamed each word._

"_Yes." I whispered._

"_Lift your shirt Isabella." I shook my head furiously. I wasn't going to let her see my little bulge. My baby._

"_You can spread your fucking legs for any guy you can lift your shirt for me." She hissed._

_I hesitantly grabbed my shirt and pulled it up._ "_You see Isabella that right there, is a disgusting thing. You are not giving birth to that. If you wanted to go whore yourself out maybe you should've used protection."_

"_My baby isn't disgusting mom." I answered._

"_What? Isabella you are getting rid of that baby and its final." I shook my head once more and she lifted her hand in a fist. I quickly covered my stomach, she could punch my face all she wants but she wasn't going near my baby._

_Just as her fist was about to collide with my face and hand shot out of nowhere and pulled her back._

"_Enough Renee." Charlie said calmly._

"_Charlie how can you say that? This whore got herself pregnant, she deserves everything she gets." She shot back._

"_My daughter is not a whore. If she wants the baby she's having it." I smiled softly at Charlie._

"_You know what? I'm done. I'm leaving. If you want that monstrosity as your grandchild then by all means go ahead. I'll send the divorce papers." She ran upstairs and I heard things clashing around in her room._

_She came back down with a suitcase and placed it at the door. She came back at me and grabbed my face._

"_Isabella, you are a filthy disgusting whore. You are never going to get married and you are unworthy of any man's love. I disown you as my daughter." I kept crying silently as she grabbed her stuff and left._

"_Bye grandpa, bye whore." She said and left._

_I fell to the floor sobbing with my hands in my face until I felt Charlie pulling me into a hug. I placed my head in his chest and kept crying._

"_Dad….I'm…..so…..sorry." I said in between sobs._

_He started rubbing my back._

"_Shh its okay Bella, daddy's here and he's not going anywhere. You are going to have that baby and you are going to be the best mother out there."_

_I smiled softly and started calming down, I haven't called him daddy in years, but right now I was his little girl, and I was broken. I realized I didn't need Renee I'd be fine as long as I had my daddy at my side._

_*_

During the whole pregnancy Charlie and I got so much closer. He was the one holding my hair in the mornings while I became acquainted with the toilet. He was excited to be a grandpa and never did I see him show any signs of disappointment.

After that horrible night we never heard from Renee. We got the divorce papers in the mail. I felt bad for Charlie but he told me that he would choose his baby girl over her any day.

I always thought Renee would be the calm one since she got pregnant with me right out of high school, but she completely flipped her lid. She made me feel like having the baby was wrong—and it wasn't because my little peanut was something Edward and I created out of love.

However, telling Carlisle and Esme I was pregnant was a different story.

_*  
Before Edward's phone call._

"_Bella come on! I want to find out if I get a niece or nephew!" Jacob shouted from the doorway._

_I grumbled and made my way downstairs being careful not to fall. I couldn't see my feet. I felt so gross. I was fat, bloated, and always bitchy._

_I don't know why Jake still hung around me but I was grateful._

_I waddled my way over to his car and sat down._ "_Are you excited bells?" Jake asked cheerfully._

"_No, I'll be excited when the baby decides to come out of my body. I'm fat Jake." I already felt the tears in my eyes._

_Jake sighed and placed his hand on my cheek. "Bella you could never be fat, you are beautiful." I smiled at him and grabbed his hand and placed it on my stomach._

_As he drove he rubbed circles on my stomach. During my pregnancy Jake has been very protective of me, he drove me to school each morning and picked me up and defended me whenever he heard someone saying nasty things to me._

_When we pulled up to the hospital I was suddenly nervous and started fidgeting in my seat. When Jake parked he got out and I had to wait for him to help me out._

_I hated feeling so helpless I couldn't even get out of a fucking car._

_Waiting for my appointment was hell. I was nervous. And I had to drink water and I felt like my bladder was going to explode and I didn't know if I wanted a girl or boy. But it didn't matter it was my little piece of Edward. _

_When the doctor called us in we quickly walked inside and Jake lifted me up on the table and I laid down._

_Jake came behind me and held me hand, like he always did. _

_I lifted my shirt up._ _Ms. Weber the Obstetrician came in and smiled at me. She had no problems with me being pregnant she was still the kind lady I once knew. On the other hand I had a few run ins with Jessica's mom, those were not so pleasant. At least I knew were Angela got her kindness. Although she was younger than me, she stood by me._

"_Hi Bella! Are you ready to find out if you're having a girl or boy?" she smiled brightly at me and I nodded my head._

_She took the gel that I hated because it was so cold and put it on my stomach._

_I hissed when it came into contact with my skin and Jake rubbed soothing circles in my hand. She started the machine._

"_Okay everything seems to be going well. You can hear your baby's heartbeat fine." I always cried when I heard my baby's heartbeat. It made everything so real; some days I still couldn't believe that I had a tiny baby in me._

"_Okay are you guys going to place any bets?" Ms. Weber asked._

"_I think it's going to be a boy!" Jake said. I snorted._

"_You just want a boy so you could teach him to play baseball, in which case if it is a boy he isn't going to be playing baseball." I smirked at him._

"_Aw come on bells why not?" He whined and I let out a laugh._

"_It's so cliché, you can teach him to surf." He smiled._

"_You guys are going to be great parents, it's all about compromise." Ms. Weber smiled at us and I frowned._

"_Umm yeah, he's not the father." I said. Ms. Weber's eyes widened but she kept the smile on her face._

"_Well, the father isn't the one who puts the sperm in you; the father is the person who is with you every step of the way. So this young man here will be a good job at being the father. I'll let you in on a secret; my husband is not Angela's real father. But he was with me every step of the way so he earned the title dad." She smiled at me and I nodded and smiled back._

"_Okay, the baby is in the perfect position for this, let me take a few pictures, I assume you want some for Charlie right?" I smiled and nodded back at her._

"_Okay here you go. You have a healthy little girl in your tummy." I instantly started crying. I never said it out loud but I've been having dreams of a little girl. Jake squeezed my hand._

"_Gonna have to beat them off with a bat." He whispered to himself and I started laughing._

_Ms. Weber left the room and I wiped the gel of off my stomach and went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I looked at the full-length mirror I pulled my shirt up and smiled._

"_Hey baby girl, I just wanted to tell you that we love you so much and I can't wait until you're here." I whispered and started rubbing circles into my stomach._

_As we were walking out, I had the pictures in one hand and Jake's hand firmly gripping mine. I was like on cloud nine—I felt like I was floating._

_Until I crashed into someone and the pictures fell. Jake quickly made sure I was all right and the doctor I crashed into went to pick the pictures up._

"_I am so sorry, here are your pictures Miss." I stopped all movements when I heard the doctor's voice. Dammit, I have successfully avoided Carlisle and Esme up until this moment._

"_Bella?!" He whispered. I looked up at him and grabbed the pictures and smiled at him._

"_Hey Doctor C" He kept glancing to my stomach, my face and the ultrasound pictures._

"_Isabella I think you should go over to the house, I'm leaving now, and you should come with me Esme is already there." I nodded. I knew this was going to happen—they were like my second parents I couldn't avoid them._

"_Jake go ahead, I'm going to take off with Dr.C. bring one of the pictures to Charlie, I'll be there when I'm done with this." I smiled up at him. He nodded and leaned down and kissed my forehead, then he got on his knees and kissed my stomach and I blushed. He always did this, but Carlisle was right there!_

"_Bye baby girl, be good for mommy while I'm gone." And he got up and left._

_Carlisle was watching the exchange carefully and I smiled hesitantly at him. _

"_Come on Isabella lets go." He said and started walking to his car._

_We got in and it was silent. Awkward silence. I decided to make conversation._

"_So, Doctor Cullen, do you come here often?" I asked. And then winced, it wasn't time to be sarcastic, I got that from Edward and it always slipped. And it didn't help that the hormones increased my sarcasm._

"_Isabella, I kind of work there. Do you go there often?" he asked._

"_Of course doctor C! I'm always falling and breaking bones! You should know that!" I said and let out a nervous chuckle._

_He sighed and shook his head. We then pulled into the driveway. And I was now nervous. What would Esme think? She was my only mother now!_

_Carlisle came around and helped me out of the car and I smiled at him. He just kept looking at my stomach. _

_He opened the door and motioned for me to go to the living room. Shit. I kept trying to cover my stomach, but let's face it; I was huge._

_Esme walked into the room her eyes glued to my stomach._

"_Hey Esme! How are you?" I asked, damn my sarcasm. _

"_Hey Bella, how have you been?" Esme asked._

"_Oh you know, I've been here and there, doing the same old." I smiled. Obviously avoiding the pink elephant in the room. _

_Carlisle however decided to break the silence, _"_Bella, how long have you been pregnant?" He asked; obviously trying to see if Edward was the father. He never really liked Edward and me together. I was closer with Esme. It wasn't that Carlisle hated me; it's that when Edward and I were together we always got in trouble. He caught us "practicing" on his desk once and after that he became stricter._

"_Oh you know a while." I said and waved it off._

"_Isabella." He said in his "authority" voice._

"_fivemonths." I grumbled._

_I heard them both gasp. They obviously did the math._

"_How could you be so irresponsible?! Were you trying to trap Edward into staying?" Carlisle asked. I was pissed. Beyond pissed. I never thought he'd immediately think that!_

"_Um actually no. Because he doesn't know. And this is totally Edward's fault because we've been using protection for like the past 2 years. Yes it's been that long. And when he decided to leave I got off the pill. I wasn't planning on having sex with him when he left. But he wanted to, and we fought and you know then we made up. Several times." I said. I added the last part because Carlisle face expression was hilarious. His eyes were wide as saucers._

_Esme was the first to react; she came and grabbed me into a hug._ "_Carlisle how can you be so insensitive! You know Bella isn't like that." I smiled back at him brightly._

"_I'm sorry Isabella." He muttered and my smile increased._

"_Yeah now that you guys know, you can't tell Edward IF he ever calls. Because I want him to do his own thing in California and he shouldn't give it up for us. I've been doing fine."_

_Esme started rubbing my stomach._ "_Girl or boy?" She asked; smiling brightly at my stomach._

"_Granddaughter." I said back. She had tears of joy in her eyes._

"_Carlisle we're going to be grandparents" Her happiness was obvious and I was glad she didn't hate me._

"_Bella, are you going to let us help you?" Carlisle asked. I snorted._

"_No you guys its okay. I'm doing fine. I don't need anything. You guys can see your granddaughter whenever you want though."_

"_Bella, were going to help you with this baby and that's final. We have a granddaughter to spoil!" She laughed, and Carlisle finally smiled._

"_Well Esme can you drive me home I gotta make dinner? This little one has the oddest cravings." I sighed and patted my stomach lovingly._

"_Of course let's go."_

_I don't know if it was the hormones or if I was still pissed at Carlisle but I decided to rub it in his face even more._

"_Bye gramps." I said and walked out of the door. Edward would've loved that. Carlisle always said that Edward corrupted me. It was true I was so sarcastic now._

_When we got in the car Esme smiled at me; _"_Bella you're fine with this?" she asked._

"_Yes Esme. She's my little piece of Edward. She's my Carly." I said._

"_Carly?" She asked shocked and I blushed._

"_Um, well I was picking out baby names, if it was a boy it'd be Anthony, you know Edward's middle name? And for a girl, Charlie and Carlisle combined, Carly." I smiled at her._

"_Bella, forks is a small town, we heard that your mom left." I bit my lip to keep the tears from flowing. That was still a soft spot for me._

"_Um, yeah." I whispered._

_She grabbed my hand. "Bella I want you to know that I always thought of you as my daughter and we love you and we will always be there for you."_

"_Thanks mom." I said, wiping away my tears. _

_She pulled into my driveway and I got out of the car._ "_Take care of my granddaughter for me!" She said, and I smiled and nodded._

_I was relaxed. Everyone important knew and still loved me. Everyone except Edward…. _

_*_

I took Carly out of her car seat and held her in my arms. "Carly baby! Are you ready to see gramps?" I asked and smiled at her.

"Yes mommy!" she smiled and I laughed.

"Did I tell you how much I love you today baby girl?"

"Yes mommy you love me this much." She said and spread her arms out.

"Yes I love you times infinity." I smiled at her.

We walked inside and Carly squirmed out of my grip and I placed her down and she ran up to Charlie.

"Grandpa Charlie!" She giggled when he kissed her.

"Hey bells!" He said I walked over and kissed his cheek.

"Hey dad."

"Mommy! Does Grandpa Charlie know everything?" She asked with wide eyes. I laughed and I messed with her hair.

"Yes baby, he's very smart." I smiled at her.

"Grampie! Can you tell me when I get to meet my daddy?" She asked and my smile fell. I thought she was going to ask something silly—like where Santa was.

Charlie's eyes grew wide and he started coughing. "Um, Carly, you're daddy is a very busy man and he loves you very much." He said, never taking his eyes off of me.

"Okay!" she said and ran up to her playroom.

I let out the breath I was holding and sat down on the couch.

"You know." I said.

He let out a small huff and grabbed the beer bottle that was lying on the table, taking a sip before he answered me. "Of course Bells."

"How?"

"She has his eyes, and his hair Bella. I knew you weren't that type of girl to get pregnant at a party."

"Mom didn't." I sighed sadly.

"Renee is something else; don't worry about her, she's not important. We're fine without her." He said angrily.

"Dad do you think I'm doing the right thing about not letting Edward know about her?" I asked.

"Do you still talk to him Bella?"

"Yeah, like 3 times a week, but most of the times it's fighting."

"He's a busy man Bella; if he's still calling you he must still feel something for you. But you're doing the right thing for his career and yours and Carly's life. Imagine if the media found out Edward Cullen had a daughter? They would pay big bucks to get her picture." I widened my eyes, I never really thought about that. How our lives would be affected if people found out.

"Yeah you're right." I whispered.

"Bella you are an excellent mother to Carly, never doubt that. You are the best mother ever and you have your own business. Having Carly really made you grow up."

It was true I used to be so immature. But the second I heard Carly's cry in the hospital room I realized that I had a human depending on me, she depended on me for food, a home, clothes, and most importantly love.

Honestly, giving her up for adoption was never an option for me. The second the stick turned pink I knew that I would give the tiny baby my heart.

I smiled up at Charlie. "Thanks dad, you're a great dad and grandfather too."

-*-

After I cooked dinner for Carly and Charlie, we drove home in a peaceful silence. The whole day I couldn't get Edward's phone call out of my mind. Something was going on with him.

As we pulled into the driveway I swear I saw movement in the bushes. I quickly shook my head to avoid that thought. Who would be hiding in my bushes?

I got Carly out of the car and picked her up, she instantly snuggled into my neck. She was exhausted.

I heard more movement in the bushes and I glanced down the street and I saw a strange man walking around in a black trench coat. I squinted my eyes and I could've _sworn_ I saw a camera in his hands.

As we were walking up the driveway I kept glancing around, he was standing in the middle of the sidewalk starring at me. I covered Carly and narrowed my eyes at him. He lifted up the object, and I saw a flash. Yep definitely a camera, he lifted his hat up and waved at me and walked away. I never got a good look at his face.

"Okay I seriously need to buy a guard dog." I mumbled to myself.

I was scared but not terrified; it could've been someone admiring my house. It was beautiful, it could've been someone who was just taking candid shots right?

By the time we reached the front door Carly was dead asleep in my arms. I opened the door and made my way up the stairs to her bedroom. I laid her down on the bed and changed her into her princess pajamas. I kissed her forehead and she snuggled into her blankets.

"I love you baby." I whispered.

"I love you Momma." She answered groggily.

I made my way up the other flight of stairs to my room and quickly showered and put my pajamas on. I set my alarm clock for tomorrow; tomorrow was one of my favorite days. They were Carly and Mommy bonding days.

With that thought I fell asleep.

**-*-**

**AN: FORESHADOWING MUCH?!**

**Reviews are better than people creeping and mysterious phonecalls!**


	6. Chapter 5: Missing and Driveway Creeps

**Disclaimer- SM owns all things Twilight, lucky bitch.  
AN: Warning— shit load of flashbacks in this one.**

***  
**Now I'm heels over head, I'm hanging upside down;  
thinking how you left me for dead, California bound.  
And when you hit the coast; I hope you think of me;  
And how I'm stuck here with the ghost of what we used to be.  
- Boys like Girls.  
*

**Chapter 5: ****Missing & Driveway creeps.**

-*-

When I woke up I vaguely remembered having a strange dream—it was of Edward and I; and we we're talking but it was all muted.

There had to be some meaning around it; I just didn't know what.

Much like every day, I woke to a Carly bouncing on my bed. "Mama, mama! Get up." She screamed; her excitement obvious as she continued to bounce on the bed.

Before she could create any harm to herself I grabbed her and started tickling her sides; "Carly baby!" "What day is it?" I asked her in a serious tone with my eyebrow raised.

She furrowed her eyebrows in concentration; then the biggest smile graced her face and she jumped up on the bed, "It's mama and Carly day!" She sang while she clapped her hands happily.

I brushed her hair out of her eyes and smiled at her, "Go get ready so we can go to the zoo baby doll." She was obsessed with animals, she was just at the zoo the other day with Esme, but she wanted to go again.

Carly beamed and ran out of the room and I heard a crash and I winced and started to get up to inspect the damages when I heard her call out "I'm okay."

_Yeah, there was no denying that she was my kid._

As I got ready for the day I couldn't help but remember the day I found out I was pregnant with her—quite possibly the best day of my life, after the initial shock.

_*_

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

_Dammit, I reached blindly for the alarm clock, but the annoying buzzing was persistent and I finally found it and slammed my hand down on it—hard._

_My hand stung; but I was rewarded with the sound of my alarm crashing to the floor and breaking._

_Ah, sweet success._

_I got up to get ready to head over to Em's and the second I stood bile immediately rose to my throat and I ran like mad to the bathroom and proceeded to throw up in the toilet._

_I let out a low groan and my conscience said 'morning sickness.'_

_I brushed it off, obviously the tacos I had last night did not settle well. It's not like I was lat-_

_Fuckdamnshit._

_I mentally calculated when my last period was and damn it all to hell—I was late._

_Could I really be pregnant?_

_I was about to start senior year for God's sake!_

_But deep, deep down in my heart I knew it; yes I really could be pregnant._

_I swear; the one time we don't use a condom he impregnates me._

_Fuck Edward Anthony Cullen and his super sperm. _

_-*-_

_As I drove to Port Angeles I couldn't help but to think about what I would do if I was pregnant._

_Finish school was a definite yes; I could do online classes or something._

_Would I tell Edward?_

_I thought about how his lack of phone call meant he probably was having a good time, so I didn't want to ruin it, I'd just tell him when he came home. Once he came back we'd probably get married and be a happy family._

_I walked into the drugstore and I felt like all eyes on me—like everyone knew what I was there to purchase._

_Or maybe, I'm just paranoid._

_I grabbed the first pregnancy test I saw and grabbed another just to be sure and made my way to the cashier._

_I had my hood up and hair down; hoping that no one from school was here because Port Angeles was a local hang out place for Forks students._

_The cashier smiled brightly and the second I passed her the tests her smiled faltered and she appraised me—taking in how young I was; and probably the fear in my eyes. She smiled sadly and rang up the items and told me the total price. I quickly handed her the money and got my change and receipt._

_As I made a move to walk away she called out after me, "Good luck!" I smiled thankfully and waved._

_But I didn't know what she was referring to as good luck—good luck raising the baby if there was one; or good luck trying to get rid of it?_

_I was confused—but I knew for sure I didn't want to get rid of the baby; if there was one._

_I always thought about having a family with Edward.. just maybe not this soon._

_-*-_

_I drove quickly and carefully back to Forks and all but ran up the stairs with my purchases stowed away in my coat._

_When I made it to my room I decided to give myself a pep talk before I took the test because lets be honest—I was still a child._

_Edward and I always said that you become an adult when you turn 30. I'm 16! I'm still a kid. I can't even drink yet!_

_I slowly made my way to the bathroom, ready to get it over with._ _I peed on both of the sticks and waited—and waited. Oh did I mention I waited? This has got to be the longest 4 minutes of my life._

_I started to think about Edward—his smile—his hair—his eyes—just him in general. But then that fondness quickly turned into anger. He hadn't called me. He said he would call me when he got to his apartment that Carlisle and Esme bought him. But he never did, so I assumed that he was tired and gave him space._

_But really, one month of space should be enough time right? Could he already have someone else?_

_I knew it, I'm worthless—I'm ugly- I'm boring._

_A beeping sound broke my self-loathing and I glanced down at my phones alarm._

_It was time._

_I looked down at both tests and had an epiphany._

_Not only was I worthless, ugly and boring—I was now pregnant. _

_Wait? I'm pregnant._

_Oh shit._

_My breaths starting coming in as pants and I tried to calm myself down from the mini panic attack._

_Then I thought of Edward, this was my little slice of Edward; if he didn't want me I had this baby. And if she or he had his eyes I would be done for._

_I smiled to myself, I was pregnant—I was pregnant with Edward Cullen's child._

_*_

"Mama? What's the matter?" Carly asked as she bounced in the room.

"Nothing baby girl, just thinking about things." She smiled—obviously happy that I wasn't upset.

"Mommy, can we see my baby pictures before the we go to the zoo?" She asked with her crooked smile—and I couldn't say no to that face; so I nodded and kissed her forehead.

I got up and decided to make Carly her favorite breakfast— blueberry pancakes. As I was cooking she quietly watched TV. in the living room.

When I finished cooking and set up the table I went back the living room to call her, she was lying down on the couch and she looked so peaceful. I remember when I was doing that.

_*  
Bella is 6 months pregnant:_

"_Jake really its okay, I'm just going to crash on the couch, Charlie should be home soon anyways." I reassured Jake that I would be fine alone. These people never left me alone and I needed some time to re-gather my thoughts without someone watching me like a hawk._

"_Are you sure Bella?" Jake said warily. I shot him a look and he immediately backed down—he knew what that look meant, it meant he was overstepping the boundaries and entering "bitch mode" as Emmett likes to say._

_Jake left without another word and I walked into my house—my house, it felt nice saying that. Lately Charlie and I have been bringing things over here so that we can get used to it. Because once I pop this baby out I'm alone. Charlie and I agreed that would be best, because I can't be dependent on people, I learned that the hard way. The size of this house still intimates me; I mean a 5-bedroom house with a basement, attic and huge kitchen? Really Esme? And I when I called her out for going overboard she just brushed it off like it was NOTHING. Geez._

_The house was beautiful and I appreciated that they bought this for me so I can raise my daughter; it would've been hard raising her at Charlie's. I didn't want him to wake up when she cried; I didn't want us to feel cooped up._

_I needed my own time and space to adjust._

_The house was pretty much ready to live in; I just needed to spruce up a couple of things. I made my way to the living room waddling. I sat down on the couch and grabbed the remote. I turned on the TV. to watch a movie, as I was surfing the channels, I saw his hair. I was intrigued, this is what he left me to do, so it must have been fun right? I grabbed a blanket and laid down on the sofa cuddling up next to the pillow, wishing it was Edward. _

_When he spoke something within me changed, I felt like someone was fluttering inside of my stomach, I gasped and put my hand on my stomach, and then nothing._

_I glanced back at the TV. and noticed some famous skank kissing Edward on whatever movie this was. When he pulled away he spoke, and I felt the fluttering thing again. I waited and glanced at my stomach._

_He spoke again, and I felt it on the palm of my hand, my baby-girl was kicking! I started smiling but then she stopped. I frowned and looked back at the TV. Edward wasn't on the screen._

_A couple of minutes passed and I noticed Edward was in this scene. He started talking and immediately I felt her kicking. _

_I started bawling, because even though he wasn't here my baby girl recognized her daddy._

_Charlie walked into the house, and I guess he heard my cries because he immediately came running into the living room._ "_Bella? What's the matter, do you want me to call Rose?" He asked hesitantly, Charlie couldn't understand my moods and he was always afraid that any little thing would set me off._

_I sat up and wiped my tears away and grabbed his arm and dragged him next to me._

_I took his hand and placed it on my stomach and he shot me a confused look._

_I shook my head "Just wait for it." I said, still crying._

_Then Edward started talking, and Charlie narrowed his eyes at the TV. then his glare softened into a smile when he felt her kick._

"_Bells, is she kicking?" he asked in an awed tone. I smiled and nodded; I couldn't even express how happy I was._

"_She stopped." He said and furrowed his eyebrows and I laughed at his expression._

_Then Edward started talking again, and like clockwork Carly started kicking. Charlie's eyes grew wide and he looked over at me._ "_My baby girl recognizes her daddy's voice." I said through my sobs._

_Charlie pulled me into a hug and I relaxed but kept sobbing._

_Carly kept kicking but only when she heard his voice._

_If Edward were here he'd be so happy._

_*_

I walked over to Carly and smiled down at her.

"Breakfast is ready baby girl." Carly beamed and went running into the kitchen tripping once again, but catching herself before she fell face first.

I let out a sigh of relief and made my way to the kitchen.

Carly was already up on a stool sitting in front of the island, I placed the pancakes in front of her and she was already digging in.

This girl hangs out with Emmett too much, I thought as I wiped the syrup off her face.

Carly was thinking about something, I could tell because she had her eyebrows furrowed and was biting her lip. I was going to ask her what was wrong but she already started speaking.

"Mama?" She said hesitantly.

"Yes baby?" I said reassuringly. She should've known by now that she could ask me everything.

"Mama, where's your boyfriend?" she asked with her sweet innocent voice. And I nearly spit out the orange juice that I was drinking.

I laughed nervously, "Uh, baby, mommy doesn't have a boyfriend." The moment I said that, I saw her face fall.

"Well, why not?" she asked. "Because, I don't need one baby, I have you and that's all that matters." I said as I ran a hand through her hair. She seemed to have liked my answer because she nodded her head.

"But, mommy, I do want you to have a boyfriend. I want a daddy." I sighed internally.

"Baby, you do have a daddy."

"But he's not here." she whispered sadly. And I felt the tears forming in my eyes.

I pulled her into my lap, and gently grabbed her chin so that she could see me, "Baby girl, he's busy. He has to work a lot, but its okay because you have all of us to take care of you." I swear at this moment I felt like calling Edward and telling him to get his sorry ass to forks.

Carly smiled up at me and nodded her head. "Okay mommy!" she exclaimed and hopped off the stool.

We decided it was too early to go to the zoo so we'd wait and go later.

Carly was in a curious mood today apparently because she wanted to look at her baby pictures. Through every step of the pregnancy I made sure to photograph every single memory in case Edward decided to come back. It could catch him up on what he missed.

I got the box of photos out of my closet and we started flipping through the pictures. Then we came across the one I hated the most— the picture of me during labor, its horrible. I was a sweaty screaming mess. My advice? When they ask if you want the epidural, take it. I still remember that day like it was yesterday.

_*_  
_Bella- 9 months and 2 weeks._  
_February 13 12:00pm_

_I was in the kitchen making some popcorn for Em, because I had nothing better to do. I was past my due date and taking a break from school, the principal and I came to an agreement that if I did all the class work and homework that Rose brought me I could graduate._

_Since I passed my due date Jake, Emmett and Rosalie have been taking turns watching me to make sure that when my water broke I could have someone there to bring me to the hospital. _

_I was to put it simply an angry bitch, I don't know how anyone could be in the same room with me without wanting to choke me._

_I was emotional, always crying or yelling. I wanted this baby out. I was so fat it wasn't funny. Its been a while since I could see my ankles but they were swollen, I couldn't see when I was walking and I was craving the weirdest shit and I wanted to be over this._

_The microwave finished making the popcorn and I waddled my way over to Emmett, just as I bent over to hand him the popcorn I felt a sharp pain shoot up my back. I hissed and Emmett was immediately on alert._

"_Bells? Are you okay?" He asked obviously worried, I felt like punching him! Seriously this hurt!_

"_No Em, I'm not okay! I think that was a contraction." I said nervously. I know I said I wanted to have the baby now, but I think I should take that back. If the contractions hurt imagine the labor._

_Damn you Edward Cullen and your super sperm too._

_Emmett led me over to the couch and he looked like he was about to shit a brick. Eventually the pain was manageable._

"_Seriously bells? You couldn't wait till Rosie or Jake was here?" He asked. I flipped him the bird and tried to think of anything but the pain._

"_Em, my back hurts really bad!" I whined._

"_Oh shit, why me God?!" He exclaimed and ran over to the couch. He sat behind me and started rubbing circles on my back and I started feeling a little better._

"_Shouldn't we go to the hospital Bella?"_

"_No, just wait till my water breaks." I said._

"_Ah, shit that's gonna be nasty." He whined and I shot him a look that immediately shut him up._ "_I was kidding bells Jesus Christ! Tell me if we need to go to the hospital." He said as he continued to rub the soothing circles._

_-*-_

_I must have fallen asleep because I woke up and felt the pain like someone was stabbing me again. Emmett was passed out on the couch next to me, his head near my stomach, so I reached over and fisted my hands in his hair and pulled as I felt the contraction._

_The second I started pulling on his hair, he screamed._

"_What the fuck Bella?" He screamed as he tried to remove my hand from his hair, which made me grip it tighter._

"_Emmett! This fucking hurts so just shut up!" I screamed at him._

"_Okay, okay! I'm sorry." he whimpered. Eventually the pain passed and I let go of his hair and he immediately sat up and started rubbing his head._

"_Sorry." I whispered and blushed._

_-*-__  
__3:00 PM__._

_The contractions were still coming and going but I dealt with them. What was the point of going to the hospital if my water hasn't broken yet?_

_Another contraction hit and I grabbed Emmett's hand again, poor kid was freaking out, I bit my lip to refrain from screaming because as the hours passed the pain intensified and the contractions were getting pretty close._

_As I was gripping Em's hand Rose and Jake walked through the house. When the saw my vice grip on Emmett's hand they immediately ran over to us._

"_Bella? Are you okay?" They both asked at the same time. The contraction passed so I was able to answer them honestly._

_I smiled up at them and let out a sigh of relief, "I am now."_

"_Emmett you big doofus! I told you that if something was wrong that you had to bring her to the hospital!" Rosalie screeched as she swatted Emmett on the back of his head._

_I giggled and he turned around and glared at me. "Guys, its okay really. I probably should go in when my water breaks. For now it's cool. We'll just wait." I smiled at them reassuringly. _

-*-  
9:00 PM

"_Shit bells!" Jacob screeched as I grabbed onto his hand. The contractions were getting pretty close, 20 minutes apart, and my water still hasn't broken._

"_That's it! We're going to the hospital NOW!" Rosalie fumed, hopping off the sofa._

"_Rose, NO. My water didn't break yet." I screamed back._

_She walked back in with a laptop, and I eyed her curiously._ "_I'm checking ways to induce labor Bella. You need to have that baby." She said. I huffed and rolled my eyes._

_-*-_  
_10:00PM_

"_Oh! I found something interesting!" Rosalie said and we stood up and walked over to the table._

_She was on a website that spoke about inducing labor._

"_Okay one way to induce labor is sex." she said and rose her eyebrows at us._

"_Bells, how bout we give it ago?" Emmett spoke from the other side of the table. I shot him a glare._

"_What, I'm taking one for the team!" Emmett said as he rose he held his hands up in surrender._

"_Oh, so having sex with me is "taking one for the team." I whispered and tried to blink back the tears- damn hormones. I started crying and Jake pulled me under his arms._

_Jake shot him a glare and ran his hands through my hair, "Way to go asshole" He mumbled._

"_Sorry Bella." Emmett whispered like a child who was told he couldn't have a toy at the toy-store. _

"_Okay, well lets skip the sex part, how bout a massage?" Rosalie asked. _

_I shrugged, anything to get this baby out._

_I walked to my room with Jake following behind me. I laid down on my side, (I was getting tired of laying that way, normally I laid on my stomach, but I couldn't anymore.) and Jake started massaging me, and it relaxed some muscles._

-*-  
February 14, 1am.

_I must've fallen asleep because I woke with a start, letting out a scream as another contraction hit me. They kept getting stronger. Jake who was laying next to me shot up and immediately started trying to comfort me. A couple minutes later it passed and Rosalie slammed the door open in my room, and got the suitcase that we packed for the hospital. She had her car keys in her hand._

"_Let's go bells." She said with authority in her tone._ "_Charlie's already meeting us at the hospital, and they have ways to induce labor at the hospital. So shut up." I got up without a word because I knew I was going to lose this battle. And I made my way to the car. _

_On the way to the hospital, the contractions were getting closer together— 6 minutes apart._

_We made it to the hospital, and we checked in and I got my room, Charlie was waiting for me. Poor guy looked like he was going to pass out. _

"_Dad you can wait outside." I told him, a look of relief passed through his face and he smiled and nodded and left without a word._

_The doctor came in and checked to see how dilated I was. I was only 2 cm dilated! And to pop Carly out I had to be 10cms! I already knew that but if I was in this much pain now, imagine at 10cm? _

_The doctor then explained that I was in the "first stage" of labor. Which lasts 16 hour on average. She offered me medicine for the pain, which I really wanted to take but I refused because it was bad for my baby. The doctor then proceeded to tell me that my water should break naturally so she would wait until I was further along to see if she had to break it herself. That made me nervous because from the books I read, it's this hook like thing that they stick down there and it breaks the water. I read that it was uncomfortable, so hopefully we don't have to get that far._

_-*-_

_I fell asleep and woke up to yet again another contraction. I gripped Jake's hand and squeezed for the life of me. When the contraction passed I glanced at the clock, it read 8:30, I slept pretty good, maybe I was close to fully dilated. The doctor came in to answer my questions._

_As she checked how dilated I was Jake kept his eyes on my face. He was being so good about this, it wasn't his kid, he shouldn't be here, but he was, holding my hands and wiping the sweat of my face._

_My doctor Alex patted my knees and I glanced up at her._

"_Bella, you're 6 cm dilated. I'm going' to let you go for a walk so you can see if your water can break but if not we have to use the crochet hook." I nodded my head and sat up and put my jacket on. Jacob grabbed my hand and we made our way slowly outside of the hospital. Every once in a while we would stop so a contraction can pass. We were walking in silence and I decided to speak up._

"_Jake, thank you for being here. You don't have to; you're being great with this. I owe you big time." I said as I stood in front of him._

"_Bella, its okay really." I felt something weird, I couldn't explain it, I opened my mouth to tell Jake that I felt odd._

"_No, Bella, you're always so selfless, I like doing things for you. I don't expect anything in return." _

"_Jake...." He stopped me again._

"_No buts Bella. I love you and I'll always be here for you, and little Carly too. Anything you need you know I'll be there."_

"_Jake..." I tried again._

"_Bella, just accept my help please." He said exasperated._

"_Jake, I think my water just broke." We both looked down and what do you know I was stepping in a puddle of my water. Jake looked panicked for a second, then a stronger contraction passed and I gripped his shirt and stuffed my face in his chest and he rubbed circles on my back. When it passed he looked down at me and kissed my forehead._

"_Let's get to the hospital then." He reached over and pulled me in his arms._

"_JAKE! Put me down." I screeched, and wrapped my arms around his neck, praying that he didn't drop me. I must have been so heavy! He shook his head and laughed and started power walking to the hospital._

_After my water broke, things started to get more intense. My contractions were growing more intense and becoming closer together._

-*-  
10:30 AM.

"_Rosalie, if you don't get that camera out of my face, I'm going to hit you." I screamed as another contraction hit me. Rosalie was enjoying this, she was at every angle and recording every detail._

"_Bella! We have to save this so we can remember it!" She whined. I was about to respond but bile rose in my throat and I leaned over the bed threw up in the garbage. I was now at the "transition stage" I kept getting chills, I kept vomiting, I was shaking. I was a mess. And Rosalie has to waltz in here looking beautiful and starts recording this?!_

_Just then the doctor walked in to check how far along I was. Rosalie of course was recording this and I felt like kicking her, I didn't want the camera anywhere in that direction, but no she was getting a kick out of this._

"_Well Bella. You are now 10cm, on the next contraction you're going to have the urge to push. It might take 3 hours, or 10 minutes, but your baby is going to be here soon." She said trying to soothe me._

_Suddenly I realized. I couldn't do this! I was 17 years old for Christ sake! I couldn't do this alone. I would be a horrible mother._

_At that realization I started crying, Jake started whispering soothing words to me._

"_j-Jake. I cant do t-this." I said between sobs._

"_Of course you can Bella! You are going to be the most amazing mom ever!" He whispered._

"_What if I turn out like my mom?" I asked, because I didn't want to be like her._

"_Bella you could never be like her, and you won't, and you're not alone, you have all of us every step of the way." he said it with a certain tone, and I believed him._

_Then another contraction hit and instinct took over and I had to push. I was moved to the delivery room, and Jake and Rosalie and Esme followed, Emmett stayed outside with Charlie._

_-*-  
11:09AM._

"_Come-on Bella! You can do this, just one more I can see the head." Rosalie said as she recorded ever minute of this painful experience. I let out a scream as another contraction took over. Jake was holding my hand and wiping my forehead with a cloth._

"_I can't do this!" I screamed as I pushed with all my might._

"_That's it Isabella! One more big push and you'll have your baby girl in your arms." Doctor Alex said._

_So I sucked in a deep breath and pushed with everything I had, I pictured Edward standing next to me whispering soothing thoughts in my ear. I felt like I was being split in two._

_I collapsed back onto my pillow gasping for breath. Then I heard it—the most beautiful sound I could ever hear. My baby's cry._

"_Girl born at 11:11 AM 5 pounds and 3 ounces." Doctor Alex said to one of the nurses._

"_Make a wish" Rosalie said as she recorded them cleaning Carly off._

_I wished that Edward would someday meet his child._

_I was tired, and I was sore, but the second they let me hold Carly I was alive. And I had this little person to thank. She was my little blessing._

"_Name?" The nurse asked._

"_Carly Rose Swan." I said, never taking my eyes off her. I was captivated, she was so beautiful. Was it possible to fall in love with a person this quickly? I started crying._

_I looked up at Jake and he was looking down at me with such pride and I blushed. "She's so beautiful Bells."_

_Esme had tears in her eyes and she was gazing down at Carly lovingly. "I'm so proud of you Bella." She kissed my hair and continued gazing at Carly._

"_You did good bells." Rosalie said from behind the camera. _

_Emmett and Charlie came in and Charlie had tears in his eyes._

"_Bella, she's beautiful; I'm proud of you Princess.." He whispered and I couldn't stop the tears flowing freely from my eyes now._

_Emmett was in a trance he didn't speak one word he just kept starring at us with tears in his eyes._

"_Em?" I asked him making sure he was alright._

"_I'm an uncle." He whispered and he looked up at me, then he came over and kissed my forehead, and gently kissed Carly's cheek. Carly was snuggled into her little pink blanket fast asleep. I was tired, but I still had one more thing to do, deliver the placenta. When Jake found this out, he nearly fainted._

"_You have to deliver something again?" He asked, his eyes wide._

"_Yes, Jake but it shouldn't be so bad." I said with a roll of my eyes, he obviously didn't read the books._

_20 minutes later the placenta was out, and I was informed that the pain I was feeling was not normal. That I had a second degree tear that needed stitches. So I would be sore for months. But I couldn't find it in me to be annoyed because for Carly I'd do it all again. Of course during the stitching Rose was there once again with her camera. I swear that thing didn't run out of tape._

_When Carly woke up Jake left the room because he was informed that I would have to feed Carly. He felt like it would be awkward so he went to clear his head. Rosalie of course stayed to record the "first breastfeed". I rolled my eyes at her antics._

_I was nervous when I felt Carly snuggling around on my chest. Just then a nurse walked in._ "_Someone's hungry." She sang and laughed, and I blushed._

"_I, don't know how." I glanced at her, tears brimming in my eyes. Obviously I still have the hormones._

"_Oh honey! It's okay. Here just pull your shirt down, and she'll find her own way." She said cheerfully._

_I pulled my shirt down, and blushed again because two people were starring dead at me. One with a camera. I picked Carly up and she immediately started snuggling around. When she found my nipple she opened her mouth and latched on and started sucking._

_I had to bite my lip, to keep from grunting in pain. My breasts were so sore and it hurt._

"_Honey, the pain will eventually pass. You're doing a beautiful thing for your baby." She patted my head and left the room._

_I glanced down at my daughter and I smiled. She trusted me. I was her source for everything, food, clothes, a home and more importantly—love._

_This was a special way to bond and it was strangely relaxing. When she finished she kept me in her mouth and fell asleep._

_I looked down at her and smiled, and fell asleep with my daughter in my arms._

_*_

I started getting teary eyed remembering the pregnancy. Carly and I have been through a lot, we taught each other so many things about life. She was my guardian angel. When had everything filmed, her first step followed by her first word. Which of course wasn't "mommy" or "daddy." but completely different, because my little girl was special.

_*  
Carly is 10 months old._

_I was watching Carly play on her blanket with a teddy bear that Emmett bought her. She looked so happy, so carefree, she was laughing and smiling._

_I glanced back at the TV I was watching another one of Edward's movie. It was always like a bullet to my heart, but I was masochistic. I saw a flash of movement and saw Carly crawling around on the floor._

"_What are you doing pretty girl?" I asked as her eyes landed on the television. I grabbed the camera and started recording because Rosalie made me record every minute of her life. When she saw the TV she smiled. And to my surprise she crawled to the table and stood up. My eyes widened and I watched her in shock. _

_She walked holding on to the table and grabbed onto the TV she stood in front of it, eyeing it. Then when Edward came on screen she placed her hand on his face and turned to me. "Pretty." her bell like voice said and my mouth dropped open in shock._

"_What'd you say baby girl?" I asked, zooming the camera in on her face.._

"_Pretty." She said clearly and I felt tears in my eyes. She then looked determined and walked over to me._

"_Pretty mama." She said and rose her hand to my cheek. I reached over and kissed her._

"_I love you baby girl." I said. She saw my tears and frowned. This kid was so inquisitive._

"_Mama sad." She said and shook her head. And I was so thankful I had this all on camera. My baby girl was so smart._

"_No princess, mama is very happy." I glanced over at the TV and saw Edward and I wished with everything I had that he could've been here to see this._

_*_

"Mama! Lets go to the zoo." Carly bounced and I grabbed our coats and picked her up and kissed her forehead.

I placed her in her car seat and turned on the radio so we could listen to music as we drove.

I turned around and looked at her.

"Are you ready baby girl?" I asked, she smiled brightly and nodded.

"LETS GO MAMA!" she screamed and I laughed and pulled out of the driveway.

On the way to the zoo I could've sworn the whole time that someone was watching us. There was a black sleek car driving behind us, and it also pulled into the zoo. I tried to remind myself that I wasn't being followed. Who would follow little old me?

I parked the car and took Carly's hand and we made our way to the zoo's entrance.

-*-  
2 hours later.

"MAMA! Lets go to see the tigers!" Carly exclaimed. My feet were already starting to hurt from all the walking around, but it was worth seeing Carly's bright smile.

We made our way to the tiger's exhibit. I felt like I was being watched. I started glancing around trying to shake this feeling. My eyes immediately came into contact with something and I froze. Then I saw him—The man with the camera_. He was just taking pictures at the zoo right? Everyone brings cameras, hell I have mine_. I was trying to convince myself that this man was not following me; it was a simple coincidence. _If it was a coincidence was is his camera directed at you? _The inner voice in my mind said. Then I saw it again—the flash. That flash confirmed my thoughts. Shit, this man was following us.

I pulled Carly a little closer to me. "Carly baby lets go visit Uncle Em, he misses you."

"Okay mommy!" I picked her up and immediately started walking towards the exit; my eyes trained on the man the whole time. He smirked at me, and I dashed out the door. I felt him coming behind me and I started walking faster. Fortunately we were near the reptile exhibit—the busiest exhibit in the zoo that was packed with people. I made my way through the crowd and to the parking; I didn't look back. I got in the car and placed Carly in her seat and jumped to my seat. I put my keys in and started the car and drove like a crazy person out of the zoo.

I kept checking the rear view mirror. And thankfully I didn't see his car. I drove all the way to Emmett's house and when we got there I knocked on the door. He opened the door and was about to speak but I put my fingers too his lips, then motioned to Carly who was fast asleep on my shoulder. He nodded his head and I walked in. I immediately walked to Carly's room. This little girl had a room in everyone house full of clothes and toys. I placed her on the bed and kissed her forehead.

I closed the door and made my way to the kitchen where Rose was cooking dinner.

"Bella what's the matter?" She asked, looking up from the salad she was making.

"Nothing." I said and shook my head and ran a hand through my hair.

She let out a small huff and set the salad down onto the table. "Bella, something's up. Tell me." She demanded.

"I think someone is following me." I blurted out. Her eyes widened and she called Emmett into the room. She told him what I said and he looked angry.

"Why do you think someone would do that Bells?" He asked.

"Because I've seen this guy twice and he has a camera with him always. At first I thought oh he was admiring the house because its beautiful, but he directed the camera towards me. Then he was at the zoo." I said shaking my head.

Rosalie and Emmett exchanged knowing looks. I looked at them and rose an eyebrow. "Its about time he did something like this, I was waiting for it." Rosalie mumbled.

"Who?" I asked and furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"Isn't it obvious bells? Its Edward." Emmett spoke and my mouth dropped open in shock.

"No, no no, its not him. I know it isn't." I said and started pacing around the room.

Rosalie rolled her eyes, "Who else would it be B?"

"Because I just know, why would he? After all this time? It doesn't make sense." I shook my head trying to get the idea out—he we never follow me, ever.

"No one said it ever had too." Emmett shot back.

"SHUT UP! Its not him, I feel it in my heart I really think it's not him." I screamed back. Rosalie looked downright livid she opened her mouth to scream back at me but we were interrupted.

"Mommy?" My angel walked into the room rubbing her eyes.

"Hey baby girl!" I smiled at her. She walked over to Emmett and sat down in his lap. Rosalie pulled me into the kitchen.

"Bella, do you really think it's not him?" She asked.

"Rose, it just doesn't make sense, it's been 3 years, I would think he'd pull something like this the first year not this late."

Her face lit up, "I have an idea!"

"What?"

"Call him." She rolled her eyes; I looked at her curiously and mumbled an okay.

I grabbed my cell phone and dialed his number; and to my surprise it was off. I frowned and hung up. I called his other cell phone the private line, and it was also off. Something was wrong; this phone was never off.

"Rose; something's up with Edward." I said, without looking away from my phone.

I proceeded to tell her about the phone call and she looked worried.

"What could've happened? He could've been kidnapped, or put in jail? Shit Rose I'm so worried!" I yelled and she paced around the room trying to think of an explanation to calm me down.

"BELLA! COME SEE THIS!" Emmett's voice boomed. I walked to the living room and glanced at the TV, he was watching E! News and I rolled my eyes at him. Then I heard the reporter start speaking.

"In other news, this just in! Edward Cullen has disappeared." She continued to talk, but I couldn't hear a word she said. I sat down and tried to process what was going on. Edward was somewhere, probably lost and confused. He sounded so sad on the phone, what did he mean by "times up?" I sat there contemplating what could've happened when Rose called us in for dinner.

-*-

We ate in silence, all of us were worried about him, sure he has made us angry in the past, but if he was in danger than we needed to find him. I promised myself that I would find out where he is, and I will do whatever I can to help him.

We finished eating and it was time to leave. I grabbed our things and picked Carly up.

As I made my way to the door Emmett pulled me into a hug, "B; Everything will be okay."

"I hope so Emmett, I hope so." Rosalie smiled a comforting smile at me, and I tried to smile back.

I put Carly in the car and started driving back home. "Mommy? What's the matter?" Carly always the bright one asked.

I sighed as I pulled into the driveway, "Nothing baby girl, Mommy's just tired."

I parked the car and grabbed Carly; I was so ready to just go in my room and sleep. But knowing me, I would lay awake all night thinking about today's happenings.

I heard bushes rustling and I kept repeating, "It's just the wind." in my head. It was dark outside and I was a little scared, I was never a fan of the dark, then I saw a flash of light and felt a presence behind me. I turned around and was met with darkness, then another flash, letting me see an unfamiliar woman in front of me.

"You must be Isabella Swan...."

-*-

**AN:**

**Drop a line, let me know what you think.**

**Reviews are better than strangers showing up at your house!**


	7. Chapter 6: Kidnappers and a party?

**Disclaimer- SM owns all things Twilight, lucky bitch.  
**

*  
Hold on, baby, you're losing it;  
the water's high, you're jumping into it,  
And letting go, and no one knows,  
That you cry, but you don't tell anyone;  
That you might not be the golden one.  
And you're tied together with a smile,  
But you're coming undone.  
- Taylor Swift  
*

**Chapter 6: ****Kidnappers and a party?**

-*-

**Last time on ABP**:

_I heard bushes rustling and I kept repeating "its just the wind." in my head. It was dark outside and I was scared. Then I saw a flash of light and felt someone behind me. I turned around and was met with darkness, then another flash, letting me see an unfamiliar woman in front of me._

_"You must be Isabella Swan...."_

I quickly snapped my head towards the noise then I turned around and grabbed Carly's hand. I leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Baby, here's the key go inside." I handed her the key and she eyed me suspiciously. She looked like she was going to question me but she decided otherwise, she ran to the house and opened the door. Once I saw her inside I let out the breath I was holding; This person could've been some crazy lady and I didn't want her hurting my baby.

I slowly turned back around and eyed the woman; I could faintly see her face and saw that her hair was bright red. "Cute kid." She muttered and raised her camera up again. I blocked my face and looked up at her when the flash was gone.

I stood in a defensive stance, ready for anything to happen, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Look, I'm just doing my job." She mumbled and went to raise the camera again, I went to my back pocket to get the pepper spray Em gave me and she eyed me warily and put the camera down.

"Who the hell are you?" I spat at her, still angry. She acted like this was a normal day for her, sneaking onto someone's property and snapping pictures of them. She sounded exactly like a pappara-

Ohshitgodfuck. They found out. Crap! Damn it all to hell. All these secrets kept for nothing and Edward was going to find out this way? Oh shit.

_Bella, Edward disappeared._ My inner voice reminded me, I let out another breath I didn't realize I was holding in. but then I realized what it said.

God dammit, not only did I have to worry about this creep on my front lawn, I had to find out where the hell Edward was.

"I'm Victoria." The creepy lady said, like that was supposed to answer all my questions.

"And that's supposed to help me figure out why a creepy stalker bitch is on my property?" I screamed at her.

She growled at me, like actually growled—like an animal. Seriously? "Listen, this is my job its not like I want to hang around some snot nosed bitch all day" She seethed.

"Snot nosed bitch? Um, okay. Maybe you should stop following me around like some creepy fucking stalker. Seriously, you need to get yourself a boyfriend and occupy yourself else where." I yelled back. She rolled her eyes at me.

"Isabella Marie Swan, birthday September 13th, age 20 turning 21 next week. Your father is Police Chief Charlie Swan, Your friends are Rosalie Hale, and Emmett McCarty, Your "special" friend is Jacob black. You own "the hideout" The bookstore/music store. You have a daughter, Carly Rose Swan, 3 years old turning 4 February 14. Your Ex boyfriend, is Edward Cullen. Also known as Carly's father." She smirked up at me and I dropped my jaw in shock. How could she know all this?!

I opened my mouth to speak, but she cut me off, "Now, what would happen if this got in the hands of the wrong person Isabella? Wont' dear Edward be upset that you never mentioned her to him?" She said with a shit-eating grin on her face that I wanted to slap off.

"You have no proof." I spat through clenched teeth. And it was true, she had no pictures of Carly, each time they were around her face was in my shoulder or she got the back of her. It would remain that way.

"You will stay away from us."

"Um, no can do. It's my job. My friends and I are getting paid a decent amount for this and I refuse to let this slip." She said with a cocky smile on her face.

I inched closer to her with my fists clenched, "Listen, maybe I didn't make myself clear bitch, you will stay away from me and my family."

She looked down at my fists and rolled her eyes. "Listen sweetie, you need to just shut the fuck up and let me do my job. What are you going to do hit me? Try it because this information will make its way to the wrong person," I raised my fist to hit her when I heard footsteps behind her. I saw a hand grasp her shoulder.

"Who the hell are you? And why do you look like you're causing trouble?" Jake's angry voice snapped from behind her.

Victoria turned around and eyed him. She looked scared; Jake was a pretty well built guy.

"Leave." I spat at her. She grabbed her bag from the floor and started walking down the driveway. When she made it to the gate she stopped and turned around.

"I will be back, Isabella." She said in a tone that I couldn't describe; it was just scary. When I heard the rustling of the gate, I fell to the ground and just cried.

I was so frustrated, angry, upset and scared. I'm scared for Edward and wherever he is. I'm scared for Carly and myself.

All of the emotions just hit me and I let it all out, I sobbed, and sobbed and sobbed. I felt Jake stroking my back and I relaxed into his touch.

I tried to stop crying, I really did. But I was just so overwhelmed. Jake picked me up and cradled me like a baby and walked inside the house.

I cried the entire way up the stairs and all the way to my bedroom. Jake put me down on the bed and tucked me in and I grabbed the pillow and stuffed it to my face and cried.

I heard the door shut and then I heard whispering outside my door.

"Uncle Jake, what's wrong with mommy?" I heard Carly's sweet voice ask.

"Mommy is very tired baby, why don't you go put your PJ's on and we can have ice cream and watch sponge bob." he said happily. I heard her squeal and heard her footsteps along the hallway.

I continued to cry because Edward wasn't here to hold me; I didn't even know where he was! And the brought another round of tears.

I cried until my body ran out of tears.

No body will threaten my baby. And Edward wouldn't find out until I told him.

_Please God, if Edward is safe I'll tell him all about Carly._ I promised, and with that last thought I fell asleep.

-*-

He was running towards me, I could see the sweat coming off his face and he shouted at me. I couldn't hear a word he was saying. I tried to move but I couldn't, I was frozen in place.

He finally reached me and he put his hands on my face, like he was trying to memorize something. I looked up at his face and realized how awful he looked. He was still beautiful but he looked so exhausted, he had purple bags under his eyes and he looked so fragile. He was so pale and he looked like he could breakdown any minute.

"Edward?" I whispered with tears in my eyes, I knew it was him, I just had to make sure because this wasn't the Edward that I knew.

"Bella! Bella, I'm so sorry, I never meant to do this. I love you Bella, I love you so much." He whispered as he pulled me in for a breathtaking kiss.

When we pulled away he took a couple of steps back and smiled sadly.

"Come back." I whispered. He slowly shook his head; he looked weaker and weaker each moment.

He dropped to the floor and didn't move. I finally could move and I slowly walked towards him. His was face down and I pushed his shoulder so he could roll over.

I gasped in surprise as I saw his green lifeless eyes starring dead at me.

_Ring, Ring, Ring._

I gasped for air as I looked around for my cell phone. I had tears running down my face and I wiped them away. I looked down at the clock and saw the time 3:32 AM.

I grabbed my phone and glanced at the caller ID. Caller Unknown. It read, who would be calling me this late? I pressed the button on the side to put it on silent. It was probably a wrong number.

But for some reason I couldn't not pick up the phone, I had to. I flipped the phone open and pressed my ear to the side.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Bella? His sweet voice said, the voice that I've been aching to hear. Edward. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Edward, I called you earlier, but you didn't pick up?" I said; I didn't want to attack him with questions yet, so I danced around the subject.

"Yeah.... sorry.... I don't have my phone...on me." He said between coughs, and each time his voice got weaker.

"Edward, where's your cell phone?" I asked curiously. He always had his cell phone on him. Every second of the day.

"I don't have it Bella." He said his weak voice getting a little stronger.

"Okay then give me this number so I can call you."

"I can't Bella." He sighed then coughed. Something was wrong, very wrong. Even if Edward and I fought he would always give me his new number.

"Why the hell not?" I fumed, why couldn't he trust me?

"Bella, I'm not supposed to be talking to you," He whispered. His voice sounded so weak, like he could break down any minute. And I felt horrible. He's obviously risking something to talk to me, but why me? That wasn't important now, this was my Edward, he sounded so vulnerable and I knew at that moment that this is the only man I will ever love and I had to do everything in my power to help him, first by finding out where he is.

"Edward where are you?" I whispered. Was he kidnapped? Was he in jail?

"Bella, I'm, I'm, in........" Just as he started to talk I heard a door slam open, I cringed at the sound.

"HEY YOU! You're not supposed to have a phone in here! Martha! He has a phone, bring in the stuff." A voice screamed.

"Edward, Edward are you there?" I whispered frantically. Where was he? Who was that man? Who was Martha? What was the stuff?"

I heard a woman's voice whispering something, and then I heard silence.

"Edward?" I asked, fighting the tears in my eyes.

"Bella.... love you." he said between coughs.

"EDWARD?!" I screamed.

"Sorry, Edward is a little busy now." The man's voice boomed.

"What are you doing to Edward?" I screamed at him.

"We're doing what needs to be done." the man said and closed the phone.

I sat there in shock. I pinched myself. Did that seriously just happen? I can't even process what just happened.

I learned a few things from the conversation.

1. Edward was not allowed to be on the phone.  
2. I needed to find out that those people where.  
3. Edward was either being starved or sick.  
4. He could be in jail, or kidnapped.  
5. Something was wrong.  
6. I had to save him no matter what.  
7. And most importantly, I still loved him with everything I had in me.

I shot up out of bed. I had to do something. I couldn't just sit here. But it was barely 4 am. Where could I possibly go at this hour for help? I had to wait for a decent time.

I knew exactly where I was going.

The Cullen's residence.

-*-

Time passed slowly, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't move. I starred blankly at the clock, urging time to pass faster.

When it was 7:45 I got up to get ready. I knew that Carlisle was already at work and Esme was at home at this time.

When I reached the living room I saw a lump asleep on the couch—Jake. I smiled and shook him awake.

He sat right up. "Bells? Are you okay?" He asked while rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Yeah Jake I have to go see Esme right now, can you watch Carly for me? I'll be back real soon." I said as I grabbed my jacket and shoes on.

"Sure, if you're still there by 9, just come to the store, I'll take her with me." He mumbled into his pillow.

"Thanks Jake." I said and leaned over to kiss his cheek. I made my way to the door and opened it. I saw rustling in the bushes and that reminded me of something; Victoria.

"Hey Jake!" I called out. He appeared by the door.

"Yeah?" He asked, letting out a yawn, poor guy didn't get a decent sleep.

"When you go out with Carly, can you keep her face covered? I don't know what they want, so make sure she isn't seen, I'll deal with them later. This is more important."

"Yeah sure Bells." He said with a nod of his head; he really was a good friend. As I looked back on last night I couldn't believe how stupid I was. It must've been the protective mother side of me but I went crazy. She could've easily had a gun. I would have to be more careful.

"And Jake?" I said as he turned around to walk away. He looked back at me.

"Get some sleep please. I love you." I said as I closed the door behind me. I raced to my car and sat down inside of it. I saw the bushes rustling and I grew madder. Couldn't whoever they were just leave me alone? They never said they were paparazzi, she said it was her job. What could that mean?

I put my key in the ignition and drove down the driveway, when I got to the gate I pressed the remote and it opened for me.

I raced through the streets of forks until I made it to my destination.

I parked and got out and walked over to the door. I rang it and waited for Esme to open the door. She didn't come after 3 minutes. I didn't want to be a bother but I needed her opinion on this. So I rang again. And when she didn't answer I rang again. Finally she opened the door and I saw she was covered in dirt.

I let out a laugh and she blushed. "Come on in Bella! Sorry I was out back gardening. We should get you a key, this is also your house to you know?" she said with a warm smile on her face.

"Thanks." I said.

"Well what can I do for you honey?" She asked still smiling. I truly did love this woman, she was everything I could ever ask for in a mother, since my mother flaked and I haven't talked to her since that fateful day.

"Um, I actually had something to talk to you about..." I trailed off. She had a knowing smile on her face.

"Ah yes, okay come out back with me, you can help me garden."

If she knew what this was about why was she smiling and acting happy?

Something's wrong, Very wrong.  
I need answers to my questions, and fast before I go insane.

We walked out to the garden and I sat on the floor, and Esme smiled warmly at me.

"So, what's the matter Bella?" She asked as she handed me a shovel.

_Hmm, what's the matter? Maybe the father of my child is missing and no one seems to think this is a big deal!_

"Um, its just that I think something's wrong with Edward...." I trailed off, not really knowing what to say.

"Why do you think that honey?" She asked with that sweet voice and I wanted to snap at her, but I couldn't.

"Um, well it was all over TV." I said; I left the phone calls out because that would just freak her out.

"Ah, yes we saw that already dear. No need to worry about him. If he was in trouble we would know by now." She smiled brightly and I dropped my mouth open in shock. Was she seriously just brushing this off? This was her son!

"Esme, he could be kidnapped." I said slowly, trying to get her to understand. Edward being kidnapped was my latest theory about where he was, jail was a possibility but after this morning's phone call I think it was more on the kidnapping side.

"Dear, Edward has been living in California for 3 years now, I think he could handle himself if that was the case." She said more seriously, I saw a hint of guilt in her eyes but it was quickly gone.

I opened my mouth to speak but she cut me off. "Lets forget about this nonsense, let's talk about something happier, your birthday is next week, are we having a party for you?"

I groaned internally. My 21st birthday. The big 2-1; legal to drink; not like I would. If I didn't have Carly I probably would've wanted to go to Vegas, Rose and I said that ever since we were little. We wanted to get shit faced in Vegas.

My how things have changed, I probably would spend the day with my Carly.

"I don't know Esme, I don't want anything extravagant." She frowned slightly but the shook her head and beamed.

"Nonsense Bella! This is a big deal for you, you should celebrate it." I sighed; I had too much on my mind to add planning a birthday party to the list of things I need to do.

"I really don't want a party Esme." I tried to fight back but the look in her eyes showed me that this was a battle I wasn't winning.

"Rosalie and I will plan something for you Emmett, and Jacob to do. I'll be taking my granddaughter for that weekend," Her voice was final, with a tone of authority and I just nodded. I would have to talk to Rose and tell her nothing to big, just a dinner would be fine. But knowing Rosalie it wouldn't be that simple, I would just have to calmly explain to her that I'm a mother to a 3-year-old child and I can't go crazy. She would be disappointed, but hopefully she'd understand.

I wonder what Edward would say if he found out we were celebrating my birthday.

_Edward._ I sighed, I just knew something was up; Esme was too calm, I thought I could come to her for support but she wasn't any help. She knew something; but she wasn't going to tell me, I guess I'll have to find out by myself.

Esme kept rambling on and on about birthday party ideas and I smiled and nodded and pretended that I knew what she was talking about, when in reality my mind was racing with thoughts, trying to figure out who Victoria was, she didn't seem like a threat. She didn't look like a paparazzi, she said that if I didn't cooperate then the pictures would fall into the wrong hands, but then again, she knew about Carly. That was bad. I would just make sure to stay away from and keep my guard up.

I decided it was time to leave so I excused myself and left Esme in the garden as I slowly walked towards the door. I heard her softly whispering to herself.

"Oh please God help him get through this." She murmured. Get through this? What did that mean? I groaned in frustration. This was just too much for me to handle.

I kept walking towards the front door and I looked over at the pictures on the walls.

They were of Edward as a kid; I was in every single one of them. Us at the park, at the pool, at the beach, our school pictures lined up next to each other, Edward and I at prom. Prom was in April, and Edward left one week after. He didn't stay to graduate with his class. He had a dream to follow, a dream that could possibly have endangered his life. Then the last picture was of me, standing with Carly on my graduation day, Rosalie was on my right with Emmett next to her, and no one was on my left. The picture looked unbalanced, like someone was missing. And someone was missing; Edward. He should've been home by then, I had a slight smile on my face, but you could see behind it, how scared I was, how tired, how lonely I was. It was overwhelming.

I left the house and got into my car and made my way to the hideout.

-*-

As I walked in the bells chimed and Carly came bursting out of the back room and jumped into my waiting arms. I looked down into her beautiful green eyes, Edward's eyes and I let out a sigh of relief. I was with my baby now. My guardian angel. I hugged her back and set her down on the ground.

"Mommy! Uncle Jake played hide-and-seek with me! On our way to the car he made me hide in his shoulder from all the birds because they want to eat me!" She said and her eyes went wide and I had to bite back a laugh.

I glanced at the back door and I saw Jake leaning back against the door smirking. I smiled up at him and he beamed back. Carly ran over and jumped into his arms and she wrapped his arms tightly around his neck. He was whispering something in her ear and she was giggling. The moment I saw that I realized something;

Maybe, just maybe I could give Jake a chance. I know he wants more a serious relationship and what was my excuse? I was still in love with Edward, Jake accepted that, he accepted that Carly was Edward's and he still treated her like his own. He accepted me for me, and he wanted me to be happy. Maybe after I figured out all this stuff with Edward we could give it a go. If Edward didn't want me.

But for now, my main goal was to find Edward.

"Bells, maybe you should come check this out." Jake said and I snapped out of my thoughts. I walked into the back room and saw that he had the TV on watching E! News. I sighed and sat down on the couch.

"We have more news on Edward Cullen's disappearance." The short woman said and then they had footage of Tanya walking into an airport, what did his disappearance have to do with her?

"Tanya Denali known for being linked to Edward was scene yesterday at LAX boarding a flight to Cancun Mexico, perhaps to meet with Edward? When asked if that's what she was doing she danced around the subject and avoided it all together." The woman said.

Then they went to footage of the red carpet. I saw a familiar face Jasper Whitlock, he was also very famous and he was married to his small town girlfriend Alice Brandon, she owned a chain of boutiques and every time you saw them you could see the love radiating between them. Edward has told me about them before, they were his first friends when he went to L.A. Jasper was his co-star in the first movie he made.

"Jasper! Have you heard of Edward Cullen's disappearance?" The reporter asked. Jasper lifted his sunglasses off and nodded his head.

"Yes, I did hear of that." He said in his smooth voice. He wrapped his arm around Alice and she snuggled closer to his and she nodded as well.

"Well do you know where he is? Is he with Tanya?" The reporter practically screamed at him.

"I can assure you that he is not with Tanya." He said, a hint of his southern accent coming out.

"Then where is he?" She shot back.

"I can not disclose that information to you Miss, if I do it endangers him greatly."

SHIT. I knew it! I just knew it! He's kidnapped oh god, oh god. Oh god! What am I going to do?! Holy shit, how do you deal with this?

"Is he okay?" The reporter asked. Alice looked at Jasper and he nodded.

"He is not okay, but he will be." She said in a bell like voice, they smiled and left hand in hand.

Oh god, she just confirmed it, he was gone, but maybe they were working on getting him out? Oh shit, I couldn't do anything! I felt so helpless. But I knew that if I got a phone call from Edward telling me to go get him, I would go in a heartbeat. I'd go to the end of the world for him.

Suddenly I felt overwhelmed. I was drowning in every emotion possible and I needed my life jacket. But he wasn't here he was somewhere, possibly dying until his attacker received the money necessary to release him. I needed Edward now more than anything, even if he was jerk to me. Which he wasn't all the time. He only was crabby with me on the phone some days. But other days he was completely fine.

_*  
Carly is 2 years old._

_I sighed as I set Carly down for her nap. I was exhausted. I lay down on my bed but my phone rang. I groaned but got up to get it. I put it to my ear without checking the ID._

"_Hello?" _

"_Bella." I visibly relaxed, I knew his tone, and he was having a good day. He only spoke nasty to me on bad days. I pulled the blankets up and snuggled into the pillows and closed my eyes. Maybe, just maybe if I focused hard enough I could picture Edward standing right next to me talking to me. Instead of him being miles away._

"_Edward." I stated._

"_How are you love?" I smiled at his nickname for me, after all these years he still used it._

"_I'm good. I miss you." I said._

"_You sound tired love, I hope you're getting enough sleep. I miss you too, so much. I…. I wish you were here. I need you so much Bella." He said and I heard it in his voice, he was lonely. But I couldn't just go to him. I had Carly. And I didn't know how he would react to her, I knew he eventually wanted kids, but right when his career was skyrocketing, I doubt it._

"_Edward, I need you to." More than you ever know._

"_Is this worth it? I lost you; we lost everything we had, because I messed up. Will we ever get that back?" He said, and he sounded so hurt so broken._

_I sighed into the phone._ "_I don't know Edward. I want it so bad." I whispered back and I yawned._

"_Love, go to sleep. I'll sing you to sleep." He whispered and he started humming a soothing tune._

_And I fell into a deep sleep._

_*._

I missed that Edward, the one who would bring me flowers on a stormy day, the one who would sneak up to me in the hallways and kiss me, the one who planned out our lives. The one who would sing me to sleep every night. The one would come to my house and climb my tree every morning and would wake me up with a kiss and wait for me to get ready. The one who helped me with my homework.

But most of all I missed his smile, my smile. He never used it on anyone else; it was mine. I missed feeling so safe, I was on that high that nothing can touch me; our love would overcome all. Who knew that one decision could ruin it all for us?

We were broken and we might not ever be the same again.  
But I would try my best to get it like that again.  
Because at the end of the day I was his and he was mine, weather he liked it or not.

I was snapped back from my thoughts when my cell phone rang, I checked the ID hoping it was Edward, but it wasn't, it was Rose. I sighed and picked it up.

"Hey Rose."

"Isabella Marie Swan! Get your ass to my house NOW." She screamed into the phone.

Oh shit what have I done?

-*-

**AN: **

**Reviews are better than finding out your boyfriend disappeared!**


	8. Chapter 7: Sex shops and Vegas?

**Disclaimer- SM owns all things Twilight, lucky bitch.  
AN: Little surprise at the end :)**

*  
I love you and I hate you,  
Just take my hand;  
Now I'm dying and I'm crying.  
I'll never let go.  
But I kiss you and I hold you,  
Just take my hand,  
And you hold me closer.  
- MetroStation**  
***

**Chapter 7: ****Sex shops and Vegas?**

-*-

I left the hideout with Carly and quickly hopped into the car. Rosalie was serious; she didn't give me any details except that I needed to get to her house, and soon.

Carly was happily chatting away about a dream she had last night. It was about ice-cream cones singing and dancing. Which reminded me to never give her sugar before she slept because she was a bouncing ball of energy, but soon she would crash, and _hard._

I pulled up into Rose's driveway and looked around. I didn't see anything suspicious so I got out the car. I unbuckled Carly and picked her up. She hid her face in the crook of my neck. I locked the doors and rang Rose's doorbell.

Emmett opened it and the second Carly heard his voice she turned around and jumped into his arms. He was spinning her around and laughing. I watched them with a smile on my face; one day Em would be a great father. If only he asked Rose to marry him.

Rose was watching from the kitchen with a smile on her face. I walked into the kitchen and sat down.

"So Rose, you rang?" I asked nervously.

"Yes. We need to go out and grab a few things." She said as she grabbed her purse.

She walked into the living room where Carly was getting a piggyback ride from Em. "Em, baby we're leaving. Watch Carly for us." Rosalie said as she kissed him quickly.

"Carly baby watch Uncle Em for me okay? Make sure he doesn't get into to much trouble." Rosalie said as she kissed Carly's forehead.

"Okay Auntie Rosie!" She beamed.

I walked over to her and gave her a hug. "Baby, I'll be back soon." I said to her, she looked up at me and smiled.

"Okay mommy, love you!" She laughed as Em tickled her.

I made my way to the door when I realized something.

"Hey Em? If you guys go out, cover her face okay?" I said; he looked confused.

"I'll explain when we come back." I said as Rosalie pulled me to the door.

"ROSIE! Get us some stuff too!" Emmett screamed and Rosalie rolled her eyes.

We made our way over to her convertible and buckled in. "Are we going grocery shopping?" I asked and she let out a laugh.

"Yeah something like that." She said as she shook her head. She pulled out of the driveway and got on the highway.

"So, what was with the frantic call?" I asked.

"Oh, I got a call from Esme." She sang and I groaned. Now I knew what this was about.

"And?" I asked as I shifted nervously.

"We need to plan your birthday party!" She said happily.

"Rose, I don't want a party. Maybe a nice dinner with Carly?" I asked hopefully, I knew if Carly was there things wouldn't get out of hand.

"Nope. Carly's staying over at the grandparent's house. I have free rein over this party." She said as she stuck her tongue out at me. I groaned; this was going to be bad.

"Rose, just not to much okay?" I said as I ran through various ways this could end badly.

"Sure bells. You probably wont even remember it. I plan on getting you trashed." She said and my eyes widened. I only drank once before and the only thing I remembered was waking up in Edward's bed with no memory of what happened the night before.

"Rose no!" I whined.

"Enough Bella. We'll talk more later. We're here." She said as she parked. I got out of the car grumbling to myself the whole time. We reached the doors and I finally looked up to see where we were. My mouth dropped open in shock when I realized where we were.

The romantic depot.

I looked over at Rose and she laughed at my face expression. "Bells, you need some fun in your life. You're always so uptight, just being mommy Bella. You need to let loose and get laid." She said as she opened the door, I reluctantly walked in keeping my eyes trained to the floor.

Rosalie walked down to the cashier.

"Leah!" She called to the cashier.

"Rose, back so soon?" The girl let out a laugh as Rose nodded her head. My eyes widened, Rose was a frequent shopper; talk about bad images in my mind.

"Yeah, I decided to bring my friend, she's a romantic depot virgin." Rosalie said while laughing as I blushed furiously.

"Well, welcome! Our first timers always get a discount so grab whatever you like." She said as she smiled brightly. I nodded my head and tried to hide my blush. Rosalie grabbed my arm as she pulled me towards the first isle.

My eyes widened in surprise. This story had _everything._ Things I didn't even think existed.

They had a million types of condoms; flavored, studded, ultra thin, ribbed, ticklers, glow in the dark.

Seriously people bought this stuff? Back in high school Edward and I were adventurous but not _this_ adventurous. We never thought about using toys before.

I stopped at looked at one of the "ticklers." Trying to figure out how that could possibly induce pleasure when I felt a presence behind me. I turned around and saw a man in his 50's watching me with a smile on his face, he winked at me and I blushed the shade of a fire truck and looked over at Rosalie who was skipping down the isles touching everything in sight.

"Rosalie! Why would you bring me here?" I groaned and tried to cover my blush as I desperately tried not to make eye contact with anyone.

"Because bell, if you're not going to have sex you need some release." She said as she pulled me towards another isle.

"There, pick one. Its my treat." She said happily. I looked up and saw the big sign over us.

_Vibrators._ Oh God.

Rosalie was grabbing things off the shelf putting them in her shopping cart as I eyed the vibrators warily.

They had one of everything; they had the strangest names. They even had a vibrating sponge for when you're in the shower!

I blushed. I couldn't possibly own one. What if Carly found it? That would be an awkward conversation.

"Rose, I can't get one." I said and to my surprise I sounded disappointed. After looking around I couldn't say all this didn't turn me on, but I wanted someone to share it with, not just me fucking myself while Carly sleeps. I shuddered at that thought.

"Of course you can bell! Don't be such a pansy." She said as she slapped me on the shoulder, I looked over at her cart and my eyes widened. It was full she had vibrators, condoms, lube and handcuffs.

"Rose, you and Em?" I asked as I ran my hand through my hair.

"Bell, we've been doing this shit since high school. Have you ever been in our guest room upstairs?" she asked with a smirk on her face.

"Um no?" I asked.

"Well, we keep our stuff there. This isn't supposed to be embarrassing bell, its just finding out what makes you feel good." She said as she smiled reassuringly.

"But you have someone to share this stuff with. I don't." I whispered sadly, this was more than being upset about not using toys; it was about not having someone to cook dinner for, not having someone to wake up next to, not having someone to wait up for. I didn't have that. I looked up at her with tears in my eyes.

"Bell, I'm so sorry, I just wanted to make you happy. Obviously I was wrong about that. We can go, just let me pay for this okay?" She whispered. I nodded my head and wiped away the tears.

We walked over to the cashier and Rose handed them her credit card and we left. Once we got in she looked at me and turned around. "Bella, I really am sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I just wanted to see you smile for once, a _real _smile, not the fake one you always have on." She said as my eyes widened. I never thought that Rose knew that I was unhappy, she never told me.

"He has my smile Rose." I whispered sadly.

"Oh sweetie, he's fine wherever he is. Don't worry your pretty head about him, if it was something serious I think we would know about that by now." She said reassuringly. I nodded my head.

She drove us to the mall for some "retail therapy" and I didn't have the energy to argue, I was just so tired, both physically and mentally.

-*-

I groaned as we pulled all our bags into the car. 'Shop till you drop' really was a true statement. I felt like I was going to fall over any minute. We visited every store and Rosalie bought me everything in sight.

Her car was stuffed with bags half of them were mine. Rosalie went into Victoria's secret while I went to the bathroom and bought me everything in every color available. She said it would make me feel confident.

We drove in silence to her house and I thought about Edward. I tried not to think of him but my mind kept going back to him. Everything reminded me of him. I was so worried about him, I just wanted to be able to see him, smell him, and feel him. Anything, I just wanted him near me.

We got out of the car when Rosalie parked in the driveway and we started moving the dozens of bags into my car. Rosalie bought me a birthday outfit but she wouldn't let me see it.

I walked into the house and saw that Emmett was fast asleep on the couch with Carly fast asleep on his chest. My eyes watered at the sight. Rose sighed happily and pulled me into the kitchen.

"He's going to be a great dad, you know?" I asked her. She ran her hands through her hair and sighed.

"Yeah, if he proposes." Rose muttered as she spun around to put some things away, knowing Rose she was avoiding the subject. I grabbed her arm and turned her around to face me.

"Rose, you know that Emmett loves you with all his heart, he's probably just waiting for the right moment." How could she doubt that?

"There is never a perfect moment, I just want his ring on my hand." She sighed again and I immediately grew frustrated.

"You know what Rose? At least he's here, at least you live with him and you know he loves you. You don't need a ring to prove that you're going to be together forever. He promised you that in the 3rd grade and he never left you. Isn't that enough?" She didn't understand how lucky she was; I would kill to have what they had. Rose looked up at me and pulled me into a hug.

"Bell, I know this Edward thing is hard for you, and I'm sorry for being so selfish. I just don't know how to deal with this." She smiled sadly.

"You don't have to do anything Rose, just realize that you're lucky and don't take it for granted because one day it might be gone." I whispered.

Rosalie nodded and started pulling out ingredients to cook dinner.

-*-

Once dinner was ready we woke Carly and Emmett up, after snapping a couple of pictures of them. We sat down at the dinner table and talked about random things.

"So bell, I was thinking you should give Jake a shot." Rosalie said as she wiped the spaghetti sauce off of Carly's face.

"Rose, I can't." I sighed; we've been through this. I knew Jake wanted more, but above all he wanted me happy, but I wanted him to find someone to make him happy. I didn't want him to wait because he could never have a chance, but I was too selfish to let him go.

"No, it's actually a good idea, hear me out. You've been going crazy about this whole Edward thing and you need something to take your mind off of it, maybe Jake could do that. You have to be ready to face the fact that maybe Edward won't comeback, and you can't live alone. You need someone to look after you, and Jake is perfect for that." I rolled my eyes at her. If only it were that simple. I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn't find any words.

"You're still waiting for him, aren't you?" She mumbled with a frown on her face.

"Rose, I'll always wait for him. I just can't move on. Its not fair, my heart is his." I said as I glanced out the window.

"Bella you need to understand me though, he hasn't been back in _years._ What was holding him back? Yeah you guys had the phone calls but why couldn't he come see you? And you have to face the possibility that he can die, wherever he is. You need to start living Bella, you're not living, you're just existing." Her words hit me hard, Edward could be dead and I would've been sitting here holding back something extremely important from him. I shouldn't have kept Carly a secret from him, it was selfish but I had my reasons, I couldn't tell him over the phone, if he came back I would've told him.

Should I really give Jake a chance? He wanted it, I knew that, but I was I ready for that? It felt wrong somehow, like I was cheating on Edward. But I'm sure he was with other girls. I really wanted to live, like Rose said.

_Maybe, just maybe, I might give Jacob black a chance._

-*-

I placed Carly in her car seat and prepared to drive home. I told Rose and Emmett about Victoria, and they were furious. Emmett's coming over tomorrow to install a security alarm and he said he would be over more frequently.

I was confused; I wasn't scared of Victoria by any means. She didn't come off as a threat. She kept saying she was doing her job. Her taking the pictures was creepy, but I wasn't scared of her. As long as I kept Carly covered she could snap as many pictures as she wants.

-*-

_2 days later._

I groaned as I banged my head against the table. "Rose, I don't want to do this." I whined as I looked over the books she brought. Seriously it was my 21st birthday, not my wedding. But Rose insisted this was a special day for me.

"Bella you only turn 21 once." She reminded me.

"Seriously, what are we going to do, its not like were going to Vegas or anything." I said with a snort.

Her eyes widened and she laughed. "Psh, yeah were definitely not doing that." She said as she looked around.

If there was one thing I knew, I knew that Rosalie was a horrible liar.

That being said, she was lying right now.

_Vegas here we come._

I stared at Rosalie in shock.

"You.. you can't do that!" My eyes were probably as wide as saucers. Vegas? Really?

"Um, yeah I can and already did. Its better than throwing a party." She said.

"Than what was the point of all this?" I said as I pointed to the pile of books on the table. She shrugged her shoulders.

"Distractions, but now you know so no complaints." She said with a smile on her face. I groaned and banged my head against the table.

How is this even allowed? I'm a mom, what was I going to do in Vegas?

"Do I really have no say in this?" I whined as I followed her out the door. She turned around and glared at me.

"Nope, none whatsoever." She said and kissed my cheek and left.

_Holy shit, I'm really going to Vegas._

-*-

_Ring, ring, ring._

I groaned and rolled over on the bed, seriously, who called at 8 in the morning, this was my "sleep all morning day."

_Maybe it's Edward?_ My inner voice reminded me and I grabbed the phone and put it to my ear.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Bells!" Jacob's voice said into the phone and I had to hold back the groan, I was hoping it was Edward.

"Hey Jake, what's up?" I asked as I got up and went to Carly's room. She was still sound asleep so I lay next to her and she curled to my side.

"Um Bella, I have to ask you something." His voice sounded nervous.

"Jake you can ask me anything." I said honestly. He saw me go through labor, there's no embarrassment between us.

"Bell, would you go on a date with me?" His voice whispered.

-*-

**Edward Cullen:**

I groaned as I rolled over on the uncomfortable bed and I felt the bile immediately rise and I found the garbage can and threw up.

I stood up and started walking around the tiny room, no windows, no T.V. just staring at a gray wall.

I heard people screaming, begging to be either killed or released.

I needed to get out of here; I wouldn't make it. I needed to go see Bella.

I've been stuck in this hellhole for 2 weeks figuring out the ins and outs of this place.

Right now, the big guy who I still don't know his name would be eating.

Maybe, just maybe if I got this right I could get out of here and never look back.

I felt my neck for my necklace; it was a sharks tooth. I had it on the day they came and took me from my home. Thankfully they never removed it. Whenever they came to check on me I would hide it. No one would take this from me. Bella gave it to me and it might be the key to my escape.

The doors locked from the outside, so I stuck the tooth in the hole and started wiggling it around, until I heard it, the click and the door opened.

I poked my head out, seeing if anyone was walking the hallways; they weren't. I quietly closed the door and started walking.

I desperately tried to ignore the screams of the other people trapped here. I made the mistake of glancing in one of the rooms and saw a young woman on the floor screaming in pain, she was lying naked her clothes on the floor ripped to shreds. She was banging her head on the wall and she turned and saw me.

She let out a blood-curling scream and that was my sign, I needed to get out of here now.

I started running down the hallway trying to ignore the pain on my sides, they fed us here, but I always threw it up after.

I heard an alarm go off and I knew I had to run faster, I was so weak but I would make it.

I kept thinking of Bella, her smile; her face; her gorgeous eyes that were an open book.

I turned the corner when I slammed into a something, or someone.

I glanced up; it was big man. I groaned internally.

"Not so fast Edward, where are you going?" He snickered. He grabbed onto me and threw me onto the floor, and pinned me down. I kept thrashing trying to find a way out.

"MARTHA! I FOUND HIM COME NOW!" He screamed and I heard tiny feet running.

I started tearing up thinking that I could never see Bella again. I had so many regrets, I needed to see her she was my everything.

I felt the woman grab my arm and I started sobbing loudly, still thrashing.

"Shhh, sweet boy, it'll be all right." She said, but she was lying, I wouldn't be all right until I was with my Bella. The woman poked my skin with the needle, she injected the liquid and I started feeling dizzy.

Big man grabbed me and picked me up and I tried to fight back, but every second that went by I grew weaker.

Until finally; I slipped into the darkness.

-*-

**AN: So we got some Rose, Bella bonding time and a freaking EPOV.**

**Reviews are better than Emmett and Carly cuddling on the couch!**


	9. Chapter 8: Memories, Airplanes & Vegas

**Disclaimer**- The only thing I own is an overactive imagination :)

**Chapter 8:** Memories, Airplanes and Vegas.

-*-

"Carly let's go!" I yelled from the doorway, Carly came running into the room wearing her yellow raincoat that was too big on her. She looked adorable. She ran out the door into the rain and hopped into the car.

I locked the door and walked to the car and buckled her in and drove to Mc. Donald's. To say I wasn't nervous was a complete lie. I was terrified. This could either make or break us.

During the drive Carly sat silently playing with one of her stuffed animals as I maneuvered through the downpour of rain. I listened as she hummed to herself and I smiled—I made my share of mistakes when I was younger but I was proud that I raised a happy daughter.

At the end of the day that was all that mattered.

Carly started bouncing in her car seat when she realized where I was pulling into, I laughed as she pouted when her bangs fell into her eyes disrupting her view, her bronze ringlets bounced right along with her. I pulled in and grabbed the umbrella and picked Carly up and placed her on my hip as I grabbed my bag from the front seat. I tried to block the rain from her so she didn't get sick—that was the last thing I needed now.

We quickly made our way to the entrance of McDonald's and I stifled a laugh at Carly's amazed face—no matter how many times we came here the huge indoor playground never ceased to amaze her.

I saw him sitting at a table that had a good view of the playroom and I knelt down and brushed Carly's bangs out of her face.

"Carly baby, go play in the play place, mommy will watch you from here okay?" I asked her with a smile; she nodded eagerly and ran off yelling a quick "Hi uncle Jake" as she dashed off into the play place.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair and walked over to him, I sat down not making any eye contact until I had to finally look up.

"Hey Jake." I tried to sound normal but I couldn't, I was so scared.

"Bells." He said with a smile.

"Okay, lets just get this over with." I said with a sigh.

"You don't want to date me." He said, and I heard the hurt in his voice and I felt horrible.

"No! Jake I do. But hear me out okay? I feel overwhelmed, to put it simply. With what's going on with Edward and raising Carly isn't a walk in the park and I don't want you to think I'm making excuses but are you sure you want me? I have so much baggage, couldn't you just find a normal girl without so many things going on?" I asked as I waved my hands around frantically—a tell tale sign that I was nervous.

"Bella, that's what I like about you, all the baggage, I love Carly and you know I'll always put her above everything but I think we deserve a little of happiness." He said as he grasped my hands.

"Yeah, you know I have feelings for you too. But Edward…" I said as I looked into his eyes, silently begging him to understand me.

"I know you love him bells, I'm not trying to replace him in your heart, just maybe you could give me a little space in your heart too?" he whispered and I looked into his eyes and I saw how badly he wanted this, and who was I to deny Jake? I wanted him to be happy.

"I want to be happy." I stated.

"Then let me help you, I can give you time, as much as you want. Just promise me one date?" he said as he smiled brightly.

"I promise." I was excited for our date, it could be next week, in a month, in 3 months, I knew I'd give Jake his chance. Because I never broke my promises.

He leaned over and I leaned in to kiss his lips softly, and it felt safe—comfortable.

-*-

I drove home in the rain, my thoughts were overwhelming me; I had so many things to do when I got home. I had to pack Carly's suitcase for her stay with Esme and Carlisle and I had to pack for Vegas, Rose, Em, Jake and I were leaving tomorrow at noon. To say I was nervous was an understatement; I never have been away from Carly for more than a couple of hours. I knew the whole time I was gone I would be worrying about her. What if she fell? What if she got sick? I loved my little girl and I couldn't stand being away from her for too long.

We walked into the house and Carly went to the living room to watch TV. And nap. I walked into her room and started pulling out clothing for her to wear. Shirts, dresses, pants, sweaters. Would it be hot? Would it be cold?

I couldn't help it but to think of Edward, is this what he did whenever he filmed a movie? I remember when he packed to move to California, he was going insane, he was so nervous. We fought a lot during that time, and I couldn't help but to remember our first fight before we were boyfriend and girlfriend.

_*  
__Bella's 11, Edward's 12._

_I paced around my room, silently fuming. My phone rang and I picked it up without checking the id._

"_Hello?" I barked into the phone. I sat down on my bed and gathered up all my textbooks._

"_Bella." My stomach twisted at his voice, it was Edward, my best friend. I had the biggest crush on him but I never told him. Why would he like me? A 6__th__ grader? He was a year older and he had the most gorgeous eyes I have ever seen._

"_I'm so sorry Bella." His voice whispered frantically into the phone and I suddenly remembered why I was angry._

"_No, Edward. Just no." I shook my head even though he couldn't see me._

"_Bella just hear me out!" he pleaded, but I didn't want to hear it; that's all I ever had to hear, his excuses. He was only around me when none of his other friends were there. And it made me upset, we grew up together I've known him ever since I was a baby._

"_Edward, I can't, why do you always do this to me?" I pleaded desperately trying to understand. I opened up my notebook and started doing my homework—alone._

"_Bella something came up." I snorted and I couldn't hold back my response._

"_Really? Is that "something" named Jessica Stanley? She's in the 7__th__ grade too Edward and you're never embarrassed to be seen with her." I spat back and threw my notebook on the ground; I couldn't focus anymore._

"_Bella, I have to tutor her…" I pushed my glasses up and ran a hand through my hair._

"_Yeah, right. Since when has she ever been interested in biology?" I scoffed and rolled my eyes._

"_I don't care when she did, but I have to help her Bella." I was jealous, I admitted it, it just wasn't fair, sure Jessica was prettier than me, but she was so mean and she knew I studied with Edward on Tuesdays and she just had to ask him._

"_Okay Edward, go ahead and help her. While you're at it, become her best friend too because you just lost one." I hung up the phone and threw it onto the floor. I grabbed my pillow and screamed into it. I knew I was being immature, but he never listened to me. He was always so busy with his other friends and he hardly had time for me. _

_I silently finished up my homework, it took me twice as long because I didn't understand the math, but when I finally finished I put it away and curled up into my bed and fell asleep._

_-*- _

_I was startled awake by a loud crash; and I saw a shadow moving in my room, I opened up my mouth to let out a loud scream but a hand clamped over my mouth._

"_Shhh, Bella, its just me." I heard Edward's voice whisper and I bit his hand and he immediately released me. I flicked on my bedside table and the light illuminated my room, I blinked my eyes and look at Edward._

_Seriously? Did he just sneak into my room?_

"_Edward, get out." I whisper yelled as I tried to push him away. He grabbed my shoulders and held me firmly._

"_Bella did you mean it?" his eyes were wide and frantic._

"_Mean what Edward?" I snapped, I was tired, hurt and mad._

"_That you don't want to be friends again."_

"_Yeah, I guess. I mean why would you want to hang out with me when there's Jessica?" I asked, he starred at me but didn't respond._

_I flopped back onto my bed and laid down on my side, Edward came around the other side and laid down, his head resting on his elbows._

"_Why are you here?" I grumbled and looked over at the time. 3 in the morning; seriously?_

"_Because you wouldn't listen to me." He whispered and I rolled my eyes. He looked exhausted and I felt bad._

"_Okay, talk." I said as I closed my eyes, he ran his hands through my hair while he talked and that tiny gesture reminded me why I had a crush on Edward Cullen._

"_I kissed Jessica." He said and I felt the jealousy rise in me, no one should be able to kiss Edward, especially not Jessica. But I couldn't let Edward know how it affected me. So I opted to act nonchalant._

"_I kissed Mike." I said as I shrugged. His hand instantly stopped running through my hair and I opened my eyes and was met with his angry beautiful eyes._

"_What?" I groaned and pulled his hand back into my hair._

"_You can't kiss Newton." He spat._

"_You kissed Jessica!" I whispered back._

"_That was different." He whispered-yelled back._

"_How?" I asked._

"_I was trying to prove a hypothesis." He stated and I rolled my eyes._

"_Okay, what was the genius hypothesis Einstein?" I snorted._

"_I- I wanted to see if kissing her felt the same as it was kissing you." His voice dropped and I felt the butterflies in my stomach take over._

"_That was years ago Edward." I mumbled. His hands stopped and I opened my eyes again, and he was starring down at me intently. I was lost in his gaze and he leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine. I pushed back against his lips and I felt the sparks. He pulled away slowly and we both inhaled a fresh breath of air._

"_Yeah, it still feels the same." He looked upset and I ran my fingers against his jaw._

"_Edward? What's wrong?" I asked hesitantly, his eyes held confusion and anger._

"_Bella, I just figured out I liked you as more than a friend, can you give me a second to adjust please?" he snapped and my eyes widened._

_He likes me! He liked me! Plain old Bella Swan._

_I nodded at him and scooted closer and hesitantly rested my head against his chest and his arms wrapped around my waist and he started tracing patterns onto my back._

"_I don't know what I'm feeling Bella, but I swear, we'll figure it out together." He whispered and I nodded, I was slowly drifting into a deep sleep._

"_Its you and me bells, you and me." Was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep with Edward's arms wrapped around me._

*

We were so immature back then, Renee caught us that morning but it was all worth it. We didn't start dating for a while after that. But I remembered that day because that was when he admitted he liked me, he was so confused, and he couldn't grasp it. We grew up together; he's seen me through my bad days and my good ones. That's why he was my everything.

After I finished packing Charlie came over for dinner. I started cooking lasagna.

"Smells good Bells." Charlie said as he walked into the kitchen with a bouncing Carly behind him.

"Thanks dad." I started grabbing the dishes and I set the table. Carly was being oddly quiet. I walked out of the kitchen and found her in her room. I sat down and pulled her into my lap.

"Carly baby, what's the matter?" I asked hesitantly as I ran my fingers through her soft locks. She had tears welling up in her eyes.

"Mommy? Are you coming back?" she asked, her lip was trembling and I instantly felt my heart being ripped in two.

"Of course baby, why wouldn't I come back?" I asked as I rubbed her back softly.

"Because, daddy left us. What if you don't come back?" she said frantically and the tears starting pouring out.

And at that moment I hoped Edward was alive, so I could find him and kill him.

"Baby that's different, daddy has to work, and I promise you I will never leave you. I need my Carly sunshine." I whispered and she smiled her crooked smile and my heart melted.

"Can I call you when I'm with grandma?" she asked her eyes wide with excitement now.

"Of course baby!" I said and I laughed as she jumped up and hugged me tightly.

I loved my baby girl.

-*-

"Okay, so you know to call Mommy for anything you need right?" I asked as I ran around the room grabbing my suitcase and buttoning up my jacket. Esme was already here and Em, Rose and Jake were waiting for me outside.

"Yes mommy." Carly sighed and I laughed, after I told her I wasn't leaving she calmed down and was pretty much forcing me out the house. She realized that me being gone meant sleepovers with the grandparents.

"I love you baby girl." I bent down and grabbed Carly into a hug and I felt the tears welling into my eyes. I really didn't want to leave her.

"I love you to mommy." She whispered and kissed my cheek.

I grabbed my suitcase and headed towards the door, I turned around to look back and saw Carly standing holding Esme's hand, and in the other arm she had her stuffed rabbit thumper. She smiled her crooked smile and I walked out the door into Rose and Em's waiting car.

-*-

I gripped Jacob's hand as our plane took off. I have never been away from forks, it was my first time on a plane and I was terrified.

"Bella, it's going to be okay." Jacob whispered as he tried to calm me down. In the back of my mind I knew we would be fine, but I was still nervous.

"Distract me please." I whispered as I tried to think of anything but the plane crashing. Emmett who was seated in the row in front of us turned around and smiled brightly at me.

"So Bella? Want to hear about your birthday plans?" he asked as he wiggled his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes. Rosalie reached behind him and smacked him in the back of his head.

"You will not tell her what we're doing tonight Emmett McCarty!" She seethed and he rubbed the back of his head. He smiled a mischievous smile and he leaned in to whisper something in her ear and she let out a giggle and blushed.

"Wonder what's that about." Jake muttered and I shrugged my shoulders.

-*-

After the first hour of the flight I plugged my headphones on and it soothed me. Jake fell asleep next to me and Rose and Emmett disappeared a couple of minutes ago muttering something about the mile high club.

I did not need to know that.

I looked out the window and my mind started wandering again, to a time when things were easier. When you were hurt you would run to your parents for protection and when you were with them nothing could harm you. Back to the days when it was easy to make friends and no one judged you, back when there was no pain, no betrayal, and no lies. When pinky promises meant the world to you.

I thought about Edward, how our friendship progressed into something more. How I swore to myself so many times that he was it, I really thought I was one of those lucky people, the ones that didn't have to have their heartbroken numerous time just to find the one, I found him. He was it.

And most importantly, I thought about the first day I met Edward.

_*  
Bella's 4, Edward's 5._

_I fell to the floor as Mike pushed me off the steps at the playground. Tears were falling out of my eyes because I got my pretty blue dress dirty and I knew mommy was going to mad._

_I stood up, brushing my dress and stomped my foot._

"_Mikey please!" I whined and pouted at him. He shook his head and ran away with Tyler and Eric to go play baseball._

_I walked over to the swings and sat down, I tried to stop the tears, mommy said big girls shouldn't cry. I looked up and saw mommy busy, she was talking to some lady, mommy said to never bother her when she talks to the grown ups._

"_Hey." I heard a voice behind me, I turned around and I saw a boy with funny orange hair and green eyes._

_He was so pretty._

"_Hi." I mumbled and looked away. He walked in front of me and stopped my swing._

"_Why are you crying?" he asked as he grabbed my face in his tiny sweaty hands._

_I shook my head and turned around._

"_I'm not crying." I whined again._

"_Yes you are, my mommy said when you see a pretty girl sad, make her happy." He said and I looked back up and he smiled at me, and I felt better. I wasn't sad anymore._

"_Mikey doesn't want to play house with me, and he pushed me." I said looking back down._

_He bent down and picked up my doll that was on the floor._

"_I'll play with you." My eyes widened and I stood up and hugged him._

"_Really?! I'll be the mommy, you be the daddy!" I screamed as I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the makeshift house._

"_Hey wait! What's your name?" suddenly shy I looked back down at my dress._

"_Bella."_

"_I'm Edward, it's nice to meet you Bella." His voice made me feel safe, only daddy's voice did that._

_-*-_

_I held the "baby" and Edward was sitting on the floor._

"_What should we name our baby?" He asked looking up._

"_Bella." I smiled._

"_No, that's not fair!" he whined._

"_Yes it is!" I pouted back._

"_Fine, make it Ella, E for Edward!" He smiled. I laughed and set the doll down._

"_Are we married?" I whispered and looked around, daddy said I couldn't be married until I was very old._

"_Yes we are!" He screamed! I looked down at my hand and saw no ring, I pouted. Mommy had a ring; she said daddy got her a ring when they got married. It wasn't fair._

"_Hey, what's the matter?" He asked._

"_I have no ring." I pouted at him and kicked the dirt._

_He furrowed his eyebrows—thinking about something. He smiled widely and grabbed my hand and pulled me up._

"_Run." He whispered and dashed off. I ran as fast as I could but I was too small! I fell on the floor after a rock tripped me. I looked up to see Edward still running, I called out to him but he didn't look back._

_I got back to our house and grabbed baby Ella, I wiped the dirt off my dress and bit my lip so the tears wouldn't fall. Edward left, he didn't look back, now I had no one to play with, Rosie was with her daddy and Emmie was at camp._

_I liked Edward; he made me smile and my tummy felt nice around him. He was my husband, and he left me with baby Ella._

_I let out a little whimper and couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I closed my eyes and laid down on the floor._

_I heard someone coming and I saw Edward._

"_Hey why are you crying?" He said as he sat down next to me._

"_You left" I cried, he hugged me and I felt better again._

"_I just went to get you a ring." I pulled back and looked at him._

_In his hand was a daisy, he grabbed my hand and tied it around my finger._

"_It's pretty." I said as I looked at it and smiled._

"_It's alright." He blushed and I smiled at him, we both stood up and kept playing mommy and daddy._

_-*-_

"_Edward, Edward honey it's time to leave." I heard a grownup call._

"_That's my mommy, I have to go." He said sadly._

"_What, why?" weren't mommies and daddies supposed to live together?_

_I looked up and saw a pretty lady with Edward's hair and his eyes; she smiled at me._

"_Oh, Edward, who's your new friend?" she asked gently, he grabbed my hand and pulled me up._

"_This is Bella, she's my wife." He said proudly and I blushed and waved at her._

"_Isabella! It's time to go home now!" My mommy's voice called as she walked up to us._

"_Mommy, I can't leave! I'm married to Edward now." I explained and grasped Edward's hand tighter._

"_Isabella, that was a game, it's fake. Come on now, lets get home." She grabbed my hand and pulled me from Edward. I let out a little cry and looked back to Edward. _

_He was running towards us._

"_Bella wait!" he said, and my mommy stopped. He walked up to me and grabbed my hand again._

"_Bella, I promise to marry you one day in real life." He bent over and kissed my cheek and I blushed._

_I was going to marry Edward._

_He made me feel happy._

_And he did weird things to my tummy._

_And he was very, very, pretty._

_*_

After that day we went back to the park every day, and we played house, each time we got pulled apart one of us would cry. I still had the flower in a box in my room, it was dead but I couldn't throw it out, it meant so much, for someone at the age of 5 to think of that, it was beautiful. And at the time I honestly did believe his words.

But I knew better now.

Our relationship was special—one of a kind. We knew what we were thinking before saying it, sometimes that could be considered good, but sometimes it was plain old annoying, he could read me like a open book. And we argued—boy did we argue. We were both stubborn.

I remembered one fight that led to our first breakup.

_*  
__Bella- grade 10, Edward- grade 11._

_I smiled as I set the pasta I bought from Edward's favorite Italian restaurant on the table. The table looked amazing, the plates were aligned perfectly with the silverware and the yellow daises on the table made everything look better._

_I glanced over at the clock and sighed and grabbed my phone. I dialed the phone number I memorized years ago._

"_Hello?" his voice answered and I smiled brightly._

"_Edward, can you come over after baseball practice?" I asked as I mentally calculated how long it would take him. Practice was usually over by 5 and then he'd shower and get changed so he should be here by 6. Charlie went on an early fishing expedition with Billy._

"_Sure, why?" I frowned slightly._

"_Oh, no reason.." I trailed off, hoping he would remember._

"_Oh, baby are you in one of those moods?" his voice dropped an octave lower and I rolled my eyes. Of course, Edward would have sex on the mind._

"_No, promise you'll be here?" I asked._

"_Yeah babe, no problem I'll be there at 6." We said our goodbyes and I went up to my room to get everything else prepared._

_This would be perfect._

_Just Edward and I._

_Celebrating._

_-*-_

_(9:00 PM.)_

_I groaned as I switched into my pajamas and washed the makeup off my face, my eyes were swollen from the crying I did, but I was past that—I was angry now._

_I walked back downstairs and threw out the uneaten pasta and garlic bread, I shut off the lights and slowly trudged my ways up the stairs._

_How could he do this? This day? He could've stood me up any other day but the one day I ask him to come he doesn't._

_I was beyond hurt, and I didn't really have it in me to fight anymore, Edward was so wrapped up in baseball; and I was pushed to the side—now I'm not a clingy girlfriend, I give him space when he wants it and I understand that sometimes he wants to hang out with his boys._

_But really, does it take a lot to pick up a damn phone?_

_I crawled into my bed and shut off the bedside lamp and snuggled into my blankets, I tried to stop crying, but I couldn't._

_I was tired of this._

_I heard my phone vibrate on the bedside table and I ignored it. I closed my eyes desperately trying to forget what day it was, and how I expected this night to go._

_It hurt too much._

_-*-_

_Thump._

_Thump._

_I groaned and rolled over onto my side, glancing at the clock; it read 4:00 AM. I chose to ignore the sound and continue to sleep._

_Thump._

_Thump._

_Thump._

_Oh dammit. I got up and went towards the sound; it was coming from outside my window. I lifted the window open and shivered slightly as the cold air hit my skin, I glanced down trying to follow my noise._

_And through the darkness I knew who it was._

_To my utter surprise and anger;_

_It was Edward._

_He looked up as he heard the creek of my window and he smiled brightly, as if it was completely normal for him to stand me up for a date._

"_Bella!" He screamed._

"_What?"_

"_Come downstairs!" He slurred._

_Dammit. He knows how much it makes me mad when he drinks. I felt the tears already forming in my eyes, this whole day was a roller coaster of emotions for me; anxiousness, anger, sadness and finally defeat._

_I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand and silently walking down the steps towards the door._

_I yanked the door open and Edward was standing against the mailbox, looking happy and relaxed._

"_Baby!" He slurred and stumbled as he walked towards me to hug me, I shrugged his arms off and starred at him._

_He seemed to have noticed my blank stare because his smile fell slightly and he raised his hand to cup my cheek._

"_Baby what's the matter?" He whispered and I smelled the alcohol on his breath and I snapped. I pushed his hand off me and walked back into the house, I heard his heavy footsteps following me._

"_I'm done Edward." I whispered, hoping to soften the blow, but I couldn't do this anymore._

_His eyes snapped to mine and I saw pain swimming in the depths of his emerald eyes. The eyes that could make me bend backwards and forwards, the eyes that had me falling for him over and over again._

"_What?" he seemed confused, I didn't want to repeat myself because I knew he wouldn't remember this in the morning. I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. I wanted him to leave before I exploded. I grabbed my car keys from the kitchen table and dragged him towards the door. His face was blank of any emotions._

"_How did you get here Edward?" I asked as I looked around for his Volvo, he was so drunk, he couldn't stop stumbling; I hoped he didn't drive._

"_Jessica and Lauren dropped me off." And that was the straw that broke the camel's back._

_I ran my hands through my hair and pulled on the ends; I was losing my mind. I silently walked towards my car and Edward followed. I hopped into my truck and shivered slightly at the cold air. Edward opened the passenger side and wordlessly climbed in._

_I put the key in the ignition; I was desperately trying to fight back the tears that were fighting to fall out of my eyes. I couldn't breakdown in front of him, I just couldn't. Edward had his eyes trained on the thread of his sweater; maybe he knew what was coming._

_I pulled out of the driveway and starting driving down Forks' quiet roads. It was eerily silent. It was the type of silence that you knew something life changing was going to happen._

_I pulled into Edward's driveway and shut the ignition off; I turned to look at him and he was starring into the darkness._

"_Edward." I sighed as I pushed him. He finally turned around and looked at me. I saw pain and sadness in his eyes._

_He pulled my closer to him so I was straddling his lap, I looked out towards the window and I felt his hand gently pulling my chin to face him. I hesitantly raised my eyes to his and at that moment, I knew it. He knew what was going to happen, he might have been intoxicated but he understood enough._

_He cupped my cheeks gently._

"_Bella, I love you so much. I don't know what I'd do without you. I know I fuck up a lot but I can't be without you baby. I'm sorry if I did something wrong, I'm so sorry and I'm sorry that I'm so fucked up right now. I love you baby." He whispered his words to me because that's all they were to me; words. He repeated them every time he messed up and I foolishly forgave him. But not this time._

_He gently kissed me, and I kissed him back, enjoying his taste and smell for the last time._

"_I'll pick you up for school tomorrow?" he asked with a cheeky grin, and I sighed._

_I shook my head and he didn't seem to realize it, he closed the door and made his way to the front door stumbling the whole way._

_I drove home in silence contemplating what I was about to do._

_I pulled into the driveway and walked into the house. It felt cold; I was alone._

_I hated being alone._

_I walked up to my room and grabbed my cell phone._

_I had to do it now._

_This would be easier._

_I opened up a new message and started typing._

_-E_

_I don't know how I should start this or way to say; but I can't do this thing anymore, you and me. It isn't working. You have baseball, and whatever happened yesterday was obviously more important to you then our previous plans. I know you were drunk, but really showing up to my house at 4 AM saying Jess and Lauren dropped you off was supposed to make me happy? You know my issues with them and I have no idea why you were drinking with them around anyway. Is it some cheerleading fantasy you have? You don't tell me how you feel Edward. Do you want this- us? It doesn't matter anymore because it's the same conversation over and over again. You say things will be different but they aren't. I don't fit in with your group Edward I'm sorry. But if you wanted someone that could you should've asked Jess out. She would've loved that. Lets make this easy, I think we're far beyond repair, so please don't try to fix us. It'll hurt me too much. I love you so much and I had high hopes for us, but I guess we all have different priorities. So, this is it.  
It's over._

_-B_

_I knew breaking up over a text message wasn't right, but I couldn't think straight around Edward, he'd dazzle me into doing something I wouldn't want to do. The tears were falling freely; I could hardly make out the words on the phone. I clicked send before I could chicken out._

_I curled up into my bed and cried until the tears ran out._

_Before falling asleep I whispered to myself "Happy Anniversary." _

_*_

Of course, Edward didn't listen to me. He called, texted and emailed me. But I was done. He stopped by a few times but Charlie didn't let him in.

Obviously we didn't stay broken up for long.

I smiled as I remembered our makeup.

_*  
__2 weeks after the breakup._

_I heard my bedroom door slam open and I ignored it. I closed my eyes and snuggled into the blankets around me._

_I was falling back asleep when I felt the blankets being ripped from above me and was instantly met with cold air._

"_Go away." I grumbled, my voice was thick with sleep._

"_Bella, seriously? Clean you're room, this is fucking disgusting." I opened my eyes and saw Jacob kicking the tissues that were thrown across my bedroom floor._

"_Shut up Jake." I groaned._

"_Bella, we're going out. Stop wallowing." I shot him the finger and rolled back around. I did not want to talk about wallowing with Jacob._

_I knew breaking up with Edward would be hard, but I never knew it'd be this hard. After a couple days of pursuing me, he just gave up._

_Ouch._

_Yeah, it stung a little bit—it actually stung a lot. But he seemed happier now; he hung out with his team and of course the cheerleaders._

_You can't forget them._

_Obviously Edward hasn't._

_Jessica and Edward seem to have become more acquainted since the breakup._

_I checked the clock, it was noon, and I slept for 3 hours. The nights have been hard, I was used to sleeping in Edward's arms, or hearing his voice over the phone on the rare days he couldn't come._

"_Come on bells, you're mom wants us to go to Eric Yorkie's party tonight." Jacob whined, and I smiled slightly, he's been so good since the breakup and he's been helping me and slowly pushing me towards recovery._

"_Sure Jake."_

_-*-_

"_Jake I don't know about this." I said as I glanced around the crowded room. I bit my lip as I desperately tried to pull down the dark blue dress Rose forced me into, it clung to my skin and it hung slightly over my knees._

"_It'll be fine Bella." He whispered reassuringly as he grabbed my hand and started rubbing soothing circles onto it. He led me into the crowded room and I glanced around, everywhere I looked people were making out or grinding on the makeshift dance floor._

_I gripped Jake's hand tighter as I realized some guys were starring a little too intently at me._

"_I wont leave you Bella." His voice held such promise and I believed him._

_-*-_

_I hate Jacob Black._

_An hour into the party he met a girl, and he left me to fend off Mike Newton's attempts to get me to dance with him. After denying him various times and telling him I wasn't looking for anything too serious when he asked me out on a date. It seemed as if he finally understood and he let me be._

_I walked into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and I was instantly taken back at the sight in front of me;_

_Edward sitting on the counter with Jessica standing in-between his legs; her hands in his hair._

_My hair._

_They were in a full heated make out session._

_Yup, that cracking you just heard?_

_There goes my heart._

_I want to run; leave, I need to do something to erase this memory from my mind. It hurts, it really fucking hurts._

_But then I remembered, I couldn't leave, I have no way to get home, Jacob is off with some girl and Rose and Em disappeared about 20 minutes ago._

_I slam the refrigerator door closed and sneak a quick glance at them, it's like a car wreck; you don't want to watch but you can't drag your eyes away._

_There faces are still glued together and it burns. I love Edward; I really thought he was the one._

_I was fucking naive._

_At first when he forgot our dates, I'd let it slide._

_But last week was too much._

_I quietly try to exit the kitchen and I hear a loud smacking sound and a giggle._

"_Oh hey Bella! Eddie look its Bella!" Jessica giggles and slurs. I turn around and finally after 2 weeks of avoiding him, I met his eyes. I stared at him and he could probably see all the hurt swimming in my eyes, because I wasn't pretending anymore, it hurt to see him move on so quickly._

_I shook my head and tried to exit the kitchen quickly, but Edward had other plans._

_As I walked into the living room I felt his arm grasp my wrist and pull me back slightly. The tears were burning my eyes and I didn't want him to see them so I kept my eyes forward._

"_Bella, look at me please." He whispered and I turned my head and raised my eyes to his._

"_How could you?" I managed to whisper and I felt the tears falling from my eyes. His eyes burned with anger._

_His grip on my wrist tightened—but not enough to hurt me and before I could protest I was being dragged up the stairs into an empty bedroom. I walked hesitantly into the room and sat down on the bed, I turned around to face Edward and I saw that he was leaning his forehead against the door and his fists were clenched._

"_How could I Bella? How could I? You fucking broke up with me!" He screamed and spun around to meet my eyes, he was angry, possibly the angriest I've ever seen him._

_I raised my hand to wipe the tears with the back of my hand and he let out a bitter laugh._

"_No, Bella, you don't get to cry. This is all your fault." To say I was shocked would be understatement; I mean really? This was my fault? I might've broken up with him, but it was reasonable._

"_My fault?! Really Edward? I might've broken up with you, but it took you 2 weeks to move on? That's great! Especially when you claimed that I was the only one for you. That's genius Edward!" I screamed at him, I was furiously wiping my tears away with the back of my hand._

"_Did you ever really love me?" I whispered softly to myself. My voice broke towards the end and I shook silently with the sobs that overtook me. _

_There was a long pause and I looked down towards the floor, I guess we really were done._

_I felt him move around the room and stop in front of me and I couldn't bring myself to meet his eyes._

"_Baby." He whispered, he sounded so broken, I took a deep breath to try to control the sobs and I played with the hem of my dress—anything to distract me from meeting those precious green eyes—the ones that could break my will and make me do whatever he wanted._

"_Baby please look at me." His soothing voice called and I hesitantly raised my eyes to meet his. He was kneeling in front of me and he gently raised his hand and cupped the side of my cheek, and I felt the spark I always did whenever he touched me._

_He gently kissed my tears away and rested his hand on my knee._

"_Don't, cry anymore please." I sniffed and nodded my head and raised my hand and placed it in his unruly hair, gripping it tight—not enough to hurt him, but enough for him to know that I needed him there._

"_Love, please don't ever, ever doubt my love for you." He whispered and I saw a tear slip from his eye. And I knew, right there that this wasn't some fling that we could both walk away from. It was forever._

_And if one of us had to walk away, the other would be broken._

"_How could I not Edward? You just walked away."_

"_I thought it was what you wanted." I shook my head._

"_No baby, I could never want that, you hurt me." The second I said that his eyes flashed with pain._

"_I still love you." He whispered fiercely and I knew he did. But sometimes love wasn't enough—but maybe for now it was._

"_I never stopped." He could see the sincerity in my eyes and he nodded his head._

"_Baby, exactly what did I do?" He asked hesitantly, as if he didn't want me to relieve what happened._

"_You honestly don't remember?" For some reason it made it worse knowing he was so far gone he didn't remember. He nodded his head and I bit my lip._

"_What do you remember?" I asked as I ran my hand through his hair as me made soothing circles on my thigh._

"_I remember going to practice, then next thing I know I woke up and saw your message. It nearly broke me." With each word he spoke you heard every ounce of pain._

"_Baby, what day was it?" I asked. He furrowed his eyebrows in concentration and when he finally realized what that day was—why it was special, he eyes flashed with anger, recognition, and the most dominant emotion—pain._

"_Love, I'm so so sorry, I remember the guys wanting to hang out a bit, and I figured, why couldn't I be a bit late? I never once looked into the calendar that day. I'm so sorry I missed our anniversary baby." I bit my lip and nodded my head. It still stung knowing he forgot, he forgot the day we met, that day at the park I ran home and asked my Dad to write the date on a piece of paper down and I saved it, Edward and I always celebrated in our own little way._

"_It's okay." I whispered and shrugged my shoulders._

"_No, its not okay, it'll never be okay, and I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you."_

"_Edward's its nothing, I overreacted, and you have more important things I guess." I just wanted to forget the fight; I was over it._

"_No baby, it is important, its just.. Ah, I fucked up so badly." He sighed and fisted his hand in his hair. I gently pried his fingers out of his hair and laced our fingers together and brought them down onto my lap._

"_Edward, its okay." My voice was weak; anyone could tell I was lying._

"_What can I do to prove to you that I really am sorry?" he asked desperately, and I had no answers, I had no idea what would fix this, maybe time? I shrugged my shoulders._

_Edward sighed again and his eyes shone in a different light, his jaw clenched and his eyebrows furrowed—he was determined._

"_I guess I'll try have to prove it to you that I'll always love you." He smiled his crooked smile and I was gone. That smile could make me do anything he wanted, and he wanted me, so I was his._

_He leaned in slightly and brushed his lips against mine, slowly. I felt the burn his lips left on mine and I knew I couldn't deny it any longer—we were made for each other._

_He moved his lips in a tortuously slow path across my jaw towards my neck. I let out a sigh and fisted my hands in his hair and pulled, he slowly slid up and pushed his lips more forcefully against mine, he leaned over me and I fell back onto the bed, he gripped my wrists in his hands and pushed me down further—he had complete control. And I loved it._

_He straddled me as he ran his tongue over my lips and I slowly opened my mouth and I tasted the beer on his tongue but most importantly I tasted him—it was Edward, my Edward. I let out a moan and he pushed both my wrists together and used one hand to hold them up, while the other traveled a slow path towards the hem of my dress._

_His fingers left a burning trail behind them and he pushed the dress over my waist and then he released my hands for a second and removed the dress completely. Taking advantage of my hands being free I quickly grabbed his dress shirt and snapped the buttons off and threw his shirt on the ground. _

_I ran my nails over his abs and I felt his muscles clench underneath my fingertips and I smirked up at him and our eyes met—I saw the lust swimming in his dark green pools, but most importantly I saw the overwhelming amount of love he had for me._

_I let out a low moan as he sucked on the spot behind my ear, he quickly removed my bra and panties and I groaned._

"_Edward.. you have too much.. clothes on." I said between moans. He let out a deep chuckle and removed his pants and boxers._

_I lifted my hips—trying to get closer to him._

"_Bella, I missed this—I missed us. Tell me you missed us baby." He said as he kissed his way down my stomach._

"_Edward.. missed you." I groaned out. I grabbed his hair and fisted it in my palms and he let out a husky moan._

"_Baby, I need you now." I whispered, he looked down at me and nodded and placed himself at my entrance. _

_He thrust into me and I let out a loud moan, it felt right being with him like this._

"_Bella, do you feel that? How perfect we are?" He whispered as he continued thrusting into me—it was almost too much, I couldn't form coherent thoughts._

_I didn't hear the music around me, I didn't hear the people talking downstairs, all I heard and saw was Edward's moans as he moved on top of me._

_I raised my legs and wrapped them around his torso making him push deeper into me. We both let out similar moans. I felt the coil tighten in my stomach and Edward knew it was coming because he started to thrust harder hitting deeper, hitting all the spots he only knew about._

"_Tell me you love me Bella, tell me it's forever." He said as he pushed deeper._

"_Forever baby forever." I said and then we both fell off over the edge together I let out a whimper and he silenced me with a kiss as we both fell into oblivion._

_-*-_

"_That was intense." He whispered as he wiped my bangs off of my now sweaty forehead. Still to incoherent for words I simply nodded my head._

_Suddenly realizing where we were I shot up out of the bed and ran up to grab my dress. I let out a yelp as I felt the soreness in my thighs._

"_A little sore baby?" He said as he put his shirt back on and laid back onto the bed. I flipped him off and quickly dressed back up._

_I looked into the mirror and groaned at my hair I had the ultimate case of sex hair._

"_Ugh, I looked like I just had sex." I whined._

"_You did." He said smugly from the bed._

_I went back over to where he was laying and straddled him. His green eyes widened in surprise and I held back a smirk._

"_I missed this so much baby." I whispered as I placed my forehead onto his._

"_Don't breakup with me again. Just don't okay?" he whispered and I saw sadness in his eyes and I immediately felt like a jerk. Why couldn't I just try to fix things? Why did I automatically have to run?_

"_I promise babe." Before he could respond I pushed my lips against his and smiled at the warmth that flowed through my body. His lips fit mine perfectly. I slowly pulled away taking his bottom lip between my teeth and tugging slowly._

_I smiled at the moan he let out._

"_Come on let's go, we can't have people looking for us can we?" I asked. He nodded and we stood up and tried to fix our appearances. But there was no hiding it—we both had freshly fucked faces._

_I grabbed his hand tightly in mine and we opened the door and to my utter surprise and horror Mike Newton was standing outside the door._

"_Bella? I thought you weren't ready for something serious?" he asked as he eyed Edward._

"_Oh don't worry about it Mike, she is serious about me and that's all that matters now." Edward said smugly before I could answer Mike back._

_Edward quickly pulled me away and we both left the party hand in hand._

_Together._

_As it should be._

-*-

I felt someone shake my shoulder and I shot awake and took in my surroundings, we were still on the plane.

"Bells, the plane is going to land in a bit." Jake said into my ear and I yawned and stretched. I pulled my seat forward and slipped on my shoes so we could get off the plane quickly.

-*-

Las Vegas, Nevada was..

Huge.

The biggest city I've been to was Seattle and Vegas was overwhelming the lights, the people—it was beautiful and I wish I had someone to share it with.

But I wouldn't dwell on that tonight, I made a firm decision to do my best and celebrate with my best friends.

Our taxi pulled into the hotel and my mouth dropped open in shock, Planet Hollywood?

I glanced over at Rose who was whispering into Emmett's ear and then at Jacob. He let out a low whistle and raised his eyebrows at me.

"Really Rose?" I whispered as the driver was handing us our suitcases.

"What Bella? If I'm doing something, I'm doing it big, there's no time to half ass anything." She said with a flick of her wrist. We walked into the hotel and my eyes were wide—drinking everything in. For the other people around me I probably looked like a child in a chocolate store. Rosalie walked over to the front desk and checked us in. Of course she reserved the biggest room in the hotel.

She was ridiculous—and I loved her for it.

Emmett was grinning widely and was basically jumping up and down in his spot.

I wonder why.

We took the elevator up to the top floor, and Rose and Emmett walked towards their suite and Jacob and I walked towards ours, which was at the end of the hall. We made it to the huge double doors and I looked down at the key to make sure this was the right room number and by the size of the doors I knew the room would be amazing.

I walked into the suite and my mouth dropped open in shock; it was for lack of a better word; amazing! It looked like the size of an apartment.

I put my bags down on the desk by the door and walked into the living room, the windows were huge and had an amazing view of the strip, I continued exploring and found a plasma screen TV and a large leather couch, I turned down the hallway and opened the door into the bedroom, where I saw quite possibly the largest bed on earth. I looked around and quickly hopped onto the bed—it felt like a cloud. I held back a laugh and opened my walk in closet and saw a robe already waiting for me. I exited the room and saw a mini bar, next to the foosball table and I continued walking. I walked into the kitchen and was amazed by the granite tabletops and stainless steel refrigerator. I kept walking further and found a game room, which had an air hockey table, pool table and a darts board. I walked back into the living room and opened the door I didn't see, it was the bathroom and I once again I was shocked, the bathroom held a granite two person sink and it was shiny and clean, it had a Jacuzzi which overlooked into the living room. Then there was a door next to the sink, which I opened and found a shower stall and the toilets.

"Bells?" I heard Jacob's voice call out from far away, I quickly walked towards his voice and saw him standing in the living room with the same expression my face held—excitement.

"Bella this is amazing!" he exclaimed and I eagerly nodded my head and walked back to where I left my bags, I noticed another door there and I opened it up and saw another room that looked exactly like mine—Jacob's room.

I walked back into the living room and threw myself down onto the couch and let out a sigh.

"This is unbelievable, I don't deserve this." I said to myself.

"Yeah, you do." I looked up at Jacob who was walking towards me with a beer in his hand and he sat down at the end of the couch.

"I really don't." I murmured to myself.

"Bella, you need to see yourself clearly, you're so selfless and you've helped Rosalie and I so many times, who would've helped me when I lost my mom? Who would've helped me when Billy got into the car accident? Who would've helped Rose when her father left her mom? Who would've helped Rose when her and Em got into that nasty fight? I can go on and on about how many times you've helped us and nothing we could ever do would match up to that, so please, no complaints and enjoy your night. You deserve it." he said with a wave of his beer and then he chugged it down, by the end of his speech I was in tears, amazed by his words and touched.

"Ah, I love you Jake." I whispered as I scrambled up and gave my best friend a hug.

I looked down as my phone buzzed and realized we wasted a half an hour exploring the room and the sun was already setting. I watched the sunset through the windows and I let out a relieved sigh, it was my favorite time of day, usually Carly and I would sit on the back porch and watch the sunset. I used that time to reflect on the day and think about what I would do tomorrow.

I looked down at the text Rosalie sent me and I got up and walked over to where Jake was lying down on the couch.

"Hey I have to head to Rose's room to get ready, I'll send Em over here so you guys can hang out. I guess I'll see you later." I said and bent down and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Bye bells." He waved and I opened the double doors and walked to the opposite end of the hallway.

As I was walking by the elevator the doors opened and a couple and two teenagers got out; I kept walking until I heard.

"Kelsey did you hear? Edward Cullen is on a romantic getaway with Tanya Denali, isn't that sweet?" The blonde girl asked her friend. I froze in my place and looked over at her. She had a magazine in her hand with a picture of Edward on the cover.

"No, that's not real." The older girl said with a roll of her eyes.

"Yes it is, the magazine said so! Apparently they've been dating for years."

Okay, that one stung a bit.

"No, how is that possible? Didn't he live in a town called spoons or something?" The one with black hair said.

"Yeah he did, but he never goes back. And God knows he gets enough time off." The blonde said with a flick of her hair, I felt the anger bubbling inside of me.

"Did he ever date anyone there?" The other one asked.

"No." The blonde said, she sounded like she was so sure of her self, like she knew every detail about him.

Did she know that he has 3 birthmarks going diagonally over where his heart is? Did she know that he was ticklish if you kissed the lower spot behind his ear?

She didn't.

I rolled my eyes and kept walking. I just wanted to forget. It seems like I could never get a break, there was always something. Edward was everywhere, on the radio, on TV.

Even though he wasn't physically there he was everywhere.

I was tired of hearing about his romantic getaway, which I knew was bullshit. I couldn't explain how I knew, but I knew he wasn't with Tanya.

I was tired of hearing about whom he was romantically linked to.  
I was tired of seeing him in clubs with girls surrounding him on magazines.  
I was tired of seeing him kiss other girls.

I wanted to forget about Edward Cullen for once.  
And tonight would be the night.

-*-

I walked into Rosalie's room determined to make the best of this night.

I was planning on getting drunk—piss drunk, the kind of drunk where you don't know what you did the night before.

I vaguely remember getting drunk once in high school, I just remember waking up with a raging headache and after that I swore off alcohol until I was 21.

I wish I could remember what I did; Edward told me it was hilarious.

I opened the door to Rosalie's suite; it looked exactly like mine. I walked into the living room and came across the cutest sight ever.

Rosalie was sitting down on couch watching TV and Emmett was curled up trying to fit his large body onto the couch and his head was lying in Rose's lap. She was absentmindedly running her fingers through his hair.

They were perfect for each other.

I walked over to the couch and threw myself onto the loveseat.

"Hey." I whispered, noticing that Emmett was fast asleep. Rosalie gazed down at Emmett lovingly.

"Hi." She whispered back.

"Should I leave? I can come back later?" I asked as I nodded at Em, he looked so adorable. He was always my protector, ever since I was little. I remember once in the 1st grade Jessica Stanley pushed me off the swings and I fell and scraped my knee and I was crying and Edward was sick so he wasn't there, and it was a real shitty day and Emmett walked over to Jessica and spit it her pigtails.

It was hilarious. He got in trouble for it later but he told me he would do it again. He always defended me.

The pregnancy was horrible—at school I was constantly harassed, degraded and embarrassed. People went out of their way to say horrible things to me, and they made sure I heard it.

I was always crying, I can't remember one day I didn't cry that year.

Apparently Mike Newton was disgusted that I was pregnant, or he was pissed that I never liked him. Either way, he went around spreading rumors about me.

It was worse because Edward left, so I was claimed a slut, for "going behind his back".

Mike would always sneer at me when I walked by, and I remember I walked by him once and he said something, but I didn't hear it, and the next thing I knew I heard a body slam against the locker and I looked over and say Mike being held by his throat above the locker by Emmett. Emmett then proceeded to punch Mike in the face.

It was funny because our school had one security guard, and it was a girl, so she didn't have the strength to pull him off of Mike. So all the male teachers had to gather around and pull Emmett off of Mike, and when he finally got off Mike was crumpled on the floor bleeding profusely out of his nose.

Needless to say he never bothered me again.

Emmett was always the one to make me smile through my tears he was my hero.

I looked back down at his sleeping face and I smiled. I loved the guy to pieces.

"No, its okay, he needs to get ready anyway, we have a lot to do." She said and she leaned over and kissed his cheek.

After Em woke up he grabbed his clothing and left to go hangout with Jake, knowing them they would probably start drinking.

The second Emmett closed to the door Rosalie grabbed me and dragged me into her room.

"What's the rush?" I asked as she pushed me to sit down.

"We have an hour to get ready and hit the club." She said as she rummaged through her suitcase.

I looked at Rosalie as she ran around the hotel room gathering things, and I knew, this was going to be a night I won't ever want to forget.

Like it or not.

-*-

The second I stepped out of the shower I was immediately assaulted by Rosalie who was wearing a bright pink robe and had her hair and makeup already done. She quickly pushed me into a chair and I narrowed my eyes at the two shot glasses on the table. I looked up and Rose arching my eyebrow at her.

"Bella, it's just a shot, you need a little liquid courage right now, I can tell you're scared." Rosalie said as she handed me the glass. I hated how easily everyone could read me, I could never lie and people could always read me like an open book.

I hesitantly reached for the glass and before my mind could make lists as to why or why not I should take it I raised the glass to my lips and threw it back feeling the slight burn the tequila made as it went down my throat.

"That's my girl." I looked up and saw Rosalie beaming down proudly at me. Then I realized why she pushed me to have fun. It must've been hard seeing your best friend you've known for basically your whole life go through a hard time. And she saw it all, she was the person I voiced my fears too, the one who stood proudly by my side, the one who would always pick up the phone when I called her freaking out, the one who helped baby sit when I had to study for an exam. She was my rock—without her I would be nothing. She was such a good friend to me and she always did what she thought would make me happy.

She wanted me to celebrate my birthday like I always wanted to, she arranged all of this, and she didn't have to, she was completely selfless and the best friend a girl could have.

So as she ran around the room gathering the makeup, hairspray and curling irons I promised myself to let loose and have a good time with my best friend.

-*-

"Open your eyes now." Rosalie said excitingly as I whirled around in the chair and stood up to face the mirror, Rosalie didn't want me to see my hair, makeup or dress until I was ready so I could get the "full affect" whatever that means.

When I reached the mirror I let out a gasp when I saw the reflection starring back at me. I was wearing a purple sweetheart strapless dress. It was beautiful and rested above my knees. It was party appropriate and made me feel beautiful; my hair and makeup added more to the look; I had mascara, and eyeliner on my eyes with a hint of gray eye shadow—giving off the smoky eye look. My hair was in loose waves resting over my breasts. On the top of my head rested a simple black headband.

The outfit, hair and makeup made me look beautiful.

I felt beautiful. I have never felt so beautiful—only whenever Edward told me I was.

But I was slowly learning that I could live without Edward, I felt beautiful without him.

-*-

"Are you ready to party?" Jacob slurred as he entered the suite I let out a loud laugh already liking the slight buzz I had going on.

Rosalie grabbed her things and we made our way towards the elevator. I stumbled slightly and had to grab onto Jacob to balance myself out. I giggled and looked up at Jacob.

I gasped when I saw his vivid brown eyes starring down at me. Has he always been so beautiful?

"Bells? What's wrong?" I heard him ask as he looked down at me. I bit my lip and looked up at him as I grabbed his arms tightly.

I had to fight back the urge to kiss him—that wouldn't do us any good. I shook my head slightly.

"I'm okay."

The elevator chimed alerting us that we reached the ground floor. The hotel apparently had a nightclub already in it so we were going to start off our night there and then wing it.

I was excited and ready to have a good time.

We reached the club and I heard the music pulsing around me and I saw the people dancing around me.

Rosalie grabbed my arm,

"Hey! Drink this." She slurred and I looked at the glass in her hand.

"What is it?"

"Long Island iced tea. Shit makes you drunk real fast." She let out a laugh and I grabbed the glass as she swayed.

Jacob pulled me out to the dance floor and he grabbed my body and pressed it up against his and surprisingly it felt nice being this close to a person.

After dancing to a couple of songs, Jacob spotted a blonde girl and of course he wanted to dance with her. I was feeling slightly winded due to the dancing and drinking and I felt thirsty so I stumbled to the bar. As I waited for the bartender to come over I watched Emmett and Rosalie dance- they were so intense, they never took their eyes off the other.

Many people that didn't know them claimed that they were only horny and in the relationship for sex—but I knew better. They truly did love each other. They've been together since the 7th grade.

Emmett treated her like a princess and Rosalie adored him. I was startled out of my thoughts by the bartender/

"What can I get you?" The black-haired bartender asked. I bit my lip; I didn't really know many drink names.

"Get the lady a screwdriver and a shot for me." I heard a deep voice behind me say. I turned and was met with deep baby blue eyes. I gasped as I took in the guy's face he had dark brown hair. His face was beautiful and I couldn't look away from his eyes they captivated me.

The bartender nodded and walked away.

"Sorry for ordering for you, you looked pretty lost."

"It's okay." I whispered blushing, I don't know what about his voice made me blush but it did. Maybe the fact that he had a nice southern accent and his voice was smooth.

"So, a pretty girl like you got a name?" My face lit up in flames and I nodded my head.

"It's Bella. Yours?"

"Alec."

The bartender reached us and handed us our drinks I hesitantly took a sip and enjoyed the taste.

"So beautiful Bella, would you do me the honor of dancing with me?" he asked—his eyes pleaded. Who was I to say no? it wasn't like he was a creep, he looked like a nice guy. I eyed him again grabbed my drink and grabbed his hand.

"Of course."

We reached a spot on the dance floor and he pressed his body against mine. He wasn't too close or to far away.

"So, who are you with?" I asked after the first dance.

"My buddies and I decided to come from texas. We needed a good time."

"I hope you're having one." I whispered.

"With you? I am." I smiled slightly and ducked my head to hide my blush.

As we danced the drinks came pouring in and we continued to get to know eachother, I learned that his family owned an animal hospital and he was studying to become a veterinarian.

I found it adorable that he was embarrassed of his occupation.

I told him that I had a daughter and I thought he would be repulsed but he was actually curious and I found that endearing.

Eventually I lost myself to the drinks and music.

-*-

**The next morning: **

Pain.

Searing pain.

I felt like my brain was waiting to pounce out of my body and I hadn't even opened my eyes yet.

I groaned as opened my eyes.

What happened last night?

The last thing I remembered was Emmett and Rosalie dragging me away from Alec as we went to switch nightclubs.

I remember a very heated kiss—and maybe some exchanging of numbers.

I went to stand up and felt all the blood rush to my head, I swayed slightly and grabbed onto the nightstand.

Something in the light caught my eye and I looked down.

To my surprise there was a silver band resting on my ring finger on my left hand. Before I could ponder that anymore I felt a draft and looked down and saw that I was naked. Then I looked at the bed and saw the sheets were ruffled.

I grew panicked as I glanced between the bed and ring.

The only thing running through my mind was;

What happened last night?

-*-

**AN: Oh, don't you love cliffies?**

**Reviews are better than waking up in Vegas with no memory!**


	10. Chapter 9: What happens in Vegas

**Disclaimer- SM owns all things Twilight, lucky bitch.  
**

*  
Why are these lights so bright?  
Oh did we get hitched last night?  
Dressed up like Elvis,  
And why, why am I wearing your class ring?  
Don't call your mother;  
Cause now we're partners in crime.  
-Katy Perry  
*

-*-**  
Chapter 9****: What happens in Vegas doesn't stay there?  
****Rosalie Hale****:**

I have to admit; I did a good job at picking the perfect hotel for our short stay in Vegas. Bella didn't know that we were only here for a night; we would be leaving tomorrow around noon. I knew that deep down she wanted to spend some time with Carly.

Watching Bella with Carly was amazing; it surprised me how much she changed the second she was handed Carly. She instantly became more mature and she had this fierceness in her eyes whenever Carly was hurt.

Bella and Jacob went up to their room—again another pat on my back for setting that up, and Emmett grabbed our bags and we went to ours.

The second we stepped into our hotel room I was slammed against a wall and Emmett's lips attacked mine.

"I'm so excited for tonight baby." His smile was so wide and his dimples were showing, it reminded me why I had a crush on him as a kid. I smiled as I thought about tonight—what would happen.

"I know baby, me too." His light blue eyes held such adoration for me and I didn't know why. How someone so calm and gentle chose me.

He pulled me to him and wrapped an arm around my waist leading me towards the living room, he sat down on the leather couch and he pulled me into his lap, "Let's watch a movie and wait for B to get settled in, okay?" I nodded and passed him the remote.

Eventually, he fell asleep with his head on my lap as I lightly scratched his scalp. I heard the door click open and I saw Bella walk through the door, her eyes looked at Emmett, then at me and starred at us lovingly. Sometimes it was hard to be around her; I knew how much she missed Edward and I felt like Em and I were flaunting our relationship with her—I didn't want to see her hurt.

She sat down on the couch beside me and bit her lip, "Hey." She whispered, obviously trying not to wake Em up, but honestly the world could collapse and he wouldn't even flinch in his sleep.

I looked back down at him, his face was relaxed and he had a slight smile on his face. "Hi."

Bella started to fidget in her seat—a sign that she was nervous. "Should I leave? I can come back later?" She pointed at Em sleeping and I shook my head.

"No, it's okay, he needs to get ready anyway; we have a lot to do." I kissed his cheek a couple of times and his eyes fluttered open and he sat up.

I told him we had to get ready for tonight and his eyes twinkled and he ran to the room and grabbed his clothes and some beer. I knew that he would be slightly buzzed by the time we were ready.

The second I heard the door slam I pulled Bella into our room, "What's the rush?" She whined as I pushed her into the chair.

She didn't know tonight's plans, only Em and I knew what was really happening tonight. It was important that we all followed the schedule. "We have an hour to get ready and hit the club." I told her as I pushed her into the shower.

As Bella showered I took a quick shower in the other bathroom, when I stepped out she was still showering so I opened my suitcase that was full of makeup and laid everything out onto the bed. I plugged the hair straightener into the outlet and as I waited for it to heat up I put on my makeup, my dress was almost the same style as Bella's but it was a light green dress. I put on eyeliner and some eye shadow. The hair straightener was hot enough so I straightened my hair quickly and made lose curls with the curling iron.

I was putting the finishing touches on my hair when Bella stepped out of the bathroom wearing one of the hotel's complementary bathrobes. She narrowed her eyes at the two shot's that were on the bedside table, she arched an eyebrow at me and I rolled my eyes, "Bella, it's just a shot, you need a little liquid courage right now, I can tell your scared."

I handed her the shot glass and she sniffed it and made a face, then she looked up at me and took the shot, I raised the glass to my mouth and I felt the slight burn the tequila made, I set the glasses down and smiled at her, "That's my girl."

I didn't want her to be scared, I wanted her birthday to be amazing. Call me selfish but I wanted to have a nice night out with my best friend. Watching her go throughout her pregnancy was hard, she had so many people tearing her down and I could tell Edward's lack of phone calls was killing her inside. Bella didn't know how many fights I got into senior year because I heard girls speaking badly about her. I just wanted her to have a happy memory when I knew she was having a hard time dealing with Edward's disappearance. Honestly, I could care less about what happened to him; he deserved whatever hit him because I knew whatever he was going through now isn't half as bad as what Bella had to go through everyday.

Bella and I chatted about everything and nothing while I got her ready, I missed us being like this; talking about stupid things and giving each other makeovers, just being best friends.

I didn't even try to hold back the smile I had when Bella finally looked at herself in the mirror, she was beautiful—she always was but tonight she looked genuinely happy and I actually saw her smile a real smile—she only smiled like that when someone brought up Carly.

She always thought she wasn't beautiful, but boys were always obsessed with her; she never realized in because she only had eyes for Edward but the looks she received from the boys at school were full of longing and desire.

We texted the boys telling them to meet up with us at the elevators and I laughed at Jacob already slurring his words.

The second we stepped into the elevator Emmett pulled me to his side, "You look so beautiful tonight baby." He wrapped his arms around my waist and I shivered at the feel of his lips on my neck.

We got a cab and as the driver drove us to the club Emmett couldn't keep his hands off me, "I want you forever." He murmured as he kissed my temple. My heart raced at his words and I looked over at Bella who seemed to have found a new fascination with Jacob's face and I leaned over and kissed him quickly.

When we arrived at the club I took a look at the line and rolled my eyes; there was no way in hell I was waiting, I looked at Emmett and rose my eyebrow at him, silently asking if it was okay, hit bit his lip and shrugged his shoulder, telling me to do whatever I wanted.

I grabbed Bella and quickly made my way to the bouncers. His eyes greedily took me in and I had to hold back the eye roll.

He licked his lips as his eyes zeroed in on my cleavage—pig. "What can I do for you ladies?" It sounded like he was trying to be sexy but it sounded like he had something stuck in his throat.

I stepped forward and placed my hand onto his chest, and I put on my best porn star voice, "Well, it's my best friends birthday, and we want to have a good time, but the line is too long, do you think you could let us in?" I purred.

He swallowed and then his face turned up into a smirk, "It'll cost you."

I looked back at Em, trying to plead with my eyes that he wouldn't make a big deal of this, he wouldn't meet my eyes and I could tell by the way that he stood that he was pissed. I sighed internally; I didn't want our night to end like this.

I smirked up at the bouncer and grabbed the side of my dress and I watched as his eyes zeroed in on my hand, I pulled my dress back flashing him quickly and I watched his eyes go wide.

His hands immediately shot out to the velvet rope and he unhooked it and let us through, "Have a nice night miss, if you need anything, feel free to look for me, my shift is over in an hour." I rolled my eyes and walked into the club.

I immediately went over to Emmett and placed my hand on his chest, "Hey." I whispered. He kept looking at everywhere but my eyes.

He gently pulled my hand away from his chest, "Don't Rosie."

"Are you seriously mad?"

He let out a huff and his eyes met mine and I was overwhelmed with the anger they held, "You know what's sad Rose, the fact that you have to ask if you flashing a guy to get into a club makes me mad." He rolled his eyes and walked away as I starred at his retreating back in shock.

I just wanted to get us in the club, I wanted us all to have a good time, and the night was already ruined.

I made my way to the bar and downed a couple of shots, my eyes searched the crowded club and I found Jacob talking with Bella and I ordered a drink for her and made my way over to them, I grabbed her arm and passed the drink to her, "Hey drink this."

She sniffed the drink and looked back up at me, "What is it?"

"Long Island Iced Tea, shit makes you drunk real fast." I let out a giggle and continued to people watch.

I spotted Em sitting at one of the couches by the DJ booth and I made my way over to apologize to him, however I stopped when I saw he had a lady friend.

"Excuse me." I cleared my throat; the bottle head blonde looked up at me and rolled her eyes.

"Yes, excuse you, were in the middle of a conversation here aren't we Emmie." She slurred and I swear all I saw was red.

No one but me called him Emmie.

I took a step closer to her and grabbed her arm that was lying on his chest and pulled her off the couch, "Um, excuse me? Maybe you didn't hear me correctly, 'excuse me' means get your dirty little hands off my man before I do it for you."

"Sweetie, you're a little drunk, maybe your boyfriend is somewhere else in the club, now run along." She waved her fingers at me and I swear it took everything I had in me not to punch her in the face.

"Um no _Sweetie_, get your fucking paws off of _my_ man before my fist comes into contact with your pretty little nose, I bet your daddy would refuse to pay for another plastic surgery. Looks like you've been under the knife quite a few times." I sneered.

She opened her mouth to speak but Emmett cut her off, "Crystal, I think you should leave." She pouted at him and when he didn't tell her to stay she huffed and stormed off.

I sat down on the couch next to him and turned my glare to him, "Are you kidding me?"

"She just sat down next to me Ro, don't make a big deal over nothing."

Now normally, I would leave it at that but the alcohol in my system was making me do otherwise, "No! Fuck you! You got mad that I showed someone my boob and you have some bitch over here wanting to ride your junk? Fuck you Em."

Emmett sighed, as I continued, "I just came over here to apologize to you and you already made a move on someone else? Is that why you won't marry me? Because you don't even want me?"

"Rosalie Lily Hale, shut the fuck up." He growled and grabbed me and pulled me onto his lap, I tried to struggle free but no one was stronger than Emmett.

He grabbed my face in his hands and spoke calmly, "I love you Rosie, I do want you; all the time, that girl saw me sitting and came over to speak to me, no big deal." He paused and looked at my cleavage before continuing, "But you flashing someone is a big deal, you can't just do that and not expect me to get mad, your body is something that you should only show to someone you care about; we could've waited in line—the wait would've been 20 minutes. You need to respect that I love you and I don't want you showing your body to other people."

His words hit me hard and I instantly felt the tears wanting to come out of my eyes, sometimes I forgot that Emmett was sensitive, he was usually just a big goofball, but whenever the situation dealt with me he was always one hundred percent serious. I felt a slight pang in my heart when I realized my actions hurt him, I always acted before I spoke and sometimes that led to serious drama; it was a miracle he still wanted me, I bit back the tears and pulled him closer, "Oh Em, I'm sorry, so sorry." I whispered as I kissed every inch of his face.

"Just don't do it again okay?" He murmured.

"I promise babe, don't talk to ugly skanks named Crystal anymore okay?" The jealousy in my voice was obvious.

Emmett wrapped his arms around my waist and I wrapped mine around his neck, he nuzzled his face into my neck and let out a sigh, "You Rosalie Hale, have got to be the most jealous girl I know. Baby, you have to know by now that I'll never leave you. I'm not like him, I won't do that to you."

I knew he wasn't like him, I just couldn't help but feel anxious when he talked to other girls, it always reminded me of my father, and what he did to us. I shook my head; trying to get those thoughts out of my head, tonight was about Bella.

"I know you're not like him. Just don't talk to pretty girls okay?" The desperation in my voice was evident.

I was never insecure around anyone but Emmett, I knew other boys found me to be beautiful, but their opinion didn't matter, only Em's did. I wanted him to think I was beautiful.

His grip on me tightened and he kissed my forehead softly, "Ro, when I look at other girls I don't see their faces. You're the only one that matters." His words always lifted me higher and I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man.

Emmett was such a kind, caring soul, people always grew intimidated my his size but he was the softest gentlest person I knew, he would protect the ones he loved with everything he had in him. And the way he spoke was beautiful.

I loved this man with everything I had in me, and if he didn't purpose soon I knew I would.

After sneaking some kisses and a few make out sessions Em pulled me up towards the dance floor, "Come on baby, let's dance." He wrapped his arms around me and I felt protected, like how he always made me feel.

-*-  
Once we hit the dance floor the music took over us and we danced, occasionally someone would ask to cut in but we turned him or her down. The whole time we danced we never took our eyes off of the other and you could feel the amount of love we had for each other; it was like an energy bubble around us.

My back hit the wall of the nightclub and I let out a low moan as I felt Emmett's lips moving down my neck. I fisted my hands into his hair and pulled his face up, our lips were like magnets instantly hitting each other.

Emmett pulled away and I let out a low groan, "Marry me."

I shook my head and tried to process his words, "What?"

"You heard me, marry me." He set me down and placed his hand in his pocket and pulled out a small box, he opened it and got down on one knee.

"Rosalie Lily Hale, I love you more than everything in this world, I'm sorry for the location of my proposal but I can't wait any longer, I've had this ring with me for quite some time, waiting for the perfect moment to propose, but every moment is perfect with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

I pulled him up and smashed my lips onto his, "Yes Em, yes I'll marry you." He placed the huge diamond ring onto my ring finger and pulled me into a deep kiss.

"I can't believe you said yes." He exclaimed.

"I can't believe you thought I would say no." I told him and rolled my eyes, he was honestly crazy if he thought I wouldn't want to marry him.

-*-  
Em and I sat back down on the couch and watched Bella dance with a guy, Emmett grew a bit protective about that but I held him back, she looked like she was having a good time.

I curled into Em's side and played with my ring. "You know I love you right?" I asked, because I certainly didn't tell him enough.

But I did love him, he was there for me when I lost my first tooth and I was freaking out and spitting out blood because Jessica Stanley pushed me into the door, and he was there when I lost the spelling bee and he comforted me and told me the words were stupid to begin with, and he was there whenever I was getting picked on.

He was always there. He held me when I cried when my father announced he was leaving my family for another woman, that really shook me, my parents were always so happy. I started to question my relationship with Em, if my parents who loved each other so much got a divorce, how could we ever last? But he was there, fighting with me when I told him we needed to breakup, he fought against it and never left my side.

He took me home every single day after that because my mom forgot to pick me up from school because she grew attached to her new best friend—tequila. He held me when I cried about receiving photos from my dad with his new wife.

He was there for me when Jessica Stanley started rumors that I had an eating disorder.

He was always there;  
And in my heart I knew he would always be there for me;  
for better and for worse.

And suddenly, I knew what I wanted.

"Let's get married right now." He looked over at me in shock.

"Rosie, didn't you want to have a big wedding with all that fancy shit?" I let out a laugh and shook my head, "No, all I need is you. If you're there waiting for me at the alter, then it'll be the perfect wedding."

"Okay, let's get married."

-*-  
Trying to pull Bella away from her friend was a bitch; she didn't want to leave. "Rosie no! I don't want to go, that's Alec; he has a horse." She slurred and I laughed.

"B, we gotta go." Jacob said as he pulled her arm.

"Let me say bye." She pushed Jacob off of her and walked over to Alec and to my surprise she pressed her lips against his, apparently a drunk Bella was a confident one.

"Alright let's go!" She yelled—poor kid was going to have a hell of a hangover when she woke up.

Em was already waiting outside with a taxi and we all settled in, "To the little white chapel please." Emmett called out to the driver.

"Oh my god! You guys are getting married, that's so beautiful, isn't it beautiful Jake?" Bella's voice filled the cab and I never heard her this loud before.

"Yes Bella, it's beautiful." Jacob sighed and Em barked out a laugh.

Oh, this definitely was a night to remember.

-*-  
"You know, if you don't want to do this now, I get it; we can wait until we go home." Emmett told me softly as we walked towards the door of the chapel.

"No Em, I want to be your wife. But if you're having second thoughts…" I paused, "NO!" He called out. "I just, I know we're going to remember this forever baby, and I want you to have your dream wedding."

"You are my dream Emmett."

-*-  
The wedding march started and I watched from the door as Bella stumbled her way down the isle—we probably should've waited for her to be sober to see this, but we had photographers and we paid to get the DVD, so she wouldn't feel too left out.

Both doors swung open and I took that as my signal, it was my turn to walk down the isle. I started with slow even steps but once my eyes met Em's all I wanted to do was be near him, to finally be his wife, to have him forever.

The Justice of Peace started with the opening prayers and I got lost in Emmett's eyes. I couldn't hear a word the Justice was saying, all I could see was Emmett, and suddenly he started opening his mouth to say his vows—he wouldn't let me near him when he was writing them so I was instantly intrigued.

"I, Emmett McCarty, take you, Rosalie Lily Hale, as the love of my life. I vow to be patient with you and the circumstances in our lives. I vow to be kind to all people we come across. I vow not to be boastful of our love our about our accomplishments. I promise to be proud of you, but not proud in love for though I will strive for perfection, I know I can never reach it. I promise not to be quick to anger, but to think before I speak and act. I vow not to keep record of wrongs; but to always keep the happy memories alive. Through God, our love will never fail." Emmett slid the wedding band onto my finger and tenderly wiped the fallen tears off of my cheeks.

I grabbed the ring from Jacob and took Emmett's hand in mine and began to say my vows, "I, Rosalie Lily Hale, take you Emmett McCarty, to be my husband; my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever. I will trust you and honor you; I will laugh with you and cry with you. I will love you faithfully, through the best and the worst, through the difficult and the easy. What may come I will always be there. As I have given you my hand to hold, so I give you my life to keep."

I slid the ring onto his finger and brought his hands up to my face and quickly kissed his palm.

The Justice of Peace cleared his throat, "Do you Rosalie Lily Hale, take Emmett McCarty to be your lawfully wedded husband, and do you promise before these witnesses, to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health; for as long as you both shall live?"

I looked up at Em and smiled, "I do."

The Justice pointed towards Emmett, "Do you Emmett McCarty, take Rosalie Lily Hale to be your lawfully wedded wife, and do you promise before these witnesses, to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health; for as long as you both shall live?"

Emmett cleared his throat and gazed down at me, "I do."

"I know pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride." Before the Justice finished his words Em already had his lips on mine and my tears were flowing freely.

"You're my wife now." I nodded my head, "You're my husband." His smile was so wide I thought his face was going to split in two.

He grabbed my hand and kissed the two rings that would rest on my ring finger forever. "When we get home I'll buy you a better one." He promised.

I shook my head at him, "No, I want this one, it's perfect."

I heard someone sniffling and turned and saw Bella with makeup running down her cheeks—oh Bella.

"B, what's wrong?" Em asked as he pulled her into a hug.

"You guys are married now, and you won't be around anymore." She wailed; Em looked at me in shock.

"B, we'll be around forever." Emmett reassured her but her cries continued to increase.

"What do I do?" Emmett whined and I rolled my eyes and made my way over to the cash register.

"Hi, can I buy an extra wedding band please?"

-*-  
**The next morning.**

I rolled over onto my side and I felt Emmett tighten his hold on me.

"Mornin' baby." He kissed my temple.

"Mmm, good morning." I snuggled onto his chest.

He stretched and let out a loud yawn, "I feel like I'm on top of the world."

I sat up and placed my left hand over his heart, when I felt his steady heartbeat I smiled, "Yeah, me too."

We laid in comfortable silence, just enjoying the feel of the other each other, "I want to have a baby soon." I looked at him and bit my lip hoping he would agree.

"Yeah?" He asked.

I nodded, "Mhm, I want to have a little blonde haired boy with his daddy's dimples running around the backyard." I told him, picturing the scene in my head.

"I want that too."

I sat up quickly the blankets falling off of me and exposing my naked chest, "Seriously?"

Emmett's eyes zeroed in on my chest and he reached out to touch me but I smacked his hand away, "Of course Ro, I want to have a little girl that looks just like you."

"So, we can start working on having a baby soon?" I was excited at the idea of having what Bella had, the bond she had with Carly was simply one of a kind and I yearned to have that.

"Whatever you want baby."

I laid back down next to him and smiled at the thought of us having a little boy.

Loud, obnoxious knocking disturbed me from my thoughts and I groaned and pulled my robe on and threw Em his boxers. I went to the door and found a disheveled looking Bella biting her lip.

"B? Come in." I motioned for her to walk in and I went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water and some Tylenol because I knew she had a raging headache. I handed the bottle and pills to her and she mumbled a 'thank you' and took it.

"What's wrong Bella?" Her body language screamed panicked.

"Ro, I think I got married last night." She whispered with wide eyes. I looked down at her ring and burst out laughing.

"What the fuck?" She yelled and threw a pillow at me.

"I'm sorry… it's just that… you.. married…" I paused and took a deep breath hoping that my laughter would subside. "Bella, I can assure you, you didn't get married last night."

She got up and started pacing the room, "Explain this then!" She yelled and showed me the wedding band and I rolled my eyes at her.

-*-**  
****Bella Swan****:**

"And that's what happened." Rosalie finished telling me the details of last night.

"So, you bought me a ring because I started crying about you leaving me?" I asked.

Rosalie let out a giggle and nodded her head. "Yup."

"And me waking up naked?"

"Skinny dipping." She answered.

"No way!" There was no way in hell I got naked around Em and Jake.

"Yes Bella. I believe alcohol is not your friend, you do some crazy shit when you're drunk." I shot her a glare.

"Congrats on marrying Em by the way. Wish I could remember." I mumbled.

"Oh don't worry, we have it all on tape. Including your cries about being alone forever and having twenty-seven cats." She smirked and I punched her.

"Shut up!" I whined. Emmett walked into the room and smiled at me.

"Hey wife number two; looks like we're together forever." He sang as he showed me his wedding band. I groaned and flipped him the bird.

I had a feeling they would never let me live this down.

My phone rang on the table beside me and I grabbed it, "What?" I barked into the phone.

"Bella?"

I froze and my mouth dropped open in shock, Rosalie looked at me in alarm.

"Bella, what is it?" She asked.

"Bella?" The voice on the phone called out again. I covered the receiver and looked over at Rose.

"Rose, its Edward."

**-*-  
****AN:**

**Fic recs- Thursday nights by devynx3**

**Reviews are better than having a spontaneous wedding in Vegas!**


	11. Chapter 10: What is 'here?

**Disclaimer- SM owns all things Twilight, lucky bitch.  
**

*  
I sold my soul to the open road,  
You'll find me in the same spot believe me,  
I could never stop, my life's turned upside down.  
Meet me out past the train tracks, I'm leaving and not coming back.  
You're right and I was wrong.  
This town will be the downfall of us all.  
-A Day to Remember.  
*

**-*-  
Chapter 10: ****What is 'here'?  
**

**Edward Cullen:**

I leaned back against the cold concrete walls, letting them envelope me as I threw a stress ball at the floor. This was the only source of entertainment I had here; no TV, no radio, no phones. _They_ didn't want us to have access to the outside world, not many people knew about this place and they enjoyed that. _They_ wanted to be kept out of the public's eye, so they locked us away from everyone; our friends, our family—our loved ones.

They kept me locked in this cold, damp room. I had no idea where I was, and who these people were. Its not like they answered my fucking questions, I wanted out of here; that's what I was sure of. The screams of other people were too much to handle at night, the whimpering, the cries, the begging to be released; it was all too much.

They told us it was for the better, that maybe I'd see my friends one day. I couldn't help but to think about Bella. Being here; all day, having no interaction with anyone other than Big Man and Martha left me with time to think. Time to go back and analyze the wrongs I made in our relationship. It was always me—Bella was so _perfect_ and it seemed like the only thing I could do was make her cry. Something about her drew me in, from the moment I saw her, I knew right then, standing in a playground, I knew she was it. She never saw the bad in a situation, only the good. I wondered if she missed me when I left. She probably didn't since she all but pushed me out the door.

She pushed me into this life and sometimes all I wanted was out.

Whenever I spoke to her or saw her, she would cause something to ignite deep within me, she made me feel like that little boy that fell head over heels for her at the tender age of five.

Working up the nerve to ask Bella out was a difficult task, being a teenage boy and having friends who were more experienced I was afraid of being denied. Bella terrified me, she was forever and I saw it and that thought alone thrilled and terrified me. She was delicate and needed to be handled with extreme care, although she swore that she didn't need anyone to look after her, she did. And who was I to protect her? I was a gangly awkward 14-yearold boy. The person she looked up to for protection was the chief of police, how could I ever own up to that? When I stepped in Charlie handed me over the reins, but of course not without a decent interrogation.

Asking Bella's father for permission to take Bella out was one of the scariest things I've done.

_-*-  
__I ran my hands through my hair in a desperate attempt to fix my hair. However, it was hopeless, I sighed and leaned back against the leather seats of my mom's car. "Edward, honey it'll be fine." My mom tried to reassure me as she drove down the streets of Forks._

_We pulled up in front of the Swan's residence and suddenly I felt like I couldn't breathe. I shakily opened the car door and stepped out and walked towards the front door of the Swan's house, before I raised my hand to knock on the door I looked back at my mom, who gave me a thumbs up. I knocked twice and when Charlie opened the door I had to remind myself that I could do this._

"_Cullen, Bella's not here." His gruff voice informed me._

_I glanced down at the floor and cleared my throat, "Actually sir, I was hoping to speak to you."_

_Charlie seemed curious and pushed the door open further and I closed the door behind me and followed Charlie silently into kitchen. I saw the gun on the table and my eyes widened and I glanced at Charlie, he stood at the head of the table motionless, I nodded quickly to myself and sat down on the chair to the left of him_.

_"Chief Swan, as you know, I'm Edward Cull-" _

_"Edward, I used to change your diapers, cut the bullshit." He interrupted me before I could finish; I nodded again and wiped my forehead of the sweat that was already beginning to form.  
_

_I loosened the ridiculous tie that my mother made me wear.  
_

_"Well, I'm here to request your permission." My voice cracked slightly at the end and if this was for anyone but Bella, I swear I would've left, but alas, it was for Bella.  
_

_"Permission for what?" He asked as he grabbed his beer bottle and took a swig of it.  
_

_"Well sir I'd like to take your daughter out onadate." I mumbled the last part.  
_

_I was startled by Charlie's exclamation. "Well I'll be dammed! Edward Cullen wants to take my only daughter out on a date!" He let out a gruff laugh.  
_

_"Yes sir, you see over the years I've realized that Bella is more than a friend to me and I'd like the opportunity to explore that further" I said gaining courage with my words.  
_

_"What makes you worthy?" _

_I blanched. "Excuse me?" I asked not understanding his words. _

_"What makes you worthy of dating Bella?" He repeated and grabbed the gun on the table and began to examine it.  
_

_I pulled on the tie again and reached into my pocket and pulled out the scrap of paper I had in there.  
_

_"Well sir, I have straight A's in all my honors classes, I have never gotten a detention, and I care about Bella sir, a lot." I slid my report card over to him, and he glanced down at it and pushed it back my way. _

_"Really, didn't seem like it a couple of summers ago, the bicycle incident?" He smirked and I grew flustered trying to find a way to fix this before it grew worse. _

The damn bike incident.

_"Sir, I was immature back then and Bella has forgiven me."_

_"Well I haven't, look kid, you have one shot, you're a good kid and I trust you 'cause Carlisle and Esme have taught you up correctly unlike the other hooligans in this town, but you have one chance, that girl comes home crying, her grades slip, she has one scratch on her and I'll find you, I have deputies all over the county that owe me some favors, don't test me boy."_

"_I'll never let any of that happen sir." I said as I tried to hold in my grin.  
_

"_Well, we'll see, now go, Bella is due back home anytime." _

_I stood up almost knocking over the chair with me and reached forward to grab his hand. "Thank you sir, you won't regret this."_

"_Yeah I better not Cullen." His voice called before I left the room. The second my hand reached the doorknob I let out a sigh of relief. _

_I got Charlie's approval, now all I needed was Bella's.  
-*-_

The door to the 'room' was suddenly slammed open and the bright light that radiated behind the door stunned me—I wasn't allowed out, they said I wasn't ready to interact with the others, especially after my failed escape.

Big Man stood at the door glaring down at me, with his fists clenched; shoulders set, eyes scanning the room—ready for a fight.

"Gonna behave yourself?" His gruff voice filled the room and bounced off the walls.

I narrowed my eyes at him, "You gonna let me leave today?" I folded my arms, hoping that he would just let me leave this hellhole.

His laughter instantly filled the room, "Not yet movie star, you ain't ready yet. However, you're allowed to mingle today." Towards the end his voice turned into a slightly cheerful tone. Like I should be happy to sit outside with other people and 'mingle.'

_Uh, I really don't fucking think so._

I sat back down on the cot and begun to throw the stress ball "Um, I rather not, thanks." I replied without taking my eyes off the ball, I waved him away fully expecting him to turn around and leave. But I was shocked to find that he didn't, I glared at him as I continued to throw the ball up in the air, I threw it up once more and his giant paw like hand caught the ball and slammed it harshly to the ground.

"Listen movie star, you ain't in Cali no more, here I run things; so you do as I say. We all got our own issues here; no one gives a rat's ass about whom you are and where you're from. You have about two seconds to get your ass of that bed or you'll be thrown in isolation for two weeks, and you best trust that by the time week one is over your sorry ass will be _begging_ to get out. You need to mingle to get outta here."

At his words I instantly shot up, "So I can get out of here eventually?"

Big Man's dark eyes turned cold as he responded, "Maybe."

-*-  
"Ay Movie star what got you into a fine establishment like this?" A gangly older man shouted as I walked past his room towards the courtyard.

Big Man was following me silently—he wasn't a man of many words; we reached the end of the corridor and in my peripheral vision I saw a young girl probably in her early 20's rocking back and forth in pain, and she was mumbling to herself.

Big Man stepped up to her and she instantly stopped rocking, "Bree, it's okay; do you need to go back to your room?"

His voice was gentle and soft and she instantly stood up with the help of Big and hugged him. "I need…. I need…" She mumbled into his shirt.

Big rubbed his hand down her back in a soothing gesture, "You don't need anything baby girl, you're just fine. Now go back to your room, I'll tell Martha you're not up for today's activities." Her tears stopped and she smiled shyly at Big as she quickly scurried away.

I stood there starring dumfounded at Big. "What?" He barked; his angry demeanor was back.

"You're nice to her."

BM scoffed, "What's it to you?"

I rolled my eyes; "You're a dick to me"

"Well you _are _a dick, movie star. I treat people based on their personality, no use wasting away my kindness on a prick huh?"

His smug tone set me off, "You don't fucking know me." I spat, fists clenched, trying to control the overwhelming rage that came over me.

BM sauntered over to me, "Oh movie star, I do know you. I know you're kind, you rich folk think you're better than everybody just 'cause you got a bit of cash. You think just 'cause you're famous people need to bow down at your feet. But this," He paused for a moment and gestured for me to look around, "Consider this your wake up call."

"So that's what this place is then huh? A place where you come when you need a reality check?"

"No Hollywood, you'll figure out what this place is soon enough."

-*-  
I blocked the sun with my arm, "Damn where the hell am I?" the sun was scorching hot and the sweat was pouring off of me.

"Phoenix, Arizona." A small fragile looking woman said from my right, she was fanning herself with a magazine.

I let out a low whistle, "Damn, how'd they get me all the way over here?"

"They drug you." I nodded my head—of course.

"What are you here for?" She asked as she cocked her head to the side.

"What is here?"

She stood up and I noticed the dark circles beneath her eyes, "Here is whatever you need it to be."

She passed her hand to me—an offer to shake, "I'm Heidi, and you are?"

I tried to hold back the scoff that threatened to escape me.

_Everyone knew Edward Cullen._

"You seriously don't recognize me?" I barked out a laugh, who didn't know me? I was on the cover of magazines left and right, I was on billboards, Edward Cullen was a household name.

Her blues eyes searched mine, "No, I'm sorry I don't." She narrowed her eyes at me—concentrating and I could tell she truly didn't recognize me.

"I'm Edward Cullen, you know; the movie star." I was waiting for recognition to shine in her eyes but she only appeared to be more confused.

"I'm sorry, back home I'm not allowed to watch television." She murmured softly.

"What do you mean not allowed?" I pursed my lips, she looked to be in her mid 20's; surely she could make her own rules. . .

"I don't understand." She glanced around the field and began to pull on the sleeves of her cardigan.

"My boyfriend," She paused and shook her head, "My ex-boyfriend didn't like me to watch television."

It finally clicked in my mind; her voice was soft, timid almost, the way she pulled on her sleeves, she wasn't allowed to watch T.V, she wasn't allowed to make her own decisions.

_She was abused._

"Is that why you're here?" She nodded her head swiftly, her eyes on the ground the whole tome.

Anger boiled inside of me, all I saw was red; I couldn't think—couldn't speak.

The only thought running through my mind was that I didn't belong here, with these people.  
I wasn't like them, I wasn't crazy, I wasn't abused.  
I wanted to get out of here, these people took me away from my home, my friends—my life, and all I wanted was to go back.

I began running towards the entrance of the building; I wanted answers, and I wanted them _now_, the anger inside of me was still boiling—still intensifying with each step that I took. Big Man was leaning against the doorframe, when he saw me running he became more alert, by the time I reached him I was panting for air—when did I become so out of shape? I doubled over—gasping for air, my stomach was clenching painfully.

Big Man slapped my back, which made me groan in pain, "You alright there Cullen?" sarcasm was laced behind his voice, I couldn't respond because I felt so sick.

Once I pulled myself together I stood up and looked BM in the eye, "I want to go home."

Big Man starred down at me and smirked, "It hurts doesn't it?" He asked, completely ignoring me.

My head was pounding—the anger was pounding against my skull. I closed my eyes briefly in a desperate attempt to control the red haze of anger, "What are you talking about?" I growled out.

He shook his head and clasped his hand over my shoulder and dragged me inside towards what seemed to be a nurses' station. Peeking inside I saw a young teenage girl sitting on a cot, crying.

Big Man pushed me against the wall, "Wait here." He mumbled and rushed into the room. I heard muffled noises and a door close.

BM came back out and roughly grabbed my shoulder. Was it me, or was his hand getting heavier with each passing second?

We walked into the room and I was right; it was a nurses' station, one wall consisted of medicine, the next syringes; the room had several doors, and BM pushed me towards one of them, "Casey, get me a glass of water and bring it to room two, asap." He called out as he unlocked one of the doors.

Once the door was unlocked I peered inside and saw an empty room with a cot in the middle, the room felt cold and lonely. I hesitantly stepped inside and made my way towards the tiny cot, I laid down on it and although it was hard against my back it felt nice; my muscles were aching.

_What the hell was wrong with me?_

I heard movement and I peered one eye open, Big was at the door smirking at me, I wanted to snap at him to stop but I was too tired to voice my opinion.

The door opened once again and I saw a nurse walk in, she looked to be about Alice's height.

_Alice._

I wondered how she was; the day they took me I was supposed to meet up with her for an early breakfast before heading over to the office to pick up a new script.

She probably thought I blew her off. . . again.

Although she was only two years older than me, she treated me as if I was her much younger sibling, she looked out for me, and she knew shit; she would always have a freaky way of guessing what would happen; whether it be if I got the role I wanted, or who would be my co-star, or what we would eat for lunch.

Freaky.

When I first met her on set while she was visiting Jasper she shook my hand and said, "Don't worry you'll make it in this business, even if its not what you really want." To say I was shocked and weirded out was an understatement.

However, meeting Alice and Jazz has been one of the best things that has happened to me, when I met them it was my first time on a real movie set, I was doing the occasional soap opera and photo shoot, but this was real.

I was nervous, I had Jasper, Hollywood's big shot actor as my co-star and I thought I wouldn't measure up next to him, but Jazz quickly showed me the ropes of the acting business.

I hoped they were both okay, maybe they were looking for me. I doubted that, I was known for disappearing on random occasions, just to relax, so they probably thought I was in need of some down time.

Big M grabbed the cup from the Alice-like nurse and he shut the door behind her, "Take this." He mumbled.

I grabbed the cup and peered down at it, it was a colorless liquid—water. I scoffed.

"Got a problem their movie star?"

"Water? Seriously, water is supposed to make me feel better?" I took a sip and glared at BM couldn't he give me some medicine of something, they had a shit load of pills.

"Sorry Hollywood, we can't give you any medicine until you admit that you need help."

"I don't need help, what I need is a fucking aspirin."

Big Man slapped his hand to his leg, "Well, we can't give you one movie star, so if you're feeling up to it feel free to go back to your room, when you're ready to admit you need help and trust me you will; we'll give you some medicine, but as for now; you're dismissed." He waved his hand at me as a dismissal.

I shakily got pushed myself off the cot and had to bite back the groan when my muscles screamed in protest. When I stood up I had to close my eyes to keep the room from spinning, I heard a slight snicker from across the room and I opened my eyes and glared at BM.

He walked over to me and slapped me on the shoulder, "It hurts doesn't it? I bet you don't know what the fuck is happening to you, I bet your muscles are aching and all you want to do is sleep, I bet you're brain feels like its about to pound out of your skull, I bet you're anger is surfacing and all you see is a haze of red, you want that to all stop movie star? I can make it all stop just like this," He snapped his fingers quickly, "But you gotta admit you need help, and you have to make a few phone calls, until then, you have to rough it out and participate with the others, if you admit you need help you could be excluded from our activities, tomorrow we're going hiking. Are you up for that? Admitting you need help is one step of getting you out of here—that is; if you want to get out."

I wanted him to shut the fuck up, I didn't need his help or anyone's, I was fine before they took me here.

I struggled to pull myself together and I quickly left the infirmary and walked towards my room. Once inside I collapsed on my 'bed'. I let out a strangled groan;

My head was pounding and all I wanted was Bella, fucking Bella. She knew how to make everything better.

_-*-  
__Edward- 17, Bella- 16_

"_Edward, honey? I'm going to run down to the supermarket to grab a few things for tonight's dinner, are you okay to be alone?" I heard my mom's voice call up the stairs. _

_I really wasn't okay, but I called out a strangled "Yeah, mom."_

_I was sweating, I was cold, my head was pounding, and my stomach was churning. Yeah I really wasn't okay._

_I must've dozed off in between my sporadic bouts of fighting with my blankets. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and I heard a timid knock on my door. I sighed, seriously couldn't my mom let me be sick in peace?_

"_Mom, I told you, I'd be fine." _

_The door opened and I groaned and rolled over in my bed, burrowing myself into my pillows. I felt the bed dip, "Mommmmm." I groaned out._

"_Oh, baby." I instantly turned over when I heard her angelic voice, she most definitely was not my mother, before I could call out to Bella, my stomach lurched and I dashed into the bathroom, thankfully I made it to the toilet in time before I puked my brains out._

_Once I rinsed out my mouth thoroughly I turned to head back into the bedroom when I saw Bella leaning against the doorjamb, "Bella, you should go home, I don't want you to see this."_

_Bella snorted, "Yeah, not fucking likely. I want to be here for you."_

_I pulled her into my bedroom and she pushed me back into my bed, I raised an eyebrow at her when I saw she had a duffel bag wrapped around her shoulder, "Plan on staying the night?" I asked, smirking._

_She blushed and set the bag down and pulled off her shoes, she crawled into the bed and wrapped her arms around me, "Mhm, Mom's is at the spa with her friends and dad is with Billy. So I figured why not come over here?" She shrugged her shoulders._

"_I'm sick B, I don't want you to catch something."_

"_I'll be fine Edward, relax. Let me take care of you for once," She shot out of bed quickly, "That reminds me! I made you some soup." She crawled and grabbed her duffel bag quickly producing a container of soup, some crackers and a spoon._

_She handed the items over to me silently and I devoured the soup, apparently throwing up makes me hungry. Once I finished I set the container on the bedside table and pulled Bella closer to me._

"_Thank you, baby."_

"_No problem, how are you feeling?" She ran her fingers through my hair; she began humming to me and almost instantly my body began to relax, my headache was evaporating and my stomach wasn't churning._

"_Better now that you're here." I lowered myself on the bed and snuggled into her chest as she continued her ministrations. _

_She let out a soft chuckle, "Even when you're sick, you're smooth as ever."_

_I snuggled into her chest further, gaining a soft chuckle from her and I inhaled her scent; she made everything better, the pain was all gone and just her presence healed me, she was magic. I glanced up at her and smiled, "What can I say baby? I love you."_

_She smiled and placed a kiss on my forehead, "Love you too, now sleep, I'll be here when you wake up." Before she could finish her sentence I was already dozing off, the last thing I heard was a whispered "I'll be here forever."_  
_-*-_

-*-  
The sunlight poured through the tiny window in the back of my room, it felt like I've been sleeping for days, but I was still exhausted. I rolled over quickly and sure enough the bile rose in my throat and I immediately lurched forward and emptied my stomach out into the trashcan.

The door was slammed open and before I could open my eyes, I knew who it was; I just fucking knew he would be back.

"What's the matter Cullen?"

The pain was radiating, I felt like I had a major work out session but only a thousand times worse, it felt like my brain was trying to dislodge itself through my eye sockets.

_I want it to stop._

I want out of this place, I want to go back to Los Angeles, I want to be able to wake up and have breakfast with Alice, I want to call Bella and fight with her because lord knows that's the only way she'll talk to me, I want to be able to see my fans, my face on a billboard.

And most importantly I want to take back each decision I made all those years ago that lead me here.

If asking for 'help' meant that I would be home soon, then hell I'll do it.

I looked up into the eyes of Big Man that were alight with pride and I let out a tiny huff.

"I need help."

-*-  
"No."

"Movie sta-"

"No."

A pen was thrown to the floor in anger, "Fucking shit L.A. you have to do this, its part of the getting help."

I rolled my eyes at Big Man, "Explain to me what I have to do again."

"Just call the girl." I raised my eyebrow at him, and he paused, "And don't give me that look you know exactly who I'm talking about, the girl that you tried to call countless times since you've been in here."

"What do I say to her?" I tried to come of as blasé, but lets be honest, I was shitting myself thinking I would get to talk to Bella.

Those phone calls, whether it be fighting or not, made my night. Hearing her voice, it just made everything better, she wasn't judging me like everyone else was, everyone else wanted something out of me, fame, money, cars. But she didn't; and that's what made those phone calls all the better.

_-*-  
(Carly is 1 years old.) _

_I was pacing around my bedroom, the music downstairs was blasting, apparently my manager wanted to throw a party for wrapping up my first movie. The phone rang three times before a beautiful voice answered, "Hello?"_

_She sounded so tired. "Bella."_

_I heard a door click close, "Edward." it was a statement, she was always so angry, all the time._

"_What are you up to beautiful?"_

"_Um, nothing, just at your mom's house." I found it nice that she still went there._

"_Well, what's going on?"_

"_I don't know Edward, you tell me." _

_It wasn't supposed to be like this; she wasn't supposed to be angry all the damn time._

"_Baby… what do you want me to do?" I left for us; I did this for us._

_She let out a sigh, "I don't know, I'm sorry, I'm just really tired."_

"_Go sleep baby."_

_I heard a door open and Bella's voice coo at someone, "Hey baby. . ."_

_Anger poured inside of me, I was here worrying about her and doing shit for us and she was calling other guys baby._

_Fuck that._

"_Hey Edward?"_

"_What?" I barked._

"_It's just. . . forget it."_

_Before I could respond to her there was a knock on my bedroom door, "Edward?" I sighed at walked towards the door, "Yeah Tanya?" I opened the door and saw her standing there, drink in hand, "Come out and play Eddie." Her smile was devious and I had to admit, I liked it. Growing up Bella and I watched the sitcoms Tanya was in, she was the child star everyone knew and adored. When I walked on set for the very first time and the director told me that her and I had a very intimate scene to say I wasn't nervous was a lie, she was beautiful. But I had my girl waiting at home for me, but now hearing Bella call someone else baby, and rethinking the time I saw her in Forks, I was over it. I was going to start to enjoy being famous._

"_Yeah, I'm coming T." She smirked at me and walked away, intentionally swaying her hips._

"_Edward. . .?"_

"_Look B, I gotta go."_

"_Yeah, I get it. Tanya Denali calls and you're all over her? Okay Edward." She sounded aggravated and hurt, but I was hurt._

"_Yeah, kind of like when I leave home you start calling other guys baby? Just like that."_

"_Edward I don-"_

_I cut her off before she could finish her sentence, she didn't need to lie to me, "Whatever Bella. Bye." I hung up and tossed the phone onto the bed. I walked over to the door and opened it and saw Tanya leaning against the stairs, "Ready to play stud?"_

_I looked back over to the phone, where I was connected to the love of my life, and I paused wondering if I was making the right decision, but then Bella's voice rang in my head, "Hey baby. . ." The way her voice cheered up when she called out to him, the way her face probably lit up. How she was probably sleeping with him right now._

_I shook my head to rid those thoughts and grabbed Tanya's hand and led her down the stairs._

"_Edward!" My name was called out by the hundreds of people surrounding me, I was given high fives and pats on the back, I was handed drinks and words of praise._

_I took a sip of my drink and then Tanya wrapped her arms around my shoulders and kissed my cheek as someone took a photograph. I took a step back and took in all the people that were here for me, that cared about me._

_And at the end of the night when Tanya led me to the bedroom I knew I belonged here._  
-*-

-*-  
"Cullen! Just tell her to stop looking for you."

He pushed the phone towards me, we were standing in the infirmary again, it was noon, everyone was out on the nature walk except me, I took a glance at the calendar; it read September 14th.

My blood ran cold.  
Oh no.  
I can't do this.

I pushed the phone out of my hands, "I can't man, not today, _please not today_."

I begged, I fucking begged for him to not make me call her. But he pushed and my head hurt so badly and I wanted it to stop and he promised me that after I called her, he'd give me some medicine.

The phone rang.

Once.  
Twice.  
Thrice.

"What?"

Her voice, her soft voice. The voice that could calm me down, excite me and arouse me. The same voice that made my heart skip a beat each time I heard it, the voice that could break me. The only voice that could make me bend over backwards.

I couldn't do this, not today.

Not the day after her birthday.

"Bella?"

There was silence, BM shot me a look and I shrugged, "Bella?"

"Edward?"

Fuck me, if she didn't sound all hopeful and excited.  
I hated having to do this.  
I had to break her heart the day after her birthday.

It wouldn't be the first time.

* * *

**Q/A: What's one phonecall you never wanted to make?**

* * *

**AN: Sorry for the hella long wait guys, I lost the chapter, then found it, and then Edward wouldn't shut the hell up.**

**Good news is I'm back and gearing up for this, we're getting to the point where we're going to get some answers.**

**News: I'm on twitter now, I have like two followers. . . lame I know. Come play over there, teasers will be given and we can discuss where E is maybe?**

**twitter(.)com/staybeautifulxf**

**Also, I'm still looking for a beta, someone hook me up please.**

**Reviews are way better than getting your heartbroken the day after your birthday. JS**


	12. Chapter 11: She's done and He's sorry

**Disclaimer- SM owns all things Twilight, lucky bitch.  
**

But when it comes to love you're just as blinded.  
Baby, please come back;  
It wasn't you, baby it was me.  
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems.  
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano;  
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though.  
-Eminem.  
*

**Chapter 11: ****She's done and he's sorry.  
****Bella Swan:**

-*-  
_"Rose its Edward."_

The second the words left my mouth everyone in the room stopped what they were doing, I'm sure my face was pretty comical, my eyes were wide, and I was slack jawed.

I starred down at the phone in my hands, "Edward?" I asked, hesitantly.

"Bella?"

I shot Rose a panicked look and she ushered me into her bedroom, closing the door behind her as she left.

"Um, hey?" I had no clue what to say, his phone call was so unexpected.

I heard a throat clear on the other line and then I heard a sigh, "Look Bella, I got to make this fast, things to do, people to see; ya know? Anyways, it'll probably be best if we didn't talk to each other."

I starred back down in the phone; surely he wasn't calling me to breakup with me?

"What are you talking about Edward?" Fuck, I was so confused and my head was throbbing.

"I mean, we have different priorities now, I'm doing me, and you're doing. . . whatever. I feel like we've dragged this along for too long, don't you think?"

His voice was cold, angry, determined. I didn't know what was going on, but I knew this wasn't my Edward. "Edward, where are you?"

"Where am I?" He paused, "I'm with Tanya."

Oh.  
Okay.  
Well then. . .

The way he said it, like it should've been obvious is what got to me, "I thought you were somewhere else?" I whispered.

He let out a short laugh, "No, what made you think that? I'm with T."

"Oh."

My heart was screaming at me to yell at him, but I just couldn't.

"Yeah, so I'd really love to keep talking, but I have to go do something, so yeah. ." He let out a cough.

"I'll let you go, don't want to waste your time."

"Bella." His voice sounded desperate.

"Yeah?"

"I. . . Lo-, I got to go." I stayed on the line until I heard the dial tone signaling he hung up, closed the connection between us, it sounded like he was going to tell me he loved me, thank the stars above he didn't, he didn't have to lie anymore.

I tossed the phone onto the other side of the bed and rested my head in my hands, the only thought that was running through my head was, "What the hell just happened?"

He broke up with me.  
He wasn't in trouble.  
He was with Tanya.

I sighed as I felt a tear slip out of my eye, how many times could this man bend me and break me?

As another tear fell, I wiped it away quickly with determination. I wouldn't cry over him anymore, I was done. Edward Cullen was no longer part of my life.

He only proved to me that people always leave.  
And break promises.

I would start doing what was best for my daughter and I.

I was so focused on his bullshit, and friends that I never spent time with her.

That would all stop now.

Because the second I set foot in Forks;  
My only priority would be that little girl waiting for me.  
Carly Rose Swan.  
My life.

Everything else, everyone else, didn't matter.

I had to do something for myself now,  
I was always listening to everyone else;  
Taking their advice.  
Doing what they thought was best for me.

I was done.

-*-  
I was numb.  
I needed to get out of here.  
I needed my Carly Rose.  
My sunshine.  
I didn't need anything else.  
I didn't need love.  
Friends.  
Money.

Her;  
That's all I needed.

I knew the aching in my chest, the sensation of being ripped apart in two would stop the second I saw my smiling angel.

I just needed to get to Forks.

I'd be fine when I got there.

I opened the door to Rose's bedroom and I saw her peer around the corner; I offered a weak smile. "Bella, you okay?"

I starred at her blankly.

Was I okay?

Was it normal to feel torn?  
Was it normal to ache when I took a breath?  
Was it normal to feel my heart actually break?  
Was it normal to close my eyes and see him?  
Was it normal to hear him?  
Was it normal to want to curl into a ball and die?

I don't think I'm okay.

But I know with time,  
and Carly;  
I would be.

The thought of Carly, my sunshine, my life made me smile. My bright, intelligent, beautiful girl. Yeah, my heart was just torn in two, but that didn't matter, what mattered was that I had a little girl at home, anxiously waiting my arrival, a little girl who thought the sun shined out of my ass, who loved me entirely.

My baby.

I smiled, a real, flashy big smile at Rose and blinked quickly, "Yeah, Rose. I'm perfect."

Her eyes narrowed slightly, "Okay, yeah. We're leaving to the airport soon, so pack your stuff."

I nodded and quickly scrambled to the door while avoiding Rosalie's inquisitive eyes.

-*-  
"Bella. . . Bella?" My headphones were pulled out of my ears and I whirled my head around and glared at Emmett, I grabbed my headphones quickly and sneered slightly, "What?"

"Your dazing off. . . again.'

"And?"

He stood up from his spot across from me and sat in the empty chair next to me, Rose went to buy M&M's from a concession stand in the airport and Jake was using the restroom. "B? What did Edward say to you? You've been acting kind of off."

I snorted slightly and waved him off, "He didn't say anything I didn't know already; I'm fine Em." I patted his bicep slightly and went back to listening to my ipod.

"You'd tell me if something was wrong right?"

I smiled reassuringly, "Yeah Em, I would."

Boarding the plane was easy, the plane was relatively empty and I scored myself an empty row.

When the plane began to take off I closed my eyes and was hit with thousands of memories.

Edward.  
His smile.  
His hair.  
His eyes.  
His hands.  
His chest.  
His face.

Everything.  
He was everything.

Gone.

It was all gone so fast; it slipped out of my hands before I could keep it. He was gone, with Tanya. I knew I wasn't enough, but to basically be told that I wasn't worthy of his time, stung.

Lies.

He told me he loved me.  
He told me I was beautiful.  
He told me he'd never leave.  
He told me I was enough.

Everything that came out of his mouth was a lie.  
And I believed him.

Stupid;  
I was so stupid.

What was I thinking? That he'd actually come back to me? Why would he? He had girls throwing themselves at him, models, actresses, and singers.

What could I, measly Bella Swan do?

I was clumsy.  
Stupid.  
Naïve.

I wasn't enough.

I was strong though.  
I knew I could get past this.

It never would stop hurting.

But maybe as the days pass the pain would subside slightly. I wasn't kidding myself, I knew I would always hurt, but maybe one day I could look past it.

I looked out the window, all I could see was clouds and that calmed me slightly. I glanced at the seat in front of me and saw Em and Rose huddled together, whispering to each other, giving the other gentle caresses, gentle kisses. The love radiating off of them was staggering.

I couldn't be around that.

I loved my friends dearly, but the pain that shot throughout my heart when I saw them together killed me, whenever I saw them I saw what Edward and I could've had, what we should've had. And I wanted it, so badly.

I didn't want to be the 'single friend'; the friend that clung to them for love and affection. I made enough of a fool of myself last night. I didn't need to relive that. What I needed was to take a couple of steps back and rethink things.

I needed my own space, to make my own decisions. I needed to be able to do something right for once. I wasted too much time waiting for Edward to come back, waiting for the phone call that told me that he wanted me.

I watched as Em gently brushed a stray hair off of Rosalie's forehead, the adoration in his eyes was beautiful. He starred at his new wife with such love.

I wanted that.

I knew that separating myself from Em and Rose would be one of the hardest things I would ever had to do.

But I needed to do this for me,  
For Carly;  
And for them.

I refused to hold them back; I refused to make them act differently towards me. They were married now, they would want a family, they would want to kiss without abandon in front of me. But they wouldn't because they thought it would hurt me.

We all needed to be alone, to think about things and make stuff right. I needed them to do what they wanted for once, they paused too much of their life for me.

I needed them to live.

-*-  
**Rosalie McCarty:**

"What's going on with Bella?"

I peered into the row behind us and glanced at Bella and my heart clenched when I saw her face distorted in pain as she slept. She was speaking quietly, her hands desperately grasping at her chest. I glanced back at Emmett and saw his face twisted into a look of concern, "I have no clue babe."

"You think Edward did something?"

I hoped he didn't, I needed her to enjoy her mini vacation, she didn't need to be reminded of him, or the things he's done. "I hope not, I really do."

Em grabbed my hand and kissed my ring finger softly, "We'll fix this baby; we always do."

I glanced at him, then back at Bella; I felt like I was losing her already, I've never seen her like this and to be honest I was scared.

I felt change coming.  
And I didn't like it.

-*-  
The suitcases were loaded into Em's hummer and Bella wordlessly glanced out the window. "Bells, what's up with you?" Jake looked at Bella curiously, like he was seeing a different person.

"Nothing, I just want to see my Carly." She smiled and then turned back to stare at the passing cars.

I turned around and patted her knee, "She's probably really excited to see you honey, we'll be there soon."

Em glanced at her through the mirror and sped up slightly. As we drove home Em placed my hand on his thigh and began fingering the rings that lay on my finger, I felt a stare and I glanced up into the rearview mirror and saw Bella's eyes trained onto mine and Em's interlocked hands. Her face held such longing and I instantly pushed away. Her eyes met mine and she smiled sadly and shook her head and starred back out the window, onto the passing road.

-*-  
We pulled up into Esme's driveway and I glanced back at Bella and saw her eyes light up when she realized we were home.

Em parked in the driveway and Bella dashed to the front of the Cullen's door and began pacing in front of the door.

I haven't seen her this anxious in a while, the last time I saw her like this was the day Edward announced when he was leaving. .

_-*-_  
_Edward's Senior year._

_Emmett slammed open the front door of Edward's house and began screaming, "I'm here bitches!"_

_I heard a yell of "Emmett McCarty, no foul language!" and I held back a snicker, Emmett was actually terrified of Esme._

_I pulled Emmett to the backyard where we saw Bella lying on the hammock and Edward sitting in front of her, this was our 'conference' area, which proved that we were about to have a very serious conversation._

_Em sat down on the grass and pulled me to sit on his lap, "What's going on guys?"_

_Bella closed her eyes and shook her head and Edward gazed at her with a mixture of pain and remorse. "What the fuck did you do this time Cullen?" I spat._

"_Why do you assume I did something?" He screeched back._

_I glanced back at Bella, "She's upset, meaning you did something. What. Did. You. Do?" Yeah; I was slightly protective of Bella, but whatever._

"_I'm leaving." _

_Emmett sat up slightly, "What?" _

"_He's going to California." Bella murmured and stood up and walked towards the house._

"_Bella." Edward called out and made a move to stand up._

"_Don't. I'll go to her."_

_I walked back into the house and found Bella sitting on one of the couches in the living room, "What's up Bell?"_

_I sat down and she placed her head in my lap and I began to braid her hair, "He's going to California, at first I thought it was a joke you know? But he's serious, he got permission from the school to graduate early and everything."_

"_Isn't that good? Isn't this his dream?"_

_She sighed, "Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of him—I really am. But he's leaving me here and then he'll be with all these actresses."_

"_You think he'll cheat on you?"_

"_He wouldn't want to, but stuff happens. He thinks he wont get a job down there, but fuck Rose, I know he's going to get one, he's so smart and determined." _

_I could tell her mind was running a mile a second and I knew she'd have an anxiety attack if she didn't calm down, "Bella, Edward loves you, he has since we were kids, you'll only be apart for a year, you guys can make it. I honestly don't think you have anything to worry about."_

_Bella glanced up at me, tears in her eyes, "Rose, he's always with me, every memory I have he's in it. . . How can I survive without him here?"_

_So we found the heart of the problem._

"_B, is that what you're scared of? Being alone? Sweetie we're all scared of that, at any minute Em can get up and leave but I don't think about that, I focus on how much I love him and yes he has the ability to up and leave but I know he won't because I trust him. You have to trust Edward. You'll be fine without him here, you have me, Em, and Jake."_

_She sat up quickly and pulled me into a hug, "I really don't want to be left behind Rose."_

"_You won't." I glanced up at his voice and I smiled slightly as I saw Edward make his way towards Bella._

"_Baby, if you thought I would leave you, you're sorely mistaken, I'm afraid you're in this for life." _

_Bella's face lit up and I gestured to Em to walk into the kitchen, wanting to give Bella and Edward some alone time._

_Esme was in the kitchen cooking, "Hey Ms. Cullen, what are you cooking?" I asked as I sat on a counter._

"_Rosalie, I've told you a million times to call me Esme." She shook her head, "I'm making cookies for desert, you kids staying for dinner?" _

_Em grinned widely and nodded his head, "Yes thank you, So Esme, Edward's leaving?" _

_I watched as she placed the cookies in the oven and patted her hands on the apron she was wearing, "Yes, I'm not really comfortable with it, but it's his dream."_

_I nodded my head, "Bella's terrified."_

"_I know, the poor thing was a crying mess when Edward first told her, she began pacing and I swear she almost had a panic attack, I had to separate them to get her to calm down."_

_My heart clenched when I thought of Bella, she was always afraid that one of us would leave her; her greatest fear was of Edward leaving her._

"_I think there fine now." I murmured as I leaned back and peered into the living room, spotting Edward and Bella making out on the couch. I rolled my eyes, "Come on Em."_

_Deciding they had enough alone time we walked back in to the living room, "Alright love birds, we have shit to discuss." Emmett said as he pushed Bella and Edward apart._

_Edward shot Em a dirty look and ran a hand through his hair, "Like what Em?" he growled. _

_Em raised his hands up in surrender, "Woah, calm down there. Bella looks like our boy here is a little frustrated, you should give him a hand later." He paused and smirked as Bella blushed, "Anyways, we need to make a plan, when you're leaving and what's going on."_

"_I'm leaving May 10__th__, my dad is looking into apartments in L.A." _

_I instantly shot up, "So you'll be here for prom?"_

"_Um, yeah, it's the first right?"_

_I nodded and began planning a way to make Edward and Bella remember there last dance together. _

"_Rose," I was startled out of my thoughts by Edward waving a hand in front of my face, "Rose, I need you and Em to look after Bella while I'm gone, we all know she's a bit accident prone, just try to keep her out of hospitals until I come home."_

_Bella punched him lightly in the arm and rolled her eyes, "Shut up. Maybe you should leave now. . ." She trailed off._

_Edward pulled Bella into a hug and kissed her lightly, "You see Bells, we'll be fine."_

_Bella looked back at me and I nodded my head in reassurance, she smiled; "Yeah Edward, we'll be just fine baby."  
*_

We met up with Bella just as Esme opened the door; we made it inside when we heard the sound of the television playing in the living room, "Carly Rose!" Esme called out. The television turned off and we heard a shout of "Coming Grandma!"

I watched Bella as we heard the tiny patter of footsteps, "Mommy!" Carly came bouncing into the room and ran straight into the arms of her waiting mother. They had that move perfected, Bella would open her arms and Carly would jump into them.

Emmett slung his arm around my shoulder and kissed my temple, "Is it me or do I feel like Bella's pulling away from us?" He murmured.

I turned around to face him, "You feel that to?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's kind of obvious."

"I don't know what she's trying to accomplish pulling away from us Em, but I'm scared."

He hugged me to him tighter, "Me too, baby. But we'll figure this out. She can't run that fast."

-*-**  
Bella Swan:**

The second I had Carly back in my arms it was like everything fell into place, I grabbed her into a hug and buried my face into her hair, just breathing her in. "Mommy missed you so much baby girl."

She pulled away and smiled at me, her bronze ringlets in pigtails today, "Mama! I miss you, no more outies with Uncle Em and Auntie Rose, kay?"

I felt tears pool into my eyes, "I promise baby, no more." She smiled at me and wiggled in my arms, a sign that she wanted to be put down, the second her feet touched the ground she dashed into the arms on Emmett.

"Uncle Em!" She cried and peppered him with kisses. Em picked her up and began throwing her into the air and catching her.

"How's my little princess?"

"Uncle Em, I miss mommy lots, no take her out no more." She told him with a serious look on her face. My heart clenched and I walked into the living room and began placing her things into her sleep away bag.

"Leaving so soon Bella?" I looked up at Carlisle and nodded slightly.

"Yeah, I just want to get Carly home."

He nodded his head, "Are you okay Bella?"

I let out a laugh, "Is that your subtle way of telling me I look a fucking mess?" I bit out.

"No, Bella. You just don't look fine."

I bit my lip, "Sorry Carlisle, I'm just tired."

"It's fine Bella." I walked back into the hallway and saw Carly starring up at Emmett, her hands on her hips, "Mama!" She called out and ran towards me.

"Uncle Em said no-no word." I laughed.

"Em, you know the rules." I gestured for him and he whined and fished out his wallet.

"Come here Carly." He muttered. He took out a single dollar bill and gave it to her.

"YES!" She cried and put the dollar in her pocket.

"Bella, you suck." I shrugged my shoulders, having to pay Carly a dollar each time one of us said a curse in front of her was necessary, before having her we all had mouth's that could scare a sailor.

I did not need her first word to be 'fuck'.

After catching up with the grandparents for a bit, I grabbed Carly's things and started inching towards the door.

"Bella! What are you doing tomorrow?" Rosalie called as I had my hand on the doorknob.

"I'm actually really busy tomorrow, sorry Rose." I had to begin separating myself from them, as much as it hurt.

"Oh. . ." She paused, "How about shopping, Friday?"

I shook my head, "I'm pretty busy all week, you know, we're close to the Hideout's first year anniversary, I'm busy preparing stuff, I'll give you a call alright?"

Rose frowned slightly, "Yeah, alright. Call me, maybe Em and I can host a dinner or something, you know as husband and wife?"

I shut my eyes slightly; waiting for the pain to hit me, I wanted that. When I was 16 I could've sworn I'd be where Rose and Em are now, married and happy. "Yeah Rose."

"We love you Bella."

"I love you guys too."

That's why I had to do this;  
Because I loved them.

I kissed Esme on the cheek, patted Carlisle's back and grabbed Carly and left the house quickly.

As we drove away I felt a slight pain in my chest knowing that I would miss Em and Rose.

"Mama?" I glanced at Carly through the rearview mirror, "Yeah, baby?"

"I'm happy your back mommy."

I glanced back at her and saw her bright smile, my heart instantly filled with warmth.

"I'm happy I'm back too honey."

-*-  
"Alright bud, let's get your stuff in and get us home." I grabbed Carly and her things and locked the door and walked towards the house.

When I opened the door I placed Carly's bags on the floor and looked around the house. It was too big for the both of us, but it was home, Carly's things were thrown everywhere, her Dora doll on the couch, and her drawings on the fridge.

Walking into the house alone didn't scare me as much as it used too.

_-*-_  
_Carly's first day home._

_"Alright Bells, time to get the little one home." I glanced up at Charlie and my eyes scanned the room; making sure I had everything we needed._

_I stood up with Carly fast asleep in my arms and I grabbed the car seat and began to place my baby inside, the moment she left my arms she began fussing and I cooed to her and she settled back to sleep._

_I surveyed the room once more, "Alright; let's go Dad." Grabbing the car seat I sat in the wheelchair the hospital ordered me to sit in. Apparently I had to be taken out in one._

_The male nurse pushed the wheelchair and once we were at the front entrance where Charlie's cruiser was I got off, "Good luck." The nurse called out as I strapped Carly's car seat in._

_"Thanks."_

_Once I triple-checked that Carly would be fine I settled in next to her, Charlie drove silently, leaving me to my own thoughts until he pulled into the driveway of my new house._

_I began unbuckling Carly and I noticed Charlie didn't unbuckle his seatbelt, "Dad? You're coming with us right?"_

_I began to panic; I could feel my anxiety escalating._

_I couldn't do this alone._  
_I wouldn't survive._

_"Sweetie, I'm going home."_

_"No dad! You can't leave me alone, I don't know what I'm doing." I whispered._

_"Bella, you made the choice to be with someone, its time to own up to your decisions."_

_I was on the verge of crying, "Are you trying to teach me a lesson? I'm sorry Dad, I really am, but please help me."_

_"I can't Bella. You have to do this on your own."_

_"Daddy. . ." I whispered, "I don't know what I'm doing."_

_I couldn't stand the thought of being alone; I needed someone with me._

_"You'll figure it out Bells."_

_I wiped away the tears that were threatening to fall and grabbed my stuff and Carly's car seat. "Okay Dad." I opened the door and stepped out._

_"Bella!" His voice called back and I turned around, "I'm doing this for you kid."_

_Deep down I knew he really was doing what was best for me, but I really didn't want to acknowledge it._

_I opened my door and locked it behind me; I walked into the living room, completely terrified of being alone in this house._

_I sat down on the couch and gently took Carly out of her car seat, I held her in my arms, just starring at her, knowing that I created this little person made me swell with pride, Edward and I created something so beautiful._

_"Looks like its just me and you kid." I murmured and placed a kiss onto her forehead._

_-*-_  
_I shot out of bed when I heard wailing coming from the crib that was settled in my room. My eyes shot to the clock 1:00 AM, I yawned and made my way to the crib. "What's the matter Carly love?"_

_Her cries only increased and I picked her up and settled back into my bed, "You hungry baby?" I pushed my shirt up and attempted to feed her but she wasn't having it._

_"What do you want baby? Mommy doesn't know." I walked towards the nursery that Rosalie decorated with soft pinks, it was a princess theme; I could already tell that Carly would be spoiled._

_"Is your diaper dirty?" I set her on the changing table and her diaper was dry, but she was still crying._

_"Carly I don't know what you want. . ." My panic was only increasing and the tears began to fall._

_I couldn't do this._  
_I was too young._

_"I'm sorry Carly, mommy doesn't know what you want." I began to sway with her in my arms and her cries only continued, only this time my sobs joined hers._

_I walked us to my bedroom, both of us still crying, "I'm sorry Carly. . . so sorry."_

_I knew I would be a shit mother._  
_Just like mine._

_I laid back down on the bed and Carly's hand began fussing until she grabbed my shirt. Her cries increased and I tried rubbing her back to sooth her._

_I didn't know what I was doing._  
_I couldn't handle this._

_I couldn't stand the thought of having this tiny person depend on me, each decision I made effected her life._

_I was scared I would ruin her._

_Eventually I placed her on my chest and almost instantly her cries ceased. She snuggled into me and grasped my shirt tightly in her hands. I continued rubbing her back until she was in a deep sleep._

_I glanced down at her once she was asleep and I wiped my tears away and smiled._

_We survived our first night together._

_I was still scared shitless to be alone, but we could do this. . ._

_Maybe.  
__-*-_

Carly dashed off into her room and began playing with her toys I joined her and sat down on her bed. Instantly she ran over and lied down on my chest, I began stroking her hair and she grasped my shirt in her hands and sucked her thumb.

I watched her eyes close as she fell asleep.

I surveyed the room and finally came to a conclusion:  
We were finally alone.  
And we'd be okay.  
-*-

-*-**  
****Edward Cullen****:**

I lurched over the toilet and emptied my breakfast out into it. The cool porcelain felt nice on my over heated skin. BM was behind me, watching, I ignored him and continued to lay my head on the toilet lid.

If I closed my eyes enough I wasn't here, I was at home.

Home was Bella.

If I tried hard enough I could imagine what my homecoming should've been.  
The way her smile would've lit up.  
The way she would've attacked me with kisses.  
How I wouldn't have been able to let her go.

But that didn't happen.  
I was here.  
She was there.

And now, she probably didn't want anything to do with me.

I could still see her.  
Smell her.  
Feel her.

The way her eyes crinkled when she laughed without abandon.  
The way her eyes would fill with relief when I caught her when she fell.

The way her eyes held adoration for me.

The way her eyes would scan the parking lot at school, searching for me.  
The way she would leap in my arms once I was found.  
The way she cuddled on me when she was sick.  
The way she would get all dressed up for date night.  
The way it felt when we were joined together.  
The way she told me she loved me.

The way her hand fit perfectly in mine.

She was perfect.  
We were perfect.

And now it was ruined.  
I didn't know if I could fix it.

I dry heaved one more time and felt Big Man pick me up, I wouldn't even fight him off, I was too tired. He set me on the bed and left the room.

All I wanted to do was get up and run to Bella. But I couldn't.

I would get out of here.

The throbbing in my head was leading me into a restless sleep.

I lurched forward towards the garbage can again and emptied my stomach's contents into it.

Bella,  
Please don't give up on me.  
I'm sorry.  
-*-

**

* * *

**

**Q/A: What's one thing you've given up on?**

* * *

**AN: Told you guy's I'd post soon, I don't break my promises! Anyways, thank you for those who did review, ABP has 187 story alerts, that makes me really happy so thank you!**

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***


	13. Chapter 12: Time flies and memories fade

**Disclaimer: As always, Twilight's not mine, though I wish it was. . .**

**AN: Some people have been answering the Q&A's so I'll answer last chapters:**

**Q/A: What's one thing you've given up on: My friendship with my best friend. We both want different things out of life. Yes, I'll miss her, but sometimes you have to let go.**

**Important AN at the bottom, please read.**

*  
You puzzle, like a jigsaw.  
You love me, now we don't fit together.  
I used up my last straw;  
I thought I would drink you forever.  
But now you're my last call.  
-A Rocket to the Moon.  
*

**Chapter 12:**** Time flies and memories begin to fade.**

**Edward Cullen:**

I still didn't want to be here.  
I didn't belong.

I was forced to interact with the other people staying here, I heard all their stories, some were criminals, some had eating disorders, and some were abused.

I didn't fit into any of these categories.

As the days progressed I was getting sicker, almost each morning I woke up I had to empty my stomach into the toilet.

I didn't know what was wrong with me.

The medicine given to me didn't really work;  
I still felt the pain.

The pain was everywhere:  
My stomach.  
My muscles.  
My head.

My body was fighting for something;  
I just couldn't recognize what.

I was forced into therapy sessions, forced to talk about my feelings and bullshit like that.

I was forced to talk about Bella.

Who was she?  
Why was she so important?  
Why was I so desperate to talk to her?

She was the only person I didn't want to talk about.

I didn't know what we were, how our relationship was defined.

I knew that I wanted her.

It was frustrating to talk to her, but I didn't want to give that up.

She was beginning to move on.

And I knew after our phone call I pretty much sealed the deal between us.  
She was done with me.

No more phone calls to her between scenes.  
No more staying up late just to hear her giggle.  
No more lying in bed picturing she was beside me.  
No more singing her to sleep.  
No more hearing her lash out at me.  
No more hearing her whispered I love you's.

No more hearing her tell me she missed me.  
No more hearing her cry.  
No more seeing her through video chats.  
No more seeing her beautiful face.

Gone.  
It was all gone.

Carefully chosen words, words that I picked with a purpose,  
Finally broke her down.

She needed to hear those words; I didn't know when I'd be out of this place. Big Man threw a shit load of flashcards at me and he told me to read off of them.

He said it was just like acting.

I could almost hear her heartbreak over the phone;  
The way she sucked in her breath;  
Her abrupt end to the conversation.

I broke her:  
I broke us.

And I didn't know if I could fix it.

-*-  
_November._

Big Man leaned back on his leather chair and smirked up at me from behind a folder, "Still dreaming about Bella I see."

"Yup."

He sat up slightly gripping his pen in his hand, "Mind telling me what your dreams are about?"

I glanced around his office and I suddenly felt claustrophobic and angry.

He took me from my home, my life, and my friends and then he questioned me?

"I don't want to."

"Tough." He wrote something down in his notebook, I hated when he did that. "Let's talk about California then."

I let out an audible sigh, "Okay."

"Must be hard to be expected to attend all these parties and to show up on set early. Do you ever need a energy boost?"

I stood up abruptly, "Times up."

Big Man glanced down at his watch, "Nope, we still got another half hour, now answer the question."

"I want to get out of here."

He scribbled something down again and I felt the anger boil in my body, it was rising and I knew I'd snap soon.

Big Man sighed again, "We've been over this movie star, when you get the appropriate hel-"

I snapped.

"I don't _need_ your fucking help, or anyone else's for that matter. Let me get out of here; let me live my fucking life. Who are you to take me from my home and my friends and tell me that I need help? Fuck you."

"Admitting you need help is the first step."

"First step for what? I'm _fine_, I was fucking happy before I came here. You kidnapped me for your sick twisted pleasure and force medicine on me, let me fucking go home."

Big Man stood up and threw his notebook onto the floor, "You want to leave? Fine, I'll have Martha call you a car."

I was finally going to go home.  
I was going to call Bella and tell her I was sorry.  
I was going to try and fix our broken relationship.

I stood up to shake Big Man's hand, "Thanks man."

I walked towards the door and just as I turned the doorknob but Big Man's throat clearing made me turn back to look at him, "I tried to help you man."

"I never needed your help."

He let out a small laugh and shook his head, "Bella isn't going to love a cokehead."

-*-  
**Big Man:**

"First step for what? I'm _fine,_ I was fucking happy before I came here. You kidnapped me for your sick twisted pleasure and force medicine on me, let me fucking go home."

I was tired of this, it was always the same:  
"You fucking kidnapped me."  
"I don't want your fucking medicine."  
"I feel sick."

He wasn't going to understand, he was far too gone. And to be honest I was tired of helping someone who didn't appreciate it.

There were a lot of people who needed more help than him, but his friends tracked me down. They said I was his last hope.

But he wasn't accepting my help.  
They knew this.

And now, it was time to let him go.

If he were serious about getting help in the future I would welcome him back to the clinic with open arms.

I threw my notebook that consisted of notes and observations about Edward's therapy sessions to the ground. "You want to leave? Fine, I'll have Martha call you a car."

The second he left I would have to call his family and friends and tell him it was useless.

I was known to help people within two weeks.  
It's been three months and it was always the same run around.

He was too tired for therapy.  
He didn't feel like interacting with the other patients.

For the first time in his entire stay here I witnessed him smile, he was probably thinking about what he would do when he got home.

I knew what he'd do.

He was like the others who refused help.  
And he'd end up just like them:  
Dead.

He thrust his hand at me and I shook it quickly while remembering the faces of the patients who have left in the same fashion as him.

I wanted to help everyone that walked through my doors.  
But you could only help someone that recognizes they need help.

I was fighting a hopeless battle from the beginning.

The day he walked, well was dragged in here I instantly recognized all the signs; I knew he was stubborn, and I knew he would insist nothing was wrong with him. I knew he'd fight me tooth and nail throughout this. But I never guessed it'd be this difficult.

His family and friends cared about him, they knew he needed help, that's why they called me. I had a 95% success rate; if one person could help him it'd be me.

But he had nothing to fight for.  
He had no one encouraging him.  
He had nothing to prove.

So he pushed aside all my help.  
He was like all the others.

I sincerely wished the best for him, but I knew the in's and out's of people like him.

He eagerly ran towards the door and grasped the doorknob, I knew I couldn't let him leave without a fight, just as the door was turned I cleared my throat willing him to look back at me, he turned back around with inquisitive eyes and I sighed, "I tried to help you man."

Boy did I try.  
Usually I would've kicked his sorry ass out of here after one month of refusing help.

But his parents begged me, and his mother was crying speaking about her baby boy and the infamous Bella.

I knew if one person could help him it'd be her.

I asked if I could speak to her but the others told me she knew nothing about his problem and it was best if she stayed out of it.

Edward smirked with pride and shook his head, "I never needed your help."

I let out a bitter laugh because if anyone needed help it was him, it was my last chance to try and help him; "Bella isn't going to love a cokehead."

His entire body froze, hand still grasping the doorknob, "What did you say?"

"I said that Bella isn't going to love a cokehead."

His fists clenched and I knew what was going to happen next, he punched a hole in the door. "I'm not a fucking cokehead."

I smirked and grabbed my notebook and wrote down that he did not like to be referred to as a cokehead; denial was one of his major problems. "Edward the signs are all there."

He let out a growl and turned to me, "What fucking signs?"

I mentally listed them off in my mind as I spoke, "You get agitated easily, your fatigue, your anger outbursts, kinda like the one you just had now, lack of motivation, vomiting, your muscle pain and your disturbed sleep. Need I go on?" I smirked.

"I'm not addicted to coke." He whispered.

I shook my head and stood up and went to my desk that held all confiscated material, I searched for the 'C' section and I scanned through it and found Edward's file. I grabbed the bag of coke that we took off of him when he was first admitted and I turned it around and held it up to him. "I'm pretty sure that the morning we took you, you were supposed to have breakfast with Alice, why was this in your back pocket then?"

He stammered and eyed the bag in my hand, "It's purely a social thing. . ." He trailed off and I shook my head, it was never a social thing, you would always crave it.

"Edward, it's okay to need help. We'll help you get past this, you don't need coke in your life man."

"You're not listening to me! I'm _not_ addicted to coke and I _don't_ need your help."

I sighed in frustration and threw the bag at his feet, "Here, take it. Snort it, do what you please with it." I watched as he grabbed the bag and opened it, his eyes were darting around the room, "I know what your thinking, you want it, your body is craving for it, I bet your stomach is churning right now. I see the way your hands are shaking, you need that drug, you depend on it."

"There's nothing wrong with me."

I nodded my head in agreement, "Nothing is wrong with you Edward, you just have an addiction and now that you've recognized it I can help you get through it, get past it."

His grabbed the bag and bawled it into two fists, to keep me from taking it. "I'm not addicted to it."

"Yes Edward, yes you are."

He lashed out again, "No! Leave me the fuck alone!"

I took note of his reaction and nodded to myself, "You'll also need to take anger management, you seem to throw a fit when things don't fall your way. Kind of immature actually. . ."

I smirked knowing what was going to come; his fists hit the door again, making another hole. It was okay, the price of a new door was coming out of his bank account. "I'm not fucking angry."

I snorted, "Could've fooled me."

"Just, just let me go. I want to go home, I don't need help, I'm not an addict and I'm not angry."

"Repeating it isn't going to make it true."

I watched as his fists clenched and I could see the anger overtaking him, I recognized all the signs.

I used to be like him.

"You said I could go, just let me go."

But unlike him I accepted help.

Without his approval or recognition I couldn't help him. It'd be impossible. I nodded my head, "One day you're going to lose everyone around you because of your problem. The drug will take over your life, and you'll regret it. I promise you that."

I went to the desk and phoned Martha alerting her that Cullen was going to be released. I walked towards the door and swung my arm around Edward's shoulder, "I'll walk you out." He nodded his head, never taking his eyes off of the bag.

I led him down the halls and towards the infirmary, "What are we doing here?" Edward asked as I pushed him into the room.

I gestured to one of the nurses to attend to him, "We're wrapping up your hands Rocky."

"Oh."

All his focus was now turned to the drug, the tiny, worthless drug in his hands.

Yes, it can bring you up and you'll feel amazing and loved and like your unstoppable.

But it wasn't worth it.

It tore your life apart.  
It tore my life apart.

I didn't want Edward to make the same mistakes I did;  
I lost my family.  
My friends.  
My wife.  
My kids.

Edward was a smart, young guy living the life some people would kill to have. The second he snorted the coke it all began to unravel.

He already lost Bella.

Once his hands were all taped up he told me he needed to use the restroom and we stopped there and once he was out Martha appeared to take him to the car. I wasn't going to walk him out; I only walked the patients who made it past their hardships out.

"Martha will take you where you need to go, I really hope it's worth it Edward." I patted his back one more time and turned to leave.

They began to walk away and just as they were going to turn to the exit I called out behind him, "She's not going to want an angry addict boyfriend, if you're not willing to help yourself do it for her." He shook his head once more and I slumped in defeat.

I walked back into my office and pulled out Edward's folder and searched for the contact information listed. I grabbed the phone and punched in the numbers, this was always the hard part.

"Hello?" Someone answered breathlessly and I heard small giggles in the background.

"Hello is this Mrs. Cullen?" I asked as I glanced back at Edward's folder.

"Yes it is! How can I help you?" His mother was so kind, it would be a shame for him to lose his parents over cocaine.

"Mrs. Cullen, I believe we've spoken before, it's Sam." I clarified.

"Sam! How is he?" She lowered her voice.

"Mrs. Cullen, I'm sorry but I tried. . ." I trailed off; I never knew what to say in this situation.

I heard a small sniffle; "He left?"

"He refused help Mrs. Cullen, you know its my policy to kick resistant people out within one month, I've kept him for three, he won't accept it."

"Where do we go from here?" Her voice was meek, not like the exuberance I heard moments before. This was the worst part, parents, friends, husbands, wives, always expected me to fix the patient. But it's a two way street, I could only help so much.

"You cannot do anything for him at this moment, he'll need to recognize his problem and seek out help himself. If he fails to recognize his addiction, well we know what happens." I cringed.

"So I sit back and watch my baby boy slowly kill himself?"

"I'm sorry Mrs. Cullen, I really am, I trie-"

She cut me off, "No no! Thank you Sam, really, we appreciate it. I know you tried, its just Edward is stubborn . . . I wish he wasn't. Do you think he'll stop?" There was hope in her voice and I didn't want to kill it.

"I think Bella would be able to help him eventually."

"Bella?" She repeated and I heard a small giggle and a shout of "Mommy!"

"He speaks of her often, maybe she can help."

"She won't be able to."

"Once again, I'm sorry Mrs. Cullen, if he ever recognizes he needs help you have my number. I can fly over there if it makes you more comfortable."

I felt a personal attachment to this case, Edward reminded me so much of myself, if only I had someone to look after me while I was in Edward's shoes I wouldn't have lost everything. I wanted to see him get help.

"Thank you Sam, thank you so much. We'll stay in contact."

"Goodbye Mrs. Cullen." I hung up the phone and reached in the desk and grabbed a stack of papers, I grabbed the form I needed and I glanced down at it.

I grabbed Edward's folder and a permanent marker and over the file I wrote, _**Case Closed.**_

I began filling out the form.

Reason for dismissal: _**Refusal of help.**_  
Should patient seek more help? _**Yes.**_  
Length of patients stay: _**Three months.**_  
Addiction? _**Yes.**_

Was patient cured?

I sat back and groaned. With a heavy heart I wrote down the final word that would seal his case:

**_No._**

I starred down at the file and my phone beeped next to me and I opened it and read the text message:

**He took the bait, he used again.**

I slammed my fists against the table, I knew he was going to do it; his body was craving it. He was probably flying high right now; he was probably bouncing in his seat from the energy.

I knew what it was like to taste your addiction after being separated from it.  
The relief you feel is immense.

I knew he was probably feeling tingly and relieved and anxious.

He took the bait, just like all the others did.

I looked down at his folder and frowned, case closed indeed.

I could only hope and pray he'd eventually seek help.  
Before it's too late.

-*-  
**Bella Swan:**

Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months.

Time flew when you were avoiding someone.

I thought it would be hard to have Edward out of my life.

But as days began to pass I began to stop thinking about him.

I began to forget all the memories we used to have.  
Except two.

I would never forget the day that started everything:  
The day he asked me out.

*  
_**Summer before freshmen year.**_

"_Bella!" I heard a screech then I felt a giant splash._

"_Emmett!" I screamed as I tried to wipe my glasses off, I wasn't in the mood to be splashed with water._

"_Sorry Bells!" He called out and dove back into the water. I rolled my eyes and began my search for Edward. _

_My eyes scanned the entirety of the pool and I finally spotted Edward's bronze locks. I lifted myself out of the pool and made my way over to him._

_Once I reached him I instantly regretted it, he was surrounded by girls and guys. They were all laughing and flirting and just being high school kids. _

_Technically, I was a high school kid now. I was going to be a freshmen in September, Edward a sophomore. _

_I cleared my throat and all eyes shot to me, "My, my look who it is, little Bella Swan. Wonder what she's here for." Lauren snickered and her eyes shot to Edward._

"_Yeah, I wonder who she wants to talk too . . . Mike? Nah. Tyler? Nope. Maybe, oh I know! It's probably Edward." Jessica let out a giggle and I instantly began to blush._

_Tyler clasped Edward's shoulder, "How does it feel knowing you have a middle schooler crushing on you?"_

_I cleaned my glasses off on my bathing suit before placing them back on, "Actually Tyler, I will be a freshmen once the school year starts."_

"_Yeah whatever." _

_Lauren stood in front of me, clad in a skimpy bikini, "Who invited you over here Bella?"_

_I gestured towards Edward, "I would like to speak to Edward. . ." I trailed off._

_I watched as Jessica wrapped her arms around him, "He's busy now. Why don't you run along now? My god, what are you wearing? A one piece? Gosh Bella, just leave no ones wants you here, freak."_

_Tears sprang in my eyes and I excused myself and left. Jessica and Lauren always tried to embarrass me in front of Edward, but this was too much._

_I quickly grabbed all my things and made a mad dash for the exit, as I hastily walked by the pool I didn't recognize Lauren standing near the eight feet sign, I continued walking and suddenly I felt an arm grab me and I tried to fight them off but suddenly I was flying._

_I felt water envelope me everywhere and I sucked in a breath, water instantly filled my mouth and I began to panic, I was in too deep. I could only swim in the five feet deep area. I finally surfaced and I began to gasp for breath and flap my arms trying to grab onto anything near me, I couldn't see a thing. I was under the water again, fighting to get some air and just get out of here. I was sobbing now, which didn't help me in the slightest._

_I began to lose all my oxygen and my anxiety seeped in. I heard a loud splash and felt an arm grab me by my waist, I was carried out of the pool, all the while I was sobbing and gasping for air. I heard screams coming from all around and that didn't help my anxiety._

"_Bella, Bella breathe." Cold hands clasped my face and I desperately tried to listen to that voice._

"_Relax Bella, I'm here. You're okay." The words began to relax me and I finally opened my eyes and saw a blur of bronze and green: Edward._

"_Edward." I sobbed and began coughing._

"_Shhh, shh." His hands began to pat my back and I began coughing up water._

_I was hiccupping, sobbing, and mortified. I was pulled into his lap and I inhaled his scent, almost instantly I began to relax. "You're okay now Bella." He was rocking me back and forth and I desperately wanted to look into his eyes._

"_My glasses." I groaned; my mom was going to kill me if I had to get another pair._

"_Em is getting them. Relax Bell; everything will be fine. Focus on breathing." I listened to his words and after a couple of minutes I was breathing easier. _

_I heard footsteps, "Here you go Bella." Emmett handed me my glasses and I placed them on and I could finally see. I glanced up at Em, and he smiled sadly at me._

_I glanced back at Edward and butterflies began to form in my stomach; he was looking at me with worry. "Edward, I'm tired." I whispered as I noticed everyone starring at me._

_He stood up with me in his arms and I wrapped my arms around his neck, he began walking and we heard a commotion and I looked up and saw Rosalie sauntering across the pool to where Lauren and Jessica where._

_Please Rose, don't do this. Please._

_I saw Lauren's eyes widen in happiness, it was no secret she wanted to be Rosalie's best friend. All the guys flocked around her and Lauren wanted in on that. Rosalie smiled a giant fake smile at Lauren and gestured for a hug._

_Lauren hugged her and I could see Rosalie fumbling with her hands._

_And then it happened:_

_Rosalie untied the straps to Lauren's bikini and pulled forward, an explosion of tissues fell out of Lauren's bathing suit and I gasped in shock._

_Instantly everyone started laughing, Rosalie reached down and grabbed a tissue and then she smiled sweetly at Lauren, "Thanks Lauren, I needed one. I know you're always stuffed with them." _

_Lauren was in shock; she was never the butt of the jokes. And it was nice to see the tables turned for once. Everyone was laughing at her, mocking her. Rosalie walked away with a little bounce to her step and she reached us and kissed me on the cheek and grabbed Emmett's hand and walked away. _

_Lauren screeched and ran towards the girl's bathroom with Jessica hot on her heels. _

"_Can we go now?" I murmured into Edward's chest. I was so sleepy. . ._

"_Yeah B, just relax. My mom's on the way." I nodded and began to doze off._

_I felt myself being lifted and I shot awake, "What are you doing?"_

"_Shhh, I'm just carrying you to my room." I nodded again. We entered Edward's room and he placed me onto his bed and he laid down beside me. _

_He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest and my heart began beating faster. "You okay now?"_

"_Yeah, I guess so. Sorry I embarrassed you."_

_Edward let out a loud laugh, "Bella, you just almost drowned and you're apologizing to me?" He shook his head, "I should be apologizing I'm so sorry B." _

_I blushed and looked down. "Not one of my best moments. . ." _

"_I'm sorry I took so long to get to you. I saw you fall and I began to panic, and then I saw you panicking, and the guys held me back. I think I broke Mike's nose trying to get away. . ." _

"_It's fine, you got to me eventually. My knight in shining armor." I let out a yawn. _

"_You're tired, you should take a nap." _

_I shook my head, "No, I haven't seen you in forever, I don't want to miss out on this."_

"_You won't." He promised and he gently grabbed my chin and pressed our lips together in a short, sweet kiss._

_When he pulled away, I looked at him in shock, "Did you really just do that?"_

_He nodded and covered me with his blankets, "Yes, and we'll talk about it when you wake up." _

_I wanted to protest but he began running his fingers through my hair and I was instantly lulled to sleep._

_-*-  
I rolled over and snuggled into the warmth that was surrounding me, I opened my eyes and searched for my glasses, once I found them I put them on and my eyes focused on Edward's sleeping form next to me._

_It was real.  
He was real.  
The kiss was real._

_I gently ran my fingertips along his face, his jaw, his eyes, and his lips.  
The soft, sweet, delicious lips.  
The ones I dreamed about since that night in my bedroom._

_I watched as his eyes opened and he smiled, I made a move to pull my hand away but he caught it in between his hands and intertwined our fingers and rested our hands on his chest._

"_Feeling better?"_

"_Yeah, it almost feels like I didn't come close to death."_

_He winced, "Too soon Bella."_

_I glanced down and blushed, "Sorry." I whispered and he pulled me into his closer._

"_What is this Edward?" Why was he being so attentive and caring?_

"_This is us Bella, what we're supposed to be."_

_My heart soared at his words and I gave him a big smile and then blushed, but I needed answers. I needed to make sure he wasn't doing this out of guilt. "Why the sudden change?"_

"_Bella, this isn't sudden. This has been coming for a while."_

_I blushed and glanced at our intertwined hands, "I know that. . . I just thought you forgot. We had that conversation like two years ago."_

"_I needed to grow up."_

_I rolled my eyes, "So you are? You're grown up?" _

"_Yup."_

"_Oh." I couldn't meet his eyes, I felt so awkward and I'm sure I didn't look so great; I mean, I did just drown._

"_I asked your dad and everything."_

_Now that caught my attention. "You asked my dad?" I hissed and smacked him lightly._

"_I had to get his permission."_

"_For what?"_

"_To ask you on a date."_

_I felt the heat on my face and I tried to hide it with my hair, Edward pushed away the loose strands and cupped my cheek, "Don't hide from me please." _

"_I'm not." I whispered._

"_Bella?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Will you go on a date with me Friday night?" This time it was his turn to blush._

"_I think I have plans this Friday." I joked._

_His blush increased and he glanced down, "Oh, I get it. Forget that I asked."_

_I grabbed his chin and turned his face towards mine, he wasn't meeting my eyes and I kept his chin in my hand until he finally looked at me, "I do have plans Friday night, I'm having a date with a really great guy, it's been long over due." I smirked._

_His eyes instantly lit up, "Oh, yeah? Do I know him?" _

"_Actually, I think you do. Some tenth grader, obviously he can't get any from the other sophomores he has to prey on freshmen." _

_He laughed and tickled my rib cage and I let out a laugh, "Oh yeah? I think that I know that guy. I heard he has a massive crush on you, since you were kids actually."_

_I blushed, "Yeah, I kind of had a crush on him to."_

"_Friday night?" He asked again._

_I nodded my head in agreement, "Friday night, six o'clock. Don't be late." _

_Edward grabbed my other arm and pulled me closer, until we were face to face, forehead to forehead, "I won't be late, I've been waiting for this for years."_

"_Yeah?" I asked._

"_Mhm."_

"_That's cool."_

"_Bella?" He asked and I met his eyes, "Stop talking." I let out a laugh and before I could respond he pressed our lips together again._

_I have a date with Edward Cullen on Friday.  
I've been waiting two years for this.  
*_

Two years, it took him two years to gain the courage to ask me out.

It was rather sweet actually.

Edward always put careful thought and consideration as to where we would go on our dates.

We've been on so many dates.  
Every Friday night.  
For three years.

I didn't want to remember any of our dates.  
How he would pick me up and hold the car door open for me.  
Or how he'd kiss me goodnight.

It only hurt me in the end.  
It hurt remembering a sweet love that was tainted by lies and cheating.

I only chose to remember the first day.  
Everything other than that was burned out of my mind.

_*  
**First date:**  
**Friday night, summer before freshmen year.**_

"_Mom? Do I look okay?" It was 5:50, Edward would be here soon and I was running around the house getting ready. I stood in front of the mirror and brushed off the imaginary lint from my satin blue blouse, I brushed off my skirt and did a spin in front of the mirror._

"_Bella you like fine!" She called from the kitchen. I rolled my eyes; she hasn't taken one look at me since I got dressed._

_I slipped on my black ballet shoes and the doorbell rang. My heart dropped to my stomach._

_I was actually doing this.  
We were actually going on a date._

_I ran to the door, not wanting Charlie to answer it. I opened the door quickly and let out a sigh of relief when I saw Edward standing there, in a dress shirt and jeans._

_He looked perfect._

_He ran a hand through his hair and handed me a bouquet of roses. "Um, these are for you." He stammered and blushed. I grabbed it and took notice of the variety of roses, red ones, yellow ones, pink ones and blues ones._

"_It's beautiful."_

_I glanced up at him and smiled, I felt awkward just standing here._

"_No, you are."_

_I blushed, "I'll get these inside, hold on a minute." _

_I ran back inside towards the kitchen, "Mom! He got me flowers!" I squealed in excitement. _

"_Uh huh, that's nice. Put them on the table." She said, never taking her eyes off of the T.V._

_I slumped my shoulders in defeat; she never paid attention to me anymore. I walked towards the living room and gave my dad a kiss on the cheek, "Bye dad." _

"_Be careful baby girl, remind Edward of our talk."_

"_Dad." I groaned._

_I walked back towards the door and Edward grabbed my hand and led me to his mom's car. Esme was sitting filing her nails, "Hi Mrs. Cullen."_

_Edward held the door open for me and closed it behind me and came around on the other side, once he was in the car he grabbed my hand in his and smiled shyly at me. "Bella, how many times do I have to tell you? Call me Esme dear."_

_I blushed and looked over at Edward, "Where are we going?" I asked as Esme pulled away from the house and drove down the street of Forks._

_Edward blushed and clasped my hand tighter, "Um, we have to stay in Forks tonight, mom's busy. But dinner and a movie? Is that okay? I should've asked you." He began to pull at his hair and I grabbed his hand and pulled it away from his hair._

"_Stop, that's perfect." _

_I saw Esme watching us through the rear view mirror and I instantly let go of his hand. We drove in silence, occasionally making comments about our day. Esme pulled up in front of the movies and Edward jumped out of the car when she parked and ran around to my side to open the door. I stepped out and thanked Esme for driving us._

"_Edward, I'll be back in three hours okay?" Esme called out after us, Edward nodded his head and led us into the movie theater._

_We stood in line to get our tickets and I was looking around the movie theater and then my heart stopped._

_Jessica and Lauren were here._

_I clasped Edward's hand in mine and he raised an eyebrow at me, "What's up Bella?"_

"_Nothing." I murmured, never taking my eyes off of them._

_Edward glanced at me and tried to see what I was starring at, I knew he realized they were here because he immediately tensed, "They won't bother you again I swear." _

"_Alright."_

_He pulled me into a hug and a wave of relief fell over me._

_He was here.  
With me.  
It'd be okay._

_We were next in line and Edward chose a sappy romantic comedy movie and paid for both of our tickets. I argued with him, wanting to pay my half but he wasn't having it._

"_It's a date Bella, I pay." I grumbled and placed my money back into my purse._

_We began walking hand in hand into the movie; it was too easy. I should've known it was going to happen._

"_Eddie!" Jessica called._

"_Oh dear God." I muttered to myself. _

_Edward wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me into his side and turned us around. "Hey guys."_

_They began sauntering towards us, and I let out a disgruntled sigh. Did they have to ruin our first date? They seemed to always be where we were. _

_Their eyes narrowed when they recognized me and they stood with their hands on their hips, "Eddie, what are you doing with her?" Jessica whined._

"_We," He gestured to him and I, "are on a date, so if you'll excuse us." _

"_Why are you on a date with her?" Lauren sneered and I wanted to tell her not to make that face because it was not attractive but Edward cut me off._

"_Because, I like her, she likes me. So we're dating." He made it sound so simple, easy._

"_Of all girls you chose her Edward? Really?" My self-esteem was taking a beating and I just wanted to leave._

"_Maybe because she's real Lauren, because she likes me for me. So leave us alone." He got angry towards the end and began to pull us away from them._

_I heard Lauren stomp her foot and I laughed, "Hey Lauren?" I called to her retreating back; she turned around with fire in her eyes. "What Swan?"_

"_Do you have a tissue?"_

_-*-  
Once settled in our seats the lights began to dim and I felt this pull towards Edward, like we were both magnets fighting to get near each other. I became more aware of his movements, his arm wrapped around my shoulder. _

_The commercials began to play and Edward was playing with a strand of my hair._

_The movie began to play and I tried to focus on the character's love story. _

_-*-  
An hour later:_

"_Hey Bella." Edward whispered._

_I turned to face him, "Yeah?"_

"_Do you know what's going on in the movie?" He blushed and I laughed._

"_Honestly, no." I said sheepishly. _

"_Good, you want to get out of here?" He gestured to the door and I smiled and stood up and quickly left before someone could complain._

_We walked out and sat down on the steps. "Why couldn't you focus?" I asked._

"_You."_

_He was so honest, "Oh."_

_Edward pulled my hand, "Your too far, come closer." He whined and pulled me until I was seated on his lap. _

"_You know Bella, I really, really like you."_

"_Ditto Edward, ditto." _

_We spent two hours outside of the theater talking about everything and nothing.  
It was perfect._

_Esme pulled up and I stood from Edward's lap and he walked us back to the car, holding my door for me again._

_Esme drove in silence, letting Edward and I whisper to each other, we were sitting closer to the other now. And I wasn't scared of it:  
I was embracing it._

_She pulled up to the diner and Edward let us out, "You have an hour and a half Edward. Sorry to cut your date short Bella, but we have a late dinner party to attend later." Esme apologized._

_I smiled at her, "It's okay, thank you Esme."_

_We walked into Forks diner and we waited to be seated, as we walked to our seats I couldn't help but feel all the eyes on us. The entire town was here, and they were all watching us intently. _

_We were seated in a booth and I blushed as the waiter winked at me, we put in our drink order and Edward reached across and played with the bracelet he gave me when we were little. He intertwined our hands over the table and I heard a chorus of sighs. I glanced up and saw everyone watching us, "Finally!" Someone called out and the diner erupted into cheers and I blushed._

"_Were they all waiting for this or something?" I whispered to a blushing Edward._

"_Guess so. The whole town knew we'd end up together." I laughed and shook my head. Sometimes I really loved Forks._

_We began looking through the menu and I decided on spaghetti with meatballs and the waiter came and I placed my order and Edward asked for a cheeseburger with French fries._

_I rolled my eyes at him; he always ordered the exact same thing._

"_I saw that eye roll Bella."_

_I rolled my eyes again, "Whatever Edward."_

_He sighed and looked upset and I frowned, "What's wrong?"_

"_You're too far away." _

_I smiled at his words and stood up and sat next to him, "Better?" He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer._

"_Not yet." He whispered and kissed me, I closed my eyes enjoying the feeling of his lips moving against mine, before I could deepen the kiss he pulled away. "Now I'm good." _

_-*-  
The food came and I went back to my seat across from him, we began eating and I stole a french-fry off his plate. _

"_Want a bite?" I gestured to my plate. He nodded and I began scooping up some spaghetti and I fed it to him. _

_We finished eating, well Edward finished, I couldn't finish my plate and we began talking about school._

"_Where do we go from here?" I asked suddenly._

"_What do you mean?" _

"_What are we?" I needed clarification._

"_I'm Edward and your Bella." I rolled my eyes; he saw my irritation and continued, "I mean, can I be your boyfriend? If you want? If you don't that's cool too. . ." He trailed off and I wanted to kiss him, he was adorable._

_I stopped his rambling and quickly answered, "I would love it if you were my boyfriend." He smiled triumphantly and I swore that my cheeks were going to stay red._

_The waiter came and handed Edward the check and Edward placed two twenty's inside and stood up and I grabbed his hand and we walked out together, with the town's eyes on our back the entire time._

_Esme was outside waiting and we both got in and she drove off to my house, "Did Edward behave Bella?" She asked before she pulled up in front of my house._

"_Mom." Edward groaned and covered his face with his hands. _

"_Yes, Esme. He was the perfect gentleman." I smiled at Edward's obvious embarrassment and he got out of the car and opened my door and led me up the stairs to my house._

"_Call me later?" I asked._

"_Yeah, I will." He seemed to be struggling with something, he kept looking back at his mom's car, and then to me and I grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him to me and kissed him, my hands went up to his hair pulling him closer, I needed him closer. His hands went down to my waist and he pushed his tongue into my mouth and I groaned in satisfaction._

_I jumped at the sound of Esme's car horn and I instantly started blushing. Edward leaned his forehead against mine, and we were both trying to catch our breath. "Goodnight Edward." I kissed him one more time, a softer, gentle kiss. _

"_Goodnight, girlfriend."_

_I smiled at his words and opened my door and stepped inside and watched him retreating back, once he was inside of the car I could've sworn he gave his mom a high five. _

_I closed the door and leaned my back against it._

_What a date._

_It was worth the two-year wait._

_He was now my boyfriend.  
Mine._

_Today was perfect.  
_*

I still remember the way my heart sped up, the butterflies in my stomach fluttered, I was so nervous and excited that day.

I forced myself to remember.  
My mind was trying to forget, in hopes to protect itself from hurt.

But I couldn't let that memory go.

-*-  
_October:_

"Carly Rose!" I called out and began opening up the bags of candy I bought, I began filling them into the tiny goody bags and I heard her running.

"Yes Mama?"

"Go put on your costume, we have to get a move on." She shrieked in excitement and ran towards her room. She was happy that she could finally wear her costume out, she wore it almost every night before she went to bed just so she could make sure nothing happened to it.

I was already in my costume, I was forced into a big yellow dress because I had brown hair and I reminded Carly of Belle. Jacob would arrive any minute now and he was supposed to be dressed as the beast.

I finished making the goody bags and I heard the doorbell ring and I grabbed the basket and opened the door and heard a chorus of, "Trick or Treat". I smiled at everyone's costumes and began handing out the candy.

"Move, move, move!" I heard a whiny voice call out and I froze.

I knew that voice.  
It was the voice of a demon.

Well not really, but she was close.

Megan.

"Bella, I want my candy." She whined and thrust her pumpkin basket in my face. I gently pushed it away and rolled my eyes.

"Megan, you have to wait in line like everyone else is."

I ignored her whining and handed it out to the rest of the kids, getting a thank you from all of them. I heard a throat clear and a high heel hitting the ground.

"Yes Jane?" I asked without looking up.

I handed little Bobby his goody bag and waved towards his mom who was at the end of the driveway.

"Tell me Bella, why did Meg come running towards me crying saying you didn't give her candy?"

I rolled my eyes again, "Well Jane, she pushed aside all the other kids just so she could get a bag, she has to wait in line, like everyone else is. I don't like to play favorites." I gave her a fake smile and finally met her eyes.

"Who are you to say what my kid can or can't do?" She hissed.

I glanced around the driveway making sure no kids were left without candy and I stood up, "Jane, I believe this is _my_ house. So my rules. Tough." I shrugged.

"Such a bitch." She whispered to herself.

"I guess I am, too bad."

I wasn't going to back down.  
I had to start standing up for myself.

She opened her mouth to say something and I cut her off, "Here, take the candy Jane." I handed her one bag and then promptly closed the door in her face.

I sighed in frustration as the doorbell rang again and I opened it quickly ready to tell her to fuck off.

"Look Jane, just leave, she got her damn can-"

"Whoa, whoa, ease up there Bella." I let out a sigh of relief when I saw it was Jake, not Jane.

He was in his beast costume and he brought the rose and everything. "Hey Jake."

"Long day?" He smirked.

"Don't get me started."

Carly was being fussy all day, wanting to eat candy, she didn't want her vegetables, her water was too cold and she didn't want to take a nap.

Days like these reminded me why I wanted Edward by my side. It was hard raising a kid by yourself.

"Cinderella is here!" I heard a tiny voice call out and I glanced at the staircase and grabbed my camera when I saw Carly walking down the stairs in her blue dress.

I began snapping pictures and she posed by herself and with Jake. "You look really pretty mommy." Carly whispered hesitantly, knowing she was still in trouble for being bratty today.

I smiled at her and lifted her in my arms, "You too princess." Jake snapped a couple of pictures of us and then I set Carly down and she grabbed her princess bag and we left the house, she insisted on leaving early because she wanted to get all the good candy.

Jake placed her in her car seat and I sat in the passenger seat, I couldn't drive in this dress so Jake had to. Once we made sure Carly was all situated we left.

-*-  
"Mommy, can we go to more houses?" Carly bounced eagerly in her car seat, her bag already had to be emptied out twice and she still wanted to go to other houses, we only hit a couple of houses, my dad's, Billy's and a couple of neighbors, but they emptied out their entire bowls in her bag when she smiled and told them Happy Halloween. This town was full of a bunch of saps.

"We're going to grandma's and then Aunt Rose's okay?"

I was nervous about going to Rose's house. I have successfully avoided her for a month but it hasn't been easy, she still called and showed up at work. But it was better for the both of us.

We both needed to focus on our families.

Carly was dead on her feet by the time we got to Esme's, she was tired and I knew she was going to knock out the second we got home but she insisted she wasn't sleepy.

We knocked on the door and Carlisle opened the door and Carly ran and jumped into his arms. "Papa!" She cried out and kissed his cheek.

"Who is this princess I have kissing me?" He asked in wonder. "Cinderella? Oh it's an honor! Your one of my favorite princesses."

Carly laughed, "No grandpa! It's me Carly!" She giggled.

Carlisle held her in both hands and his eyes widened, "My grandbaby Carly? Are you sure?" He looked over at us and winked and I waved.

"Yes Papa!"

He set her down and brought his hand to his chin in fake wonder, "Hmm, well, if you're sure then. You look beautiful princess."

I watched her blush and I laughed, she inherited that trait too. "Where's Nana?" She asked in wonder, peeking inside the house.

"She's inside, go get her." He moved aside and let us all in and I sat down in the couch and took my heels off and rubbed my feet.

Carlisle walked over and smiled at me, "Sore feet Bella?"

I nodded, "These heels are killing me, I swear Carly picked out the ones that would be the most painful."

Jake grumbled, "At least you don't have to be dressed as a beast!" He whined and I patted his cheek.

"But you look adorable."

"Adorable my ass."

Suddenly Carly was in front of us, "That's one dollar Uncle Jake." She stuck her hand in his face and he grumbled and dug in his pocket for his wallet, he took out a dollar and gave it to her.

"Fucking shit." He whined.

I grabbed Carly and whispered in her ear and she let out a giggle and stuck her hand out again, "Two more please."

Jake glared at me and reluctantly gave her the two dollars, Carly looked like she won the lottery she was jumping with joy and I smiled at her cuteness.

Esme walked into the room with a giant bag of candy, "Esme, really?" I asked gesturing to the candy she held.

"I'm not giving it all to her Bella."

"Yeah, she's going to have to visit the dentist soon." I muttered to Jake and he swung his arm over my shoulder and kissed the top of my head.

"Look at her face though, it's worth it."

I looked back at her, the excitement in her eyes, her smile. I agreed with him, "Yeah, it is worth it."

-*-  
I glanced back at the house and frowned, "Okay, how about you take Carly and go down and I stay in the car." I begged.

Jake sighed, "Bell, you're going to have to face them eventually."

I shook my head, "I'm just looking out for you, this is your car. . . Who knows what the teenagers in this town will do, their all hooligans." I smiled and he rolled his eyes.

"Do what you want Bells, you're going to regret pushing them away soon."

"I'm not pushing them away, I'm just giving them some space." I whispered. He shook his head and took Carly down and escorted her to the house.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the seat.

I thought I was doing the right thing by pushing them away.

They'd have the opportunity to spend time together.  
Make a family.  
Be in love.

I did the right thing.

I think . . .

"You can't hide forever Bella." I jumped at Emmett's voice and saw him standing by the window.

"I'm not hiding Em."

He shook his head, "You've been avoiding her, that hurts the both of us B."

"It's not intentional, you guys need to focus on being a family."

Em leaned against the car, "Yeah we need to focus on being a family. But you _are_ family Bella. Rose doesn't have any family here and you know it, she hasn't spoken to her mom since she graduated, and you've been there for her and to leave her hanging is just fucked up and you know it."

I closed my eyes and ran over my list of reasons in my head, "I have to do this Em."

He shook his head sadly and leaned in and kissed my cheek, "You don't have to Bella. I can't stand seeing her upset."

"You'll thank me one day."

"I know I won't. I'm going to head back inside. Call her Bell, we love you." He walked back towards the house and I shook my head.

Before I could contemplate his words any longer Carly and Jake came back to the car and I listened to Carly talk about how pretty Rose looked, and how she asked for me, and how she gave her lots of candy.

I missed my best friend.  
I couldn't count the amount of times I picked up the phone and dialed her number.  
But I had to do this.  
I had to work on myself and I had to stop being so dependent on others.

I wanted to be better for them.  
For Carly.  
For myself.

By the time we reached the house Carly was fast asleep in her seat and Jake took her out and cradled her in his arms, I grabbed the bags of candy and opened the front door and followed Jake up to Carly's room.

She woke up while I changed her, "My candy. . ." She whispered and I rolled my eyes and tucked her in.

"Your candy will be still be here tomorrow morning, I have to check it okay? Go to sleep baby, I love you so much."

"Love you."

And she was asleep. I ran my hands through her hair and sighed in ultimate content.

This right here:  
This beautiful sleeping girl was the cure to everything.  
Her smile could turn my day around.  
And her I love you's could keep me smiling for weeks.

Jake and I dumped out all her candy on the floor and began inspecting it and throwing away all of the open ones, occasionally we would take one of our favorites and put it to the side. Once the inspection was done we put the candy back in her bag and made our way upstairs.

I collapsed into bed, still wearing my dress and heels. I slipped them off and threw them on the floor. I didn't have it in me to change out of my dress.

"You changing Bella?" Jake asked from the closet.

"Um, no. Too tired." I heard the door close and he was in front of me.

"I'll change you."

I opened my eyes and starred at him in shock, "What?"

He rolled his eyes, "It'll be like seeing you in a bathing suit, roll over." I reluctantly agreed only because I didn't want to sleep in the dress and I felt his hands at the zipper on my back. He pulled it down slowly and lowered the dress until it was just under my breasts. He pulled my shirt on and pushed my dress down until he had it completely off and I was in my shirt and boy shorts, he gently grabbed my legs and pushed my shorts on and I thanked him and rolled over.

I turned off the light and we settled into bed and whispered goodnight to each other. And due to all of the excitement of today we fell asleep rather quickly.

-*-  
_November:_

I grabbed the remaining groceries from the car and placed them by Esme's door. Grocery shopping the day of thanksgiving in Forks was a terrible idea. But eventually I got all the things from my list, although I did have to fight for the last can of corn. . .

I opened the door and was rewarded with the smell of Esme's cooking, I walked into the kitchen with the dozens of grocery bags and I set them on the table. "I'm back." I called out. Carly came bursting out of the pantry, dancing around. "I found the sauce, I found the sauce!"

"Hey baby girl."

She immediately stopped her dancing and ran over to me, "Mama!"

"Hey baby, what are you doing?"

She was dressed head to toe in a chef's uniform, hat and everything, "We lost the sauce and I found it!"

"You're lucky she found it or else you'd have to make another supermarket run dear!" Esme called from the pantry, I walked over it and saw her rearranging some cans, "We made a bit of a mess." She whispered and gestured to Carly.

I walked towards the kitchen and opened the oven to check on the turkey, "When will it be ready?" I asked as I took a whiff of the turkey, it smelled delicious.

"It should be ready by dinner time, 6:30, we timed it perfectly this year." The pride behind her voice was obvious, this year things were running smoothly, we only had to make one emergency trip to the market, last year was horrendous, we had nasty mashed potatoes, a sick Carly and a burnt turkey.

And don't even get me started on Carly's first thanksigiving. . .

We wanted it to be perfect, and it turned out to be a disaster. Cooking with a screaming baby in your ear is _never_ a good time.

I pulled off the hair tie from my wrist and lifted my hair in a high ponytail and then clapped my hands, "Okay Esme, I'm all yours what do I have to make?"

"Okay, Miss Carly?" She called out and Carly came running to her side eager to help her grandma, "Okay, you have to tell me what I made already sweetie."

Carly nodded eagerly and Esme began to list off the food, "Turkey?"

"Done."

"Sweet potatoes?"

"Finished."

"Mashed potatoes?"

"Nope." I nodded and wrote it down on the dry erase board on the refrigerator.

"Corn?"

"Nope." I added that to my list.

"Peas?"

"Yes." Carly grumbled, not pleased that she had to eat peas tonight, she was not a fan.

"Asparagus?"

"Done."

"Macaroni and cheese?" Esme smiled at Carly and winked and I knew that she was adding that to our cooking list just because Carly loved mac and cheese.

"Nope." I added that to my list and began searching the counter for the necessary ingredients.

"Pecan pie?"

"Yes."

"Corn bread?"

"Yes."

"Stuffing?"

"Yup."

"Potato salad?"

"Nope." I grabbed some potatoes and placed them on the island and began searching for a knife.

"Egg salad?"

"Yes."

"Rolls?"

"We made tons!" Carly giggled, unable to contain her excitement.

I kneeled down in front of Carly and made my face extremely serious, "This is do or die Carly, super important, did you make pumpkin pie?" I asked.

"I made it!" She squealed and then her expression became serious, "I mean, yup."

I ruffled her hair and kissed her on her forehead, "Silly goose."

I grabbed the Disney princess pink stool and set it beside the little work bench I created, "Are you gonna help me Miss Carly Rose?" I nudged her with my hip and helped her find her balance on the stool.

I stood behind her and grabbed the knife in my hand, "Kay Carly, what has mommy told you about knives?"

Carly turned to me with a bored expression on her face, "We have to be really careful with them, we don't need to end up in the hospital, or faint because blood smells icky." She recited; yeah I might've told her that a thousand times, I've been in the hospital too many times.

Plus, they're always packed on holidays.  
We did not need a trip to the E.R.

I set the plate of potatoes in front of her and gently placed the knife in her hand, when her hand curled around it I grabbed her hand in mine and we began chopping the potatoes together. I heard the click of the camera and I groaned and turned to Esme, "Really Esme? I look horrible."

She laughed and took another picture, "You two are so adorable! Mommy and daughter cooking time. So sweet." She began to wipe her eyes and my mouth dropped open in shock.

"Esme, are you _crying?"_ Never, never in my entire life have I witnessed Esme Cullen cry.

She wiped at her eyes and waved me off, "You two are so beautiful and happy. It's just, I wish he could be part of this."

Me too Esme, me too.

"One day he will be." I was trying to sound confident, but we both had looks of doubt. We didn't know whether or not he would be involved in Carly's life in the future.

I could only hope.

But I wouldn't dwell on it. Thinking of him would bring me three steps back.

We continued cooking and with the help of Carly we had everything done and ready to serve on the table, I excused myself and walked towards the den, seriously contemplating what I was about to do.

I pulled out my phone from my pocket and my fingers pressed down on the address book and I scrolled down until I found the number I needed. My finger hovered over the dial button and in a moment of bravery I pressed it.

Three rings and then voice mail:  
"Hey it's me, do what you have to do. I'll get back to you, maybe."

Once I heard the beep the words began spilling out of my mouth, speaking what my heart so desperately wanted to say.

"Hey, it's me. . I called you the other day; I guess you didn't hear that voicemail or your ignoring me. Look I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry for pushing you away. I just need you here right now, we all look so happy, like a family but you're missing and I was wrong you _are_ my family and I'm so incredibly sorry." I let out a small sob and continued, "Please come to Esme's, we have a ton of food and I know you'll be home alone, well not really by yourself but you know. I just want you here. Isn't thanksgiving about family and getting together and shit? I need you here; I need my entire family here. I'll save a plate for you in case, please come." I pressed the end call button and I leaned my head against the cool glass window.

I did it.  
I took the first step to reopen communication.

-*-  
I grabbed Carly's dress and helped her put it on, once she was situated I began braiding her hair, once she was all done she asked me if she could do my hair and I agreed.

Obviously, I couldn't say no to her.

Hence, why I sat at the dinner table with my hair looking like a bird's nest.

Jake finally arrived meaning we could begin cutting the turkey, the food turned out perfectly this year and I wish we had more people to share it with. It was only Carlisle, Esme, Jake, Carly and I. Charlie was headed down to La Push with Billy for a thanksgiving dinner with Sue Clearwater.

I began to serve Jake his plate when the doorbell rang, "Can you get that Bella?" Esme called out from the kitchen.

I walked towards the door and when I opened it up and saw who was standing there my heart clenched.

"You came." I let out a tiny sob and I was enveloped in a hug and I let out a laugh, "I'm so sorry, thank you for coming." I whispered.

"It's alright B. I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, I promise I won't ever do that again. I was so stupid." I muttered to myself.

"Bella?" The voice cut me off.

"Yeah?"

"Mind telling me why your hair looks atrocious?" We both let out a laugh and I knew that things between us would be okay.

Of course It'd be okay, my entire family was here.

"Shut up. Come in, I was just serving dinner, looks like you were on time." I smiled and walked into the dinning room.

"Aunt Rose!" Carly screamed and ran out of her chair into the arms of Rose, I watched them with a giant smile on my face.

"You did the right thing you know." I raised my eyebrows at him, "Calling her. You did the right thing by calling her." I looked up at Em and pulled him into a hug.

"I was stupid to think I could have a thanksgiving without the two most important people in my life."

"Well thanks, you saved me from Rose's s burnt turkey."

"I heard that asshole!" Rose yelled at Emmett and he blew her a kiss.

"Aunt Rose, one dollar!" Carly smiled, that kid was such a good hustler.

"You know, here's a ten for tonight okay?" Rose whispered as she handed Carly the ten-dollar bill, and for a second I could've sworn that her eyes were going to pop out of her head.

"Thank you!" Carly squealed and ran back to me, putting her money in my pocket. Once we were all seated and situated with our plates Esme announced that we would go around the table and announce one thing we were thankful for.

Esme was up first since it was her idea, "I am thankful for my beautiful grandbaby Carly."

Carly smiled at her and then cleared her throat, she looked over at me and motioned me closer, "What am I supposed to say Mama?" She whispered into my ear.

I cupped my hand near my mouth and whispered back, "Whatever you really like and appreciate."

She nodded her head and bit her lip, "I'm thankful that Mama buy's me all the iCarly DVD's." She smiled happily and leaned over and gave me a wet kiss on the cheek.

Yeah, iCarly was her latest obsession. She thought it was cool that they had the same name, and she had a crush on a certain Freddie fellow.

Rose cleared her throat and glanced at all of us, "I'm thankful that I'm finally with my family." She looked over at me and we both shared a smile.

"I'm thankful I didn't have to eat Rose's cooking." Emmett called out and Rosalie pinched him, "Okay, okay! Damn woman." He grumbled, "I'm thankful for my little Carly Ro, and my gorgeous wife and sister B, and the parents I never had, Dr. C and Miss Esme."

When he mentioned Rose being his wife I didn't feel the tiny pang in my heart.  
I didn't flinch when I saw them kiss or hold hands.  
I was happy for them.  
Their love was so beautiful.

"Of course I'm thankful for little Carly." Carlisle started and Carly beamed at him, "And for our family and health."

Jake was up, "I'm thankful for all this food!" He fist pumped and I smacked him lightly, "And for our health." He mumbled.

All eyes starred at me as I thought of what I was thankful for, "I'm thankful for my family, and finally being together again. I love you guys, so much." I raised my wine glass and took a sip and everyone followed, even Carly, drinking her apple juice.

Then we dug in, eating the delicious food we cooked, and enjoying each other's company.

-*-  
I took in the sight in front of me, Esme was wiping mashed potatoes off of Carly's face, Carlisle was drinking his wine, Rose was giving Em a glare and holding a spoon in her hand, suddenly mashed potatoes flew and landed right smack dab on Emmett's cheek. I watched Emmett lean over and smear cranberry sauce onto Rose's cheek.

Thus ensuing a food fight.

Food was flying everywhere, Carly was throwing mac and cheese everywhere and Carlisle hit me with a roll, Esme was trying to get us to stop but I saw her throw a piece of turkey at Em.

This was my family.  
My perfect family.

Yeah we were missing one person and I didn't want to think of him and dwell on my feelings for him because:

As time flies, memories begin to fade.

And I wanted to remember this.  
My family.

Everything was finally okay.  
-*-

**

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**Q/A: When you need to get over things what do you do?**

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**AN: Hello lovelies! I'm restarting the teasers for review thing because reviews have been slacking, 192 people have this on alert. . . and 13 reviewed. I can't even do the percentage of that, but yeah you get it. I'm not asking for reviews for sake of numbers; I want your opinion, I want your theories. **

**Updates: Updates will be every other week and I'm aiming for Wednesdays. **

**There is one chapter before there is E and B face to face interaction, if you were following me on twitter (**staybeautifulxf**) you would know that. Follow for teasers, and for my rants. It's all fun.**

**P.S This is the longest chapter I've ever written, I think that deserves a review!**

**Fic Recs:**

**Paper Heart by hezpixie- This fic is totally owning me right now, it's so beautifully written and angsty and perfect.**

**My bestworst mistake by edluver09- This fic is just adorable and I loveeeeeeeee it!**

**Reviews are better than a food fight on thanksgiving!**


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